Aimee's Entry - Writing 101.

I’m going to have to tag a disclaimer to this blog entry.

THE CONTENT IN THIS BLOG ENTRY CONTAINS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT ADULT MATERIAL THAT SOME PEOPLE MAY FIND OFFENSIVE. IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 AND/OR IT IS PROHIBITED BY LAW FOR YOU TO READ STORIES CONTAINING EROTICA, SOME OF WHICH YOU MAY FIND GRAPHIC IN NATURE, THEN PLEASE - STOP HERE.

And if you just don’t get down with sexually explicit material, read yesterday‘s entry, it’s nice and wholesome. And hey, there’s even a picture of my adorable (not) face. Speaking of yesterday’s entry, I still have to type up Cameron’s explanation for the “rug burn” incident. I promised Raph that if Cameron gave me a creative explanation, I’d share. So, it’s coming Raph. He didn’t disappoint me.

But right now, I have to touch on a subject that’s near and dear to my heart. Writing. I’m not a published author, nor am I in any way, shape or form an authority on writing but as someone who loves to write and read, I know what I like. And I know what I don’t.

I was bored last night so I cruised through some sites and did some reading. And as I was reading, I noticed a lot of nit-picky things that bothered me and since I’m obsessive compulsive about some stuff, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. So, I’m going to talk about it.

This is an excerpt from something that I wrote (and here’s where the Disclaimer comes into play).
--/--
“I love the way you feel in my hands.” she moaned and moved her hand teasingly up and down the length of his cock.

He couldn’t think straight, it was a wonder he was still breathing. She’d been innocent when he’d taken her and every time she’d touched him since, there had been an edge of nervousness but not tonight. There wasn’t one nervous fucking thing about the way her hand was stroking his cock.

“Fuck, that feels good baby.”

She slid down off the seat and landed on the floorboard between his knees. He was still hot and hard, pulsing in her palm and she used her free hand to push his boxers down as far as she could get them.

“I wanna taste you.” she whispered, leaning forward and closing her mouth over the tip of his cock.

“Oh-My-Fucking-God.” His hips bucked up and he involuntarily pushed himself deeper into her mouth.

He froze, afraid that he’d hurt her or scared the shit out of her by pushing so roughly into her mouth. But she just moaned and pulled her hand away so that she could sink her mouth down more fully, sheathing his cock.

The feeling of being embedded fully in her mouth, of knowing that he was the first one she’d ever taken into her mouth like this, was enough to bring him to his knees.

“Am I doing this right?” she whispered and the vibration of her words against his cock almost did him in.

“Fuck yes.” he hissed and fought to hold on but the battle was futile. He was so close to the edge, he could fucking taste it.

She was moving her mouth up and down his shaft, running her hot, moist tongue over the sensitive flesh. It was too much, he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Stop baby. Please. I’m gonna cum,” he moaned brokenly, “and I don’t wanna cum in your mouth.”

“I want you to. I wanna taste you.”

His whole body tensed and he exploded, his orgasm ripping through him. He didn’t even have time to think about it and he didn’t think he could’ve stopped it if he tried. His cum pumped out in thick, syrupy streams, flooding her mouth. She didn’t pull away like he’d expected her to. Instead, she kept her mouth closed tightly over his cock until he’d released every last drop.
--//--
Now, why is Aimee sharing her pervy writing with us, you ask. Well, one reason would be because pervy is all I write. I write erotica folks, that‘s it. Spank me. But the real reason is because I’m using it as an example. I write, the way I want to read. Does that make sense? No? Well basically, when I write something I try to tackle it from a readers perspective because honestly, I don’t just write for myself. I write for every reader out there that happens to stumble upon one of my stories.

Did you find that excerpt easy to read?

Well imagine, if you will, that excerpt as one big, never ending paragraph. No spaces. No separation. Nothing. Would you enjoy reading it like that? I know I wouldn’t it. I’d get lost in the middle and end up rereading sentences in my quest to find where I left off. I’d eventually get annoyed and give up. Spacing is important. It breaks up dialogue and description and just basically makes it easier on the eyes.

Now, how about this?
--/--
His whole tensed and exploded, his orgasm ripping him. He didn’t even have time think about and he didn’t think could’ve stopped it if he tried. His cum pumped out thick, syrupy streams, flooding mouth. She didn’t pull away like expected her to. Instead, she kept her mouth closed tightly his cock until released every last drop.
--/--
Hmm, it just doesn’t seem complete, does it? There’s some key words missing in there. Now, the reader could probably fill in the blanks, if they were so inclined but why would they want to? They’re there to read the story not edit it. Missing words here and there is okay. Everybody does it, I know I have BUT missing several words in what would be considered a small paragraph so that the paragraph sounds choppy and incomplete is bad. It doesn’t take long to go back and check for missing words and the results are well worth the extra minutes.

I think that’s the crux of what was bothering me. So, I believe I’m done and if I came off sounding like an ass, I’m sorry. I certainly didn’t mean to. And, if you’re thinking, “Whatever Aimee, put up or shut up.” I suppose I’ll have to do that ;)