Aimee -- The Power of Perception...

I've decided that I hate being short. It's annoying. Everybody seems to tower over you and how the hell is anyone supposed to take you seriously when you're only a smidge over 5 foot? Sigh. Sucks to be short.

And while I'm in "bitching-mode", why change courses, eh?

Angie and I were chatting on Yahoo earlier and we got into a discussion on self-esteem which led to a discussion on self-confidence in ones appeal. Self-confidence is an area where we both seem to lack so it got me to thinking about how we perceive ourselves and more specifically, why we perceive ourselves that way?

I didn't really come up with an answer other than, I'm not content with the woman who stares back at me in the mirror everyday so why should anybody else be?

Us women (not all of us but a good amount of us), seem to have all of these (unwanted) idiosyncratic insecurities when it comes to physical appeal. Why that is, I have no clue but we do (or at least I do).

When we were up on my mom's land where she's having her house built a few weeks ago, she wanted to take a picture of Christie and I in what will be her bathroom shower.

So we both stepped into the shell of her shower but before my mom could snap the picture my sister sighed and asked, "Why do you always do that?"

I didn't know what the hell she was talking about, "Do what?"

"Hide." My mom answered, "You always hide."

Huh? "Huh?"

"You were just hiding behind Christie. You always do that when someone tries to take your picture."

I do? "Do I?"

"Yes!" Christie said exasperated, "Stop it!"

You know, I never realized I did that or that I'm so self-conscious about the way I look that I have to hide myself behind someone/something every time someone tries to take a picture of me. But they're right, I have a whole slew of photo albums to prove it. It was perplexing. Why do I feel the need to shield myself? I'm not beautiful by any means but I'm not ugly either so why hide? I don't have an answer but three weeks later, I still do it. Maybe it's just ingrained somewhere in my subconscious mind? Who knows?

I've always admired those women that just don't give a fuck, you know? They don't care if anyone else thinks they're beautiful, they think they're beautiful and that's what carries them. They exude so much confidence, you can feel it a mile away. And ironically, physically beautiful or not, their confidence draws you in, it makes them beautiful.

So, I've decided that I need to get to work on improving the perception I have of myself, gain some bloody confidence and stop hiding behind people.

Well, what do ya think?

P.S. This is the dumbest fucking comment I've read in a while...

[... DON'T WORRY FLORIDA, THERE ARE ALOT OF RICH REPUBLICANS LIVING IN FL, INCLUDING HIS BROTHER...BUSH WILL BE THERE FOR YOU, YOU CAN COUNT ON IT! ...]

Sigh. It tempts me to respond to their ignorance...

You just can't account for some peoples ignorance. Why don't people try checking their facts before they make ignorant statements? FYI, there are people in Homestead and other areas that are still homeless because Katrina (and last years hurricanes) destroyed their homes.

Where do you people get the idea that Florida gets special treatment? Because Bush is the Governor? All that does is condemn us to ignorant statements like that one .