Aimee's rambling on (and on) again...

Lookie here, it's a two-fer but that's okay because that last entry was B-O-R-I-N-G. I mean, who wants to know that much pointless drivel about moi anyway.

Well, this cold is still kicking my ass and it's a funny thing but when I talk, I sound kind of like a cross between a frog and a deep toned male. It's rather interesting.

I got a note from Cameron's teacher today letting me know that she's set up a parent/teacher conference to discuss Cameron's behavior this Friday at 8:00 AM. And the director of the after-care program at the school also pulled me aside when I came to pick Cameron. Apparently he's been having some behavioral problems during after-care too. I'm not sure why but Cameron's still having trouble adjusting to kindergarten. I have been following Jason's advice with good results -- he always has something good to say about his day but even though he appears to find things that he really enjoys at school he still insists that he hates that school. I'm not quite sure how to get him to tell me "why" he hates that school? The answers he gives me when I pose the quesion are nit-picky (for lack of a better word). For example, "The sink in the bathroom is broken and I can't wash my hands." or "The water fountain spits water and wets my shirt." or "The playground is too small and I don't like to play on it." So, I guess I'll have to wait and see what the teacher has to say on Friday, maybe she has some suggestions on how I can get him to open up to me about what it is that makes him dislike the school so much.

My mom has set up this strange physical therapy type thing that's supposed to help boost the immune system and what-not for Saturday. I'm not sure how I feel about it but I'll go and see what it's all about because it's important to my mom. I don't know why I'm so contrary but I tend to rebel against the unknown even if there's a chance that it'll help me.

Well that's enough rambling from me for one day.

Night.

Sick, tired and bored -- Aimee 1999 through 2004...

It's a nasty, icky, rainy day, I feel like hell and the news depresses me so I pulled out my old calendars that I keep for referencing back to certain events that I need or want to remember for one reason or another. I started in January 1999 and worked my way through to December 2004. Anyway, here's a bunch of boring memories, highlights, etc. of my life that I'm sure you could care less about....

