Ah, life, how sweet it is.

Strep throat AND sun poisening. I'm still contemplating that "why me" thing. And I feel bad, really really bad.

A Meme.

The e-mail variety.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
Well, cause I have that whole miserable strep throat thing going on, I slept a bit later than normal (and was therefore late for work), so I'd say it was about 7:20.

2. How do you like your steak?
Medium Rare.

3. What was the last film you saw at the movie theatre?
The Number 23.

4. What is your favorite TV show?
House MD.

5. What is your middle name?
Dawn, after my mother.

6. What is your favorite cuisine?
Mmm, Mexican, yummy!

7. What foods do you dislike?
Oh, this and that, but I'll be damned if I can arrow in on any right now. Must be the strep... LOL.

8. What are your favorite chips?
Baked Cheetos!

9. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Hmm, as I haven't really been listening to CD's lately, I don't know.

10. What kind of car do you drive?
'02 Ford Explorer.You can see the ass end of it in one of the pics below.

11. What is your favorite sandwich?
Caprese.

12. What characteristics do you despise?
Liars, cheaters, manipulators or anyone that has to put someone else down to feel better about themselves. << Yeah! What Angie said.

13. What are your favorite clothes?
I love capri's.

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation?
Back to where last I went.

15. Favorite brand of clothing?
Don't particularly care as long as it's comfy.

16. Where would you want to retire?
Not here. LOL. But, honestly, I've really never given it any thought.

17. Favorite time of day?
Night time.

18. Where were you born?
Ashland, KY.

19. What is your favorite sport to watch?
None of them.

20. Who do you think will not send this back?
I dunno?

21. Who will send it back first?
Not sure

22. Pepsi or Coke?
Pepsi, the Diet Jazz variety, preferably in Strawberries & Cream.

23. Beavers or Ducks?
Say what? Ah, ducks, I suppose.

24. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Night owl.

25. Pedicure or Manicure?
Pedicure.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
A nurse.

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Not that I didn't have any, but at the moment, I honestly can't recall.

28. Piercings?
Ears, two in each.

29. Ever been to Africa?
Nope, but I imagine it'd be interesting.

30. Ever been toilet papering?
Sure thing.

31. Ever made a crank phone call?
Uh huh.

32. Been in a car accident?
Affirmative.

33. Favorite day of the week?
Saturday.

34. Favorite restaurant?
At the moment, probably Carrabba's.

35. Favorite type of dog?
My little Pugsy, Bugsy.

36. Favorite flower?
Sunflowers.

37. Favorite ice cream?
Ooh, tough one... Barnies Santa's White Christmas Coffee Flavored.

38. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Wendy's.

39. How many times did you fail your drivers test?
Once.

40. From whom did you get your last email?
Nina.

41. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Probably Target or wait, Barnes and Noble.

42. Bedtime?
Anywhere between Midnight and 2 AM.

43. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
Everyone’s responses make me curious.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Mi Madre.

45. What are you listening to right now?
Umm, the delivery guy from Boynton is whistling.

46. What is your favorite color?
Emerald Green.

47. How many tattoos do you have?
Not a one.

48. How many people are you sending this to?
I'll send it back to Ang, but aside from that, no one. I suppose maybe I'll post it on the blog as content filler seeing as I rarely update anymore.

49. Favorite magazine?
Don’t have one.

50. What time did you finish this email?
1:45.

Why me?

Strep throat. Blech, blah, ugh and bloody piss. I feel like death, imagine I look like it too.

No fun. No fun at all.

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words.

So, my weekend, in pictures.

^^ That's Cameron and I, and FYI, that is his FAVORITE ride like ever. LOL.

Fait Accompli.

Sigh. I am in such a mood today, a no good, very bad mood. And I really shouldn‘t be nor should I be the least bit surprised but I seem to be both so there you go.

So, yesterday, someone within close proximity to me happily informed me that they’re pregnant, preggers, knocked up, with child, etc., etc., etc. and, my personal issues with that particular condition aside, that, in and of itself, wasn’t so bad, not really, children are a lovely gift and blah blah blah, but when I consider who this "happy" news came from, it suddenly transforms into some freaky déjà vu-ish nightmare I can’t seem to wake up from.

First (and this probably one of the more cattier problems I have with this whole thing), I resent (very much resent) being put into a position where I’m forced to either lie, pretend ignorance or let my silence take sides because the person in question has decided this “happy” news needs to remain top secret, her mouth to my ear and no further. Oh, I get why she wanted it that way, I don’t suppose anyone likes to have it thrown in their face that what they’ve done is nothing short of a disaster for all involved (even those who don’t wish to be). But to throw this at me was bullshit, straight and utter bullshit because she knows full well that if I did what she asked, it‘d not only mean being dishonest with someone I love and respect but when they found out (and it‘s a given they would) I’d been dishonest, it would hurt them.

Does anyone see my dilemma here?

Second (and more importantly), children are indeed a gift, one of the greatest, but there are some people and some circumstances or situations where having a child isn’t a practical or feasible option and this is one of them. That may sound cold and if it does, I’m sorry, but in this case, it’s true. This person can barely handle the child she’s already been gifted with and financially, she’s so far buried a backhoe couldn’t dig her ass out. And that’s before adding in the secondary player and all the drama that little l'horreur des horreurs will invoke.

So, despite all the stress already circling like a pack of fucking buzzards, guess who’ll be dragged into the middle of this raucous melee? You got it, me. What fun.

Yeah, I know, I know--I’m such an insensitive bitch but I just can’t seem to help myself. Been here, done this, don’t wanna do it again.

