Aimee's Entry

I'm going to ramble for a bit here... I swear I have a reason for all this rambling so please bare with me.

Friendship is one of those precious gifts that some people tend to take for granted because they think that no matter what happens in life, that friendship will always be there. That's not always the case though... friendships fade and people drift apart. I'm one of those people who doesn't make friends easily. I don't know why? I just never have. Honestly, in the physical sense, I don't think I can name one person that's a "friend" who isn't part of my family. It's sad and it's lonely but that's just the way it is.

A couple years ago, I met a woman online (who I won't name for a whole multitude of reasons) and she came to mean a lot to me. She was a friend and I loved her. For that reason alone, I would have done anything for her. That's one of the things that's both a blessing and a curse for me. When I love, I love deep and if you're a friend, I'll give you the shirt off my back if that's what you need. No questions asked, no limitations, no stipulations, no expectations. Unfortunately, opening yourself up that way gives the person you've opened up to the power to hurt you. She hurt me. Badly. I wish I could say that I hate her for it but I don't (I'm not too fond of her but I don't hate her) because while she left a lot of scars behind, her betrayal sparked a friendship that means more to me than I could possibly explain.

Without this beautiful woman in my life, I'm fairly sure I would have gone quietly mad. She's helped me in ways you couldn't fathom and when I'm down and out, she just picks me up, dusts me off and helps me move forward. She did that for me today and I don't thik she realizes how much that means to me.

Angie, thank you for always being there to pick me up when I stumble. I love you.

I could write a five page post about the pity party I'm currently throwing myself but I don't figure that all of you wish to be invited. So, what I'm going to do is, get through the rest of the day, go home and indulge in a good cry.

I will say for those who care that my doctor's appointment didn't go swimmingly, they usually never to do but this one was worse than most. Apparently, I have some fairly serious problems that need to be addressed. So, I'm addressing them.