~ February 14, 1999 -- Drew and I got engaged.
~ May 10, 1999 -- My first OB appointment to confirm that I was indeed pregnant. My due date was December 26, 1999.
~ June 14, 1999 -- My first sonogram.
~ June 25, 1999 -- The closing on our condo (our first home together).
~ June 27, 1999 -- The day we were officially married.
~ August 16, 1999 -- My second sonogram.
~ October 24, 1999 -- My baby shower.
~ December 4, 1999 -- Drew and I bought our first Christmas tree together.
~ December 6, 1999 -- My water started leaking.
~ December 7, 1999 -- Went to the hospital because my water started leaking really bad and was sent home by a nasty, mean, wicked nurse who treated me like I was too stupid to realize that my water wasn't leaking (it was).
~ December 8, 1999 -- My labor had to be induced at 6 PM because my water broke (DUH -- I'd been telling them this for 3 days). Cameron was born at 10:07 PM weighing in at 6 lbs., 11 oz., 19 in. There was no Apgar scoring done because they had an emergency in another L/D suite and they left my poor baby to fend for himself in the warming bed. My mom is an M/A and she recognized that something wasn't right about the way Cameron was breathing so she pitched a fit until someone came over to attend to him. He was doing something they later called "singing" due to the fluid trapped in his lungs and the NICU doctor had to be called down to examine him. The NICU doctor gently informed me that Cameron was in bad shape and that they'd have to take him to NICU for observation. They admitted Cameron to NICU for underdeveloped lungs, pneumonia and he had a hole in his heart that hadn't fully closed because he was premature. They would not allow me to touch or hold him.
~ December 9, 1999 -- They put Cameron on a ventilator and told me that if he didn't start fighting the chances of him making it through seriously declined.
~ December 10, 1999 -- I was released from the hospital and they had to restrain Cameron by tying him down because he kept pulling out the ventilator tube. He wasn't doing any better and they started giving him vitamin supplements through an IV on the top of his head.
~ December 11, 1999 -- My mother-in-law cornered me in the NICU waiting room about my lack of emotion. You see, up to that point, I'd been keeping my pain to myself, it was locked up tight and I was fighting it back something fierce. I absolutely refused to break down and I suppose that my lack of emotion gave the impression that I didn't care. God, that was so far from the truth. I cared. I cared so much it was eating me alive inside but they kept telling me that even though I wasn't allowed to have any actual physical contact with Cameron I had to try and be positive when I was allowed to sit with him because any negativity would be bad for him. So I numbed myself to the pain and put on my happy face for him.
~ December 13, 1999 -- Cameron started to make a turn for the better.
~ December 14, 1999 -- They moved Cameron to a regular incubator and for the first time, I was allowed to hold him.
~ December 15, 1999 -- They let me feed him and change his diaper for the first time.
~ December 17, 1999 -- Cameron was circumcised.
~ December 18, 1999 -- Cameron was released from NICU. We were finally able to bring our baby home.
~ January 24, 2000 -- My maternity leave was up and I had to go back to work.
~ April 9, 2000 -- Even though Drew and I had been married since June, this was actually our wedding day. We got married on the garden terrace at Crystal Lake Country Club in front of 100+ of our friends and family. The ceremony was followed by a reception in the ballroom overlooking the garden. It was a really lovely day.
~ April 10 through 15, 1999 -- Our honeymoon. We went to Magic Kingdom, MGM Studios, Islands of Adventure and Sea World.
~ July 26, 2000 -- Drew ran my 1998 Toyota Corolla into a cement light pole. He was okay but the car well, it was a total loss.
~ August 1, 2000 -- Saw Eminem in concert for the first time.
~ October 31, 2000 -- Cut my leg taking out the trash and had to have stitches (as well as go to wound therapy for over a month to heal the damn thing).
~ November 29, 2000 -- We sold our condo.
~ December 3, 2000 -- Cameron's 1st birthday party and because of the size of Drew's family, there were 72 people there (talk about a headache and a half).
~ July 2, 2001 -- Cameron's first day of preschool (he'd previously been watched by his Tia Loida and Abuela Mara but his doctor said that it was nice that he spoke Spanish fluently but it was important that he learn to speak English so we put him in preschool).
~ July 6, 2001 -- Cameron's first trip to the emergency room. He had an ear infection.
~ September 28, 2001 -- Closing on our duplex (our second home together).
~ November 18, 2001 -- Cameron's 2nd trip to the emergency room. He had a bug bite on his knee that got infected and they were concerned about Osteomyelitis so they admitted him and started him on IV antibiotics.
~ November 19, 2001 -- Cameron was discharged from the hospital after his 4th dose of antibiotics was finished.
~ December 7-9, 2001 -- Took Cameron to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party at the Magic Kingdom and Islands of Adventure at Universal Studio's for his 2nd birthday.
~ January 18, 2002 -- Cameron had to have surgery to remove scar tissue that formed underneath the skin after his circumcision.
~ April 1, 2002 -- Started to potty train Cameron.
~ April 15, 2002 -- Met Nora Roberts at a book signing for Three Fates.
~ May 19, 2002 -- X-Files series finale (*sniffle* it done broke my heart).
~ July 27, 2002 -- Bought my '02 Ford Explorer.
~ December 8, 2002 -- Cameron's 3rd birthday party.
~ February 5, 2003 -- Christie found out she was preggers. YAY.
~ March 1, 2003 -- Started setting up my yard, my pool area and the inside of my house for Christie and Chris's wedding (this was a pain in the ass, BTW but it turned out beautiful so it was worth all the work we put into it).
~ March 2, 2003 -- I married Christie and Chris in my yard underneath a beautiful garden arch that my mother-in-law spent hours weaving tulle, white lights, roses and baby's breath through (LOL). The ceremony was followed by a reception that was centrally located on my porch but traveled into my house and out into the yard (where I busted my ass the night before setting up a dance floor made of golf carpet that was lined with globe lights (that were a bitch to find because it wasn't Christmas) and covered with sparkly bride and groom confetti (it looked pretty, if I do say so myself -- LOL).
~ May 24, 2003 -- Tore my plantar fascia and had to go to the ER (that hurts like hell, BTW).
~ May 26, 2003 -- Dr. Clendenning fitted me with an obnoxiously ugly boot, gave me a cortocosterioid injection in my heel (ouch) and prescribed Ambien to help me sleep in an effort to help heal my torn plantar fascia.
~ June 29, 2003 -- My mom and I hosted Christie's baby shower.
~ September 19, 2003 -- Christie's daughter Sarah was delivered through C-section at 10:00 AM.
~ December 7, 2003 -- Cameron's 4th birthday party.
~ March 19, 2004 -- I had to have a mammogram because of a suspicious area in my left breast.
~ April 9, 2004 -- I had to have a breast ultrasound because the mammogram was inconclusive.
~ June 1, 2004 -- I had a needle guided ultrasound to aspirate, biopsy and remove the cyst from my left breast (that's done while you are fully awake and it's quite painful).
~ June 19-21, 2004 -- We (Aimee, Drew, Cameron, Mom, Robin, Christie, Chris, Sarah and Kelly (my other sister) -- just one big happy family) all went to the Magic Kingdom and MGM Studios.
~ September 19, 2004 -- Sarah's 1st birthday party.
~ October 8, 2004 -- Drew and I moved into the townhouse that we currently live in (we're renting for the first time).
~ October 11, 2004 -- Drew and I sold our duplex.
~ October 22-25, 2004 -- My mom and I took Cameron to Georgia (by car) for a family retreat with the Immune Deficiency Foundation. That was Cameron's first time traveling out of the state of Florida.
~ December 11, 2004 -- Cameron's 5th birthday party.

