(REPOSTED) Candy Coated Sarcasm (Isn't That The Best Kind?)...

REPOSTED

Sometimes you've just gotta scratch the itch... C'est la vie.

NOTE: This is nothing but pure, unadulterated sarcasm. It represents everything that we would NEVER do on our website/forum. And hey, if you happen to recognize some of these traits in the way you run your domain then well, that's your problem not ours. We might suggest that perhaps you should try running a nice, friendly site instead of some uptight form of boot camp but eh, that's just us.

Let the sarcasm begin...

Well, we've thought long and hard about this and we've come to a few decisions that we think you'll agree wholeheartedly with (and if you don't well who fucking cares, nobody asked you, did they?):

Let's talk banners, shall we? They're a handy little thing, no? I mean, we could beg and plead all of the loyal readers that visit our site to come on over to our forum and work their asses off while we sit back and do well, not-a-fucking-thing... hey, don't be stingy now, you'll get a cute little banner for your troubles. We won't make you Moderators or give you any kind of "real" privileges but you'll get a fucking banner... sheesh...do you honestly think we'd let you take ALL the credit for everything WE do to keep this site running??

And hey, if you decide to post your work up at our forum, we'll make sure that we go through it with a fine tooth comb, nit-picking every fucking thing you've written because well, why not? We are the "Queens" of writing, after all -- we know our shit and it doesn't stink. After we're done nit-picking we'll make sure to tell you exactly how you need to portray your characters and if you don't change them to suit our needs, we'll just remove your story from our forum. Bing, Bang, Boom. Because honestly, it's highly offensive to us that you'd attempt to use your brain and create your own characters. I mean really... Jeez. Besides that? We KNOW that staff members of a certain rapper and his label are checking our site on a daily basis cause we ARE that fuckin’ cool, just ask us, we'll tell you. We don't want him to sue us, cause ya know, he's got nothing better to do than sit on his ass all day and read fiction about himself!!

We'll strive to always be bitchy, nasty and to never, ever miss an opportunity to jump your shit if you feel the need to express your opinion. They're just not welcome! The only opinions acceptable are ours for fucks suck. I don't know why we have to keep going over and over the same shit. Sigh. And if you dare call one of us out, dare to tell us that we're wrong, well! Consider yourself immediately banned. You are not allowed to challenge us or bring one of OUR decisions into question! This is OUR site and we will run things, fair or unfair, the way we see fit!

After we've sat back for a while and let you do all the work, we'll slink back out of the wood work and whine (boo, hiss) about all the back-breaking work and mind-numbing expense involved in running our site and ultimately hit you up for money. You didn't really think we were going to keep letting you read our shit for free, did you? Oh pipe down, so what -- you're doing all the work. Are we supposed to care? My God, you people are incredible.

Ass kissing is not optional. Do it or get the fuck out. Seriously, you don't expect us to do all this "work" without the pleasure of having your lips firmly planted on our ass, do you? If we feel that we're not getting enough praise for everything we do, we'll threaten to shut the site down, that oughta get your attention huh? You need to, on a regular basis, create threads that sing our praises. We're very childish, demanding, self-centered, holier-than-thou individuals who are always right and if we don't get our way or if we're feeling unloved, then we will throw temper tantrums.

And for pity's sake, don't expect us to actually update the site more than once a year. Yeah sure, you're doing all the work and now you're paying too but that doesn't entitle you to regular updates. What the hell do you think we are? I swear. If you think you can run a site better than we can, then by all means, go ahead and start your own, but don't think for one second of a second that you'll be advertising it on OUR site!! Not a chance in hell!-If you happen to have the gall to correct one of us when we're being irrational, rude and just downright bitchy to people for absolutely no fucking reason, it's lights out bitch. Honestly, how dare you? Who the fuck do you think you are pointing out that we're being egotistical, self-righteous assholes.

Well Jeez, I think that about covers it. Welcome to our site/forum. Please make yourselves at home and by all means enjoy yourselves!

~ * Aimee and Angie * ~