Aimee's Entry - Forced To Face Myself (Depressing Post)
God, work done kicked my ass today and I still have an hour left. Sigh. Come on 5 o'clock.
Christie (my sister and one of the best friends I've got) sent me this really long e-mail. It was one of those e-mails that forces you to step back and take a look at your life. Well, I haven't e-mailed her back yet because, honestly, I'm not sure what to say. I have every intention of answering her but I guess I just need some time to sort it all out in my head and my heart. Being forced to look at your life without the rose coloured glasses can be fairly disheartening.
And out of everything that she said in her e-mail, I think this hurt the most...
"...I remember a girl i wanted to be. everybody wanted to be around her, look like her, be like her. she was happy, with a high self esteem and boy was I jealous. I miss her..."
(supermodel I am not and have never been so, feel free to skip the picture)
.
She's talking about her ^^^ and In a lot of ways I miss that girl too. But that girl up there was a naive 19 year old with big hopes and crazy dreams. She had to grow up. And growing up hasn't been a walk in the park but it didn't completely kill the person I used to be. There's still some of that girl left inside me. I just have to look really hard to find her. (And Christie, I wasn't really all that attractive. I have the funniest shaped face. What's with that?)
Okay, enough depressing stuff for toady. And since I have absolutely nothing positive to say at the moment I'm going to stop right here.
Night.
posted by Angie @ 7:00 PM
5 Comments:
Big hopes and crazy dreams are great when you're 19, but life happens, ya know? I'm sure you're a lot more interesting today than you were back then.
Cheer up old gal. Growing up isn't the worst thing in the world.
Now let's talk about that big hair.
awwww.... honey!!! * big hug * it seems that everyone has these days where they feel like shit.. it even happens to me.... all i can say is that people change with time,whether they want it or not..lifes like that... now coming from a 19 year old guy who still has big dreams,it may seem stupid of me to say this but YOU DONE GOOD KID!!! and dont you ever doubt it!!
ps: honey i wonder if your arms werent hurting after all that hair teasing!!lol!! bring on the hairspray!! like i use to say to my friends: the bigger the better!!
Hey now guys! Give Aimee some slack, it was 1994 already! LOL And for the record, her hair is not that big! You should see my Cher hair via the 90's when I don't so anything with mine. "If I could turn back time!" LMAO
Aimee, I'm sooo sorry you're feeling depressed. *biiiig hug* You know I'm here for you whenever you need me to be and if all you need is someone to listen - you I'm here with open ears and arms! If there's anything you need, don't hesistate. Ever.
Love you always,
Ang
Rod,
Thanks for the hugs love. There's nothing more lovely than a hug.
As to your question... why do you take all the crap into your yard????
I suppose the main reason for me is, because I know that no matter how much shit they throw at me or how much pressure they inflict, etc. they're only doing it because they care about me.
Jay,
You're right, growing up isn't the worst thing in the world (but it's darn pretty close - LOL... just joshin')
And thanks for the compliment, I don't know if I'm more interesting but I'm certainly different. I was a snobby "drama" queen (and I mean that literally, I was into the theater, acting and all that jazz) back in the day. And well, I'm not snobby anymore but I'm still a drama queen (and it has nothing to do with the theater).
The hair... hmm, well, it was the 90's ya know. Big hair was in (I think). Oh God, I wish I had a scanner, I could do a whole montage of "Aimee's Hair: Through The Years".
g_c,
You're such a sweetie. Thanks for the *big* hug and the words of encouragement!! You may be only 19 darlin' but years are irrelevant, it's your personality and good-hearted nature that make your words precious to me.
LMAO... the hair again!!!
Ang,
Thanks babe for helping a sista out. And hey, I wanna see your Cher hair!!!
Thank you baby for EVERYthing. Talking it through with you today helped more than I could possibly tell you! Thanks for always being there!
Te amo con todo mi corazón... por vida mami.
Xo,
Aimee
Thank you Raph *hugs* you're such a sweetheart!
Xo,
Aimee
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