And you all have been with me for most of 2005 so there's really no need to recount all that fun stuff.

So, that's it. Now tell me, who's slipped into a coma from that boring recitation of the last 6 years of my life? It's okay, I nodded off a couple times myself.

Oh and before I scoot on out of here, I just have to say that some people's attitudes disgust me. Whether you were in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida or any other area that Hurricane Katrina affected then my heart aches for you and yours. It's not a pissing contest for pity's sake. Why people feel the need to down talk those whose areas weren't hit as hard is beyond me. This isn't a, "Mine is bigger than yours" contest. Sigh. We should show our love and support for everyone who was affected by Katrina. I know this is out of left field but I just read a bunch of comments on an AOL site where people were jumping all over this man because he shared a photo that he took near his home during Katrina and others felt that he had nerve insinuating that his situation was near the tradgedy that New Orleans is facing. He didn't and he wasn't, he was just sharing a photo -- nothing more, nothing less.

It's sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy headed can't get a freaking break Aimee comin' at ya...

One more hour, you hear? Just one more bloody hour and I can go home, fall face down and cease to do anything for pity's sake, anything. I don't plan to move until tomorrow morning (although I realize that will never happen because I have responsibilities and all but it's a nice fantasy and I'm rolling with it for the moment).

Aimee just don't feel good today and I gotta tell you, it's been one miserabe day for me. Can you tell? I do believe this cold is trying to kill me. Seriously. I've gone from clammy to hot to cold and now I'm back to clammy. I told Angie earlier that I was having hot flashes (and I wasn't kidding). SIGH. And to top it off, I can't breathe, damnit.

Okay, enough of the whining. Sorry.

Angie told me today that she's off to help her brother move and she won't be back until Monday (*frown*). I'm going to miss her SO much. She keeps me sane, you know. And you know what her absence means? You got it, this cranky camper (me) is the only one left 'round here until Monday. But (if this cold doesn't take me out) I'll strive to be full of happiness and light as often as humanly possible (don't go holding your breath now, I'd hate to be responsible for any mishaps) -- no promises, but I'll try.

Well, I have exactly 7 weeks before I have to attend a formal dinner/dance in Miami. My step-father is getting his 40 year union pin and he wants the whole family there. And that means that I have to work extra hard to get to a weight where I feel comfortable wearing formal attire. My mom has this beautiful dress she wants me to wear and although I've lost 16 pounds on South Beach, I've got a ways to go before I feel comfortable in my skin. I make myself sound obese and I'm not but I'm certainly not thin either. It's time to get serious though. No more cheating for me.

Oh well, that's it. I'm down to 30 minutes and counting. Have a lovely night y'all.

Aimee's Entry

Gosh, I've been moody lately, huh? And you know, I had decided that I was going to have a super-dee-duper day just to even out the scales but let me tell you, that didn't happen. It wasn't a bad day, per se, but it certainly wasn't a good one. Sigh. I've been inflicted with some icky, yucky, extremely unpleasant bug. It's SO not nice. Aimee's got a cold people -- a nasty, nasty cold and she's not digging it. Nope, not digging it at all. But you know what? I've decided that I'm just not going to let it bother me, I'm going to ignore this nasty sucker as if it weren't even here (although the migraine is making that a tad difficult at the moment).

Anyhow, moving on...

Well, today happens to be Drew's birthday. So, let's all wish him a happy one, okay? C'mon, say it with me now... Happy Birthday Drew ...he turned a whopping 26 today (so unfair). Cameron picked out a present for him after work and then we picked him up at the tattoo shop and took him out to dinner. After dinner we dropped him off at Gabe's house so he could hang out for a couple hours and Cameron and I headed home.

And did I mention that Cameron's school sent home this fundraiser thing last week? Three weeks in and I'm already knee deep in a fundraiser. It's been a bloody pain in the backside. Seriously.