A Ha!

I finally got up off my lazy ass and bought a new battery for my cell phone. Since no one save mi familia ever really calls the damn thing I probably would've continued to procrastinate well on into the future but I was getting weary of hearing my mom harp at me constantly, so it's done and I can recommence with the talking.

That's all, carry on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know. I haven't been too good with the whole posting thing lately. Shrug. Happens. Anyway.

You know, I think it's positively amazing that, considering I've completely lost my mind, they still allow me to walk around without any snazzy accessories such as restraints or a nice comfy straightjacket. And I have lost my mind.

For a while now depression has been this nasty little fucker slowly eating away at my insides (and I have a sneaking suspicion it's main hub is located just behind my eyes, if the migraines are any indication) but lately I feel as if we're finally becoming accustomed to each other (which is no doubt due to the fact that, as I stated earlier, I've lost my mind) and I'm not sure if that's a good thing but it's something.

My Cameron is further exacerbating the problem on a couple levels but there's this one that's frustrating and stressful and tiring and I really (really) need to get a handle on it but damned if I can figure out how. And I'll admit, I'm not handling the situation or my baby at all well. Sigh.

At the moment, I'm feeling like a complete failure in just about every aspect of life--from motherhood to my love life to my home life to my work life--all across the board. It's an unpleasant feeling, that, but I'm dealing. I guess.

I've always been a handy sounding board for those around me and that's a fine thing, I'm happy that I can help or comfort or whatever the people I care for but, on the other hand, that particular favor is rarely returned and it's beginning to get a bit crowded in my head just now. And it's partially my fault because I haven't been the most forthcoming with anyone but, in my defense, the few times I did try recently it didn't work out all that well. I'm spilling a tiny bit right now but not nearly all and I'll more than likely continue to keep it to a minimum.

I finally dragged myself out of the doldrums long enough to watch American Idol last night and came to the conclusion that I haven't been missing much. I was sad to see that what's his name, ah, Nick (I think) didn't make it to the Top 12, I liked him and he looked a lot like someone I just can't quite figure out who.

The weekend was blah. My mom and I did more strategizing over the business she's dead set on us starting together and finally came up with a list of supplies we need to order to get things moving. And I really need to get my head out of my ass and find a good web host else the ordering part will be for naught. Drew and I were supposed to go out Saturday night but he ordered a pizza and we laid around watching TV instead. He (Drew) had to work Sunday and he didn't get to spend any time with Cameron so we (Cameron and I) hung out and watched Batman & Robin together. Arnold however the hell you spell his last name was incredibly annoying as Mr. Freeze but I like what's his name (Chris O'Donnell?) as Robin. Oh, and I also called my friendly neighborhood police department Sunday afternoon because one of those ignorant children in my complex shot Cameron in the back with a BB gun. I've come to the conclusion that I don't much like children save mine and a few others.

This week so far has just been tiring. I didn't get home until 8:00 o'clock Monday night and last night, it was coming up on 7:00 when I walked through the door, which isn't too bad, I guess, but I had a pounding headache so I canceled the plans I had with Drew (we were supposed to spend time together last night because we missed Sunday night--he always spends Saturday and Sunday with me and Cameron) and rescheduled for tonight, which, though he insisted it didn’t, pissed Drew off. It was a no win for me. And today’s just starting so hope springs eternal.

And that’s really all I’ve got just now. I hope everyone else is doing just dandy.

Picture Time.

Since I don't particularly have anything interesting to say and I finally cleaned out my digital camera, I figured I'd share. Enjoy.

^^My mom and Cameron just before we all settled down to watch Tomb Raider last Saturday afternoon.

^^ Cameron (same scenario).

^^Ditto.

^^My "I-OWE-YOU". LOL.

^^My Valentines gift from Drew.


^^Ditto.



^^And ditto again.


^^Christie.

^^Drew.

^^Cameron at T.Y. Park.


^^Ditto.



And Mi Madre at T.Y. Park.

Bloody buggering hell.

I'm a right mess this morning. Pinched nerve in my lower back, wrenched shoulder and a banging headache. Ah yes, and my cell phone, the battery is deader than a door nail and since I can't afford to get a new one until Wednesday, I'm cell phone-less at the moment. Sigh. I'm terribly un-amused by it all.

Anyhow, since I did in fact promise someone I'd be better about blogging, here I am. Though, to be honest, I really don't have all that much to say. Life basically just sucks hard lately and unfortunately, it doesn't appear to want to get better.

And it's more than a bit disconcerting how I've come to severely detest something I once positively adored. It's a sad thing, that.

Aside from working, working and more working I haven't been up to much really. Reading, I've done a lot more reading, mainly at night when my body is too tired for anything else but my mind refuses to turn off. I've left the historical genre I was stuck in and moved into the futuristic murder mystery genre by deciding to reread J.D. Robb's "In Death" series, I'm up to book 10 in the series and seeing as I think there are 24 (or so) books in this series, I'm not quite halfway through. Oh, and Drew took me to the movies last Saturday, we saw "The Number 23", I didn't dislike it but I didn't particularly like it either. Meh, it was okay.

Right after I kicked the horrific ear/throat/chest illness that plagued me last week my Cameron picked it up and he wasn't at all happy about it. Poor baby. But he's feeling better this morning. I have to make an appointment for him to see a child psychologist sometime in the next couple weeks and he isn't particularly happy about that either but it has to be done. He pitched a major bitch about seeing his pediatrician a couple weeks ago but we got through it so we'll get through this next bit of blah too.

And that's about it really, it's mainly just working and not much else for me lately.