Aimee's Entry - Psychobabble...

Life: The interval of time between birth and death...

Life, with all of it's scary dimensions and all of it's rays of bright light ruthlessly overshadowed by shades of gray. What does it all mean? I wish I knew.

I've always found it funny that something that covers such a broad spectrum is shoved into such a tiny word. Have you ever really sat back and pondered what that small word really means? To you? To all of us? Not just it's textbook definition because no definition as simplistic as the one given could possibly encompass all of the intricacies that one experiences through life. I know that I've pondered it's meaning. I've actually laid there at night alone in my bed, staring up at the cieling while I gave "the meaning of life" a great deal of thought. What answers did I find? That there are no answers. That life is an entity in and of itself and we, as mere pawns in the grand scheme of this baffling entity just have to ride the waves and see where they take us. But in doing that do we have any control? That's certainly something to think about.

I've always been one of those people who believed that we alone control our fate, that our destiny lies within the choices that we make. And I still belive that but is it true? I've certainly been tested by low blows and blinding curveballs that made me question the control I have over my life.

Is life really what we make it? Or is our life being controlled by some unforeseen force standing back in the shadows with his hand hovering vicariously over some life altering remote?

I don't know? Who really knows? It's all in your individual perception, I suppose. But you know what? Whether we're in the drivers seat or nothing more than mere puppets in the play of life, I've decided that I am the master of my own destiny. I will decide what path my life takes on this long and harrowing journey. And to hell with anyone who tells me different.

Sighs. I'm feeling philosophical today, don't mind me.

Do you know what's pathetic? Kim and I played Eenie Meenie Minie Moe to decide where we were going for lunch today. She's 35 and I'm going to be 30 in 3 months and we can't figure out lunch without resorting to childish games. Well, at least we didn't play spin the bottle to decide who chooses - LOL.

I have no earthly idea what I'm going to do with myself tonight, it'll be so quiet in my house. Drew is out of town and tonight is a "No-Dad" night. Drew will be gone all week and it always baffles me because I just can't sleep when he's gone. I don't think I've ever mentioned my relationship with Drew but we don't exactly have one of those "picture perfect" marriages. Hell, I don't even think we like each other half the time. So, my "no-sleep-syndrome" when he is gone is weird. Is it because I've gotten so used to someone sleeping beside me that I just can't sleep alone anymore? Eh, who knows.

I've talked a lot about Cameron lately so, I figured I should make introductions...



Everybody, ^^^ that's Cameron.

And hey everybody, wish me luck at my immunologist appointment today. I think I'm going to need it. Blah.

Okay, that's about it for me. Adiós.