Oh well, that's about it for me. I feel icky and I should probably crawl my tired behind up the stairs and into bed shortly because if this cold works like my usual ones, I'll feel like utter sludge in the morning. No fun.

Night, night.

Aimee's Entry -- Venting.

Ah, I'm so pissed. Royally pissed. I swear, I hate lying assholes who think that they can keep playing two people against each other by telling lies and creating bullshit stories to turn one against the other without ever getting caught. Reality check -- you'll always get caught you ignorant asshole because regardless of what you think, we're not now nor have we ever been stupid.

I try to be a nice person, honestly, I do but it never ceases to amaze me that no matter how nice I am to people who just don't deserve it and no matter how much shit I put up with from people who do nothing but stab me in the back every time I turn around, it's still not enough. Oh no, they take extra care to make sure they twist the knife in deeper.

Why do I bother? I don't know and pretty soon I'm going to cease to care.

Aimee's keeping her row boat handy...

You see that cute little red circle I've drawn around Coral Springs in Broward County? Well, that's where I currently hang my hat. And further down where I've drawn that black line is where Katrina's eye came ashore. The bitch was supposed to come ashore a bit further north (closer to Ft. Lauderdale) but she kept wobbling to the south as she approached land and instead of directly hitting Broward County she came in right on the line that seperates Broward and Dade. Once she came ashore she continued to jog south causing Dade County to take the brunt of the storm.

We were on the right (or north) side of Katrina which is typically the strongest side of a hurricane but in this case, the left side was actually worse than the right side (hence the reason most of Miami is seriously flooded right now) but it wasn't all a walk in the park around here. Because we were on the right side, we had to deal with some bitchin' wind, some of the gusts were NASTY. I watched this cute little tree in the corner of the little courtyard type thing we have in front of our townhouse bend completely over until it was almost touching the sidewalk, poor little tree, I thought it was a goner (which was a bummer cause it's my favorite tree to hang Christmas lights on) but it held it's ground (as you can see, I did exactly what they tell you not to do and stood outside on my porch while that bitch was passing through).

We had a good amount of rain too but NOTHING like they had in Miami. I had to venture out further than my courtyard to walk the dog around 10 last night because the poor thing was running around here whining like crazy and I got fucking soaked. And that crazy, sideways, I-have-no-fucking-direction type rain isn't any fun, let me tell you and it stings when it slapping at you.

But I think the scariest thing that happened last night was when air got into the garage and blew the door that leads into the house wide open. That scared the hell out of me. They say to keep everything closed up tight during a bad storm because the air pressure can blow out your windows or take off your roof. The roof and windows are in tact but I'll admit, I was slightly freaked out by the door flying open like that. Scary shit.

Today the weather's been a bit loopy -- calm as can be one minute and pouring like a bitch the next (it's pouring like a bitch right now, BTW) but the worst is over and by Monday, this should all be behind us.

So, we're okay but I don't think I'll be putting away my row boat quite yet.

And for those of you who know Veronica (Shorty), she's okay too. I was worried too death about her because she lives in Dade County but she e-mailed me today to let me know she's doing alright. Whew. She wrote... Remember all the hurricane tracking we did together last year?? LOL ... can't believe it's been a year... whew ... Yes V, I certainly do remember (LOL). We had a blast tracking all those bloody hurricanes along with haunting Local 10's website together. I missed that and her this time around.

Angie's Entry - Edited 8/26 1:06 CST

I'm probably safe in assuming that since Aimee hasn't signed in at all this morning, that she either has no power or is row, row, rowing her boat to the highest ground she can find.

If you haven't heard the lastest, here it is:


MSNBC staff and news service reports
Updated: 10:10 a.m. ET Aug. 26, 2005

MIAMI - South Florida woke up Friday to chaos — flooded streets and homes, more than 2 million people without power, and hundreds of traffic lights out of order — after Hurricane Katrina plowed through overnight with wind gusts reaching 92 mph.

Four people were killed and a family of five was missing as Katrina took her time moving out into the Gulf of Mexico. But the coast was hardly clear, with the Florida Panhandle told to expect Katrina to make landfall there as early as Sunday night.

Most businesses and government offices in Miami-Dade and Broward counties were closed Friday, and officials said flooding was still the main concern after the storm dropped up to 11.5 inches in some areas.

“There’s debris, there are tree limbs all over. Traffic lights are out,” Broward County Sheriff Ken Jenne said at a press conference. “Don’t get in your car. Don’t drive unnecessarily. We’re asking people not to go sightseeing.”

Katrina’s plodding pace meant that strong wind and heavy rain would continue to plague the state throughout the day.

