Aimee

God, yesterday was a bad day -- a very, very bad day.

It started off with a trip to Quest Diagnostics (God, I hate that place) because I had to have some tests done for the physical I've been dodging all year that my doctor finally managed to coerce me into next week. With the amount of blood they drew, I think the doctor ordered every test known to man. It was obnoxious but blood wasn't the problem, it was the numerous tests she ordered that required a urine sample that presented a problem. I could've consumed 5 gallons of water before walking in there and I don't think it would've been enough. The crazy woman actually wanted me to sit in the waiting room and drown myself in water until I was able to produce a suitable amount of urine. Well, that wasn't happening because I had an appointment at Imperial Point's infusion department at 8:00 AM so I (reluctantly) agreed to carry around specimen cups with me and try to fill them throughout the day. Sigh. Have I ever mentioned that I hate peeing in a cup? Well, I do.

When I finally (traffic was a bloody bitch and it isn't a short drive) got to Imperial Point I ran head first into another problem. Between the hospital, my doctors office and the damn insurance company no one managed to get authorization for my infusion nor did anyone bother to clue me in that I'd need to obtain new authorization. And to further frustrate me, the woman in registration (not the receptionist cause she's awesome) decided to give ME a lecture about obtaining prior authorization before coming in so that the hospital doesn't have to scramble to get my infusion approved. Well, if someone had bothered to fucking tell me that I needed to get new orders/authorization then I would've been more than happy to get them, dammit. I'm guessing these people think that I like sitting around with my thumb up my ass while my doctors office is tussling with my insurance company. Well, I don't. Hell, I don't like getting the fucking infusion in the first place so let me tell you, sitting around in the outpatient department for hours waiting for authorization isn't my idea of fun.

While I was waiting the nurse called down and said that if I didn't get up there soon, I'd have to reschedule because she had to be out of the hospital by 3:30 for an appointment. Argh. Well, there was no way in fucking hell that I was rescheduling. I'd already missed half a day of fucking work for that shit and we were going to do it if I had to fucking start the damn IV myself.

Authorization came through a little after 11:00 AM and I headed up so she could get started. She started the IV and adminstered the pre-meds (which is really just a very potent form of generic Benedryl) while we waited for the phramacy to send up the IVIG. That stuff messes me up bad so I went out like a light and I have no idea when she actually started infusing the meds but when I woke up, I was itching something fierce, it was awful. I went to the bathroom and discovered that I had a horrid case of hives. I have to tell you, I wanted to cry, I know I'm being a baby about it but it'd been such a horrible day and adding the hives was just too much. I didn't cry though, I just bucked up and dealth with it.

I left the hospital a bit after 3:00 PM and because I always have trouble finding a ride I had to drive myself but I swear, I was so messed up from the pre-meds I just wanted to go home, crawl into bed and never come out but I had to stop and drop off the urine samples at Quest first. I finally made it home around 4:30 PM, I stripped down to nothing and crawled into bed until 6:00 PM when I had to get up and get dressed for Cameron's Open House at school. I was miserable and I didn't want to go but I had to. I tried to get Drew to go with me but he didn't want to so I went and picked up Cameron at my dad's and just the two of us went. It was only an hour and fifteen minutes but God, it was the most miserably itchy hour and fifteen minutes I've had to endure in my life but I'm a good sport so I put on my happy face and smiled my way through it.

When I got home I fed Cameron dinner, gave him a bath, got him in bed, ate a bowl of soup and crawled my itchy ass into bed.

Oh and to add insult to injury, I have to pack for Drew's trip to the Keys this weekend which is causing big problems between the two of us. It's not my fucking fault that I can't go for fucks sake. I'd go if I could but I CAN'T. I'm not selling him out or "rejecting" him as he insinuates. I can't find anyone to keep Cameron for the weekend and my niece's birthday party is on Sunday. What the fuck does he want me to do?? I don't know but I'm doing my best dammit and that's all I can do. Anyway, the moral of the story is that instead of being nice to each other before he leaves we're apparently going to snap at one another which will accomplish nothing other than once he's gone, I'll be at home all by my lonely licking my wounds while he's in the Keys all by his lonely licking his. Oh well, such is life.

The hives were probably due to the stress from all the shit I dealt with yesterday and I've come to the conclusion that stress is going to kill me long before this fucking disease ever will if I keep letting it eat at me.

Wow, that was one big pity party but fuck it, I am pitying myself. I figure, I'm entitled to every once in a while.

So anyway, I'm still itchy today but it's better (sorta), my mood on the other hand, is not.

I need a hug. Come here...