Rain fell in horizontal sheets, seas were estimated at 15 feet and sustained winds were measured at 80 mph as the hurricane made landfall Thursday night along the Miami-Dade and Broward line.

Florida Power and Light Co., the main electricity company in the area, said 1.2 million customers, representing 2.4 million people, were without power Friday morning.

Some 11,000 workers were slowly restoring power Friday morning. The outage meant 1,300 traffic lights in the Miami area were not working.

In an oceanfront condominium in Hallandale, Carolyne and Carter McHyman said heavy downpours pelted their windows after the eye passed.

“It’s been horrible,” Carolyne McHyman said. “Basically all our windows are leaking. We just keep mopping up and taping the windows, mopping up and taping again.”

I'm sure Aimee and the fam are ok, but I'll be glad once we hear from her!

Aimee just signed in quick and she and the fam are all ok. She expects everything to be back to normal by Monday, seeing as Miami got the brunt of the storm.

Glad to hear your ok hun!! *kisses and hugs*

Aimee's Entry - Row, row, row your boat...

These trajectory or "projected path" images ususally don't do anything but give me a tickle because they're just so bloody iffy. You know, you've got some weather man on TV drawing a line right through the middle of South Florida but in reality, the storm could land anywhere between Miami and Vero. Iffy. It's great for hype and it certainly boosts the sale of gas, water, canned goods and wood but it gets a tad annoying. Although, I think this one is a pretty straight shot, it's heading straight for Ft. Lauderdale and it doesn't appear to want to change course. We (South Floridians) aren't taking this one too seriously because it's just a Tropical Storm and according to the National Hurricane Center, it shouldn't be greater than a Category 1 Hurricane when it makes landfall. The only thing that makes me weary is that they keep comparing Katrina to Hurricane Irene back in 1999 and that storm was a fucking bitch. Irene produced so much rain, I was ankle deep in water in my own fucking living room. I was 6 months pregnant too and because we were flooding so badly I had to help Drew and my dad move shit around to try and salvage what we could. It was miserable. Hopefully Katrina won't produce as much rain but they're predicting up to 20 inches in some areas, which seriously blows. Oh well, we'll just have to roll (or row -- hee hee) with it.

I have to share something with you all... I had one of those weepy mommy moments last night. My baby lost his first tooth and I cried. It's silly, I know but God, he's growing up on me. It's too fast. Way too fast. And you know, Cameron's really digging the tooth fairy this morning. It was too cute. It was quite comical last night, Drew and I dithering over how much money to put under his pillow. I wanted to put a $5 under his pillow and Drew said, "You can't put a $5 under his pillow every time he looses a tooth Aimee. That's just crazy." He said $1, I put $2.

I'm still not ready to talk about my epiphany because while it made me really think about things and realize that I need to make some changes, it doesn't mean that I'll actually make those changes. I don't think I'm strong enough, honestly. But I will talk about it one of these days because maybe it'll help me put things into a clearer perspective.

Well, we're doing payroll and then I do believe we'll probably call it a day because the weathers getting downright ugly outside.

Have a great day y'all.

Aimee's feeling worn around the edges.

God, I feel like I'm running on nothing but fumes today. I've been dragging since I got up. I wonder if I'm coming down with something? My niece Sarah has strep throat and I was with her on Sunday but I don't think that's what's ailing me because I've had strep before and it's nasty, nasty, nasty. Besides if I get strep with my non-existent immune system, it'll be harder than a bitch to fight off.

Tropical Storm Katrina has become a royal pain in my ass. It sucks. They've closed Broward County schools tomorrow and Friday because we're under a Hurricane Watch and since Drew and I still have to work we had to scramble to figure out where Cameron is going to spend the day tomorrow. And I still have to try and score some water, they were out when I swung through the store earlier. Oh and gas, the line at the gas station was a mile long and since my patience has been nil today, I refused to get in line (sigh), I'm going to try and get gas and water in the morning on the way to work.

On a happy note, I mailed out Angie's presents today. I had a blast trying to figure out what to get her. It's probably weird but I love buying stuff for people I care about.

Well, that's about it for me. It's been a rough day and I'm tired.

Night.

For someone I love...

I had a bad night last night and with it came an epiphany of sorts but I don't want to talk about it. It's kind of like an open wound. It hurts me.

So, I'll turn my thoughts toward someone who means a whole lot to me. Evan, I ache for you, love. I truly do. I'm so extremely sorry. If there's anything you need, just ask and it's yours. Anything, anytime.

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned it's back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump, I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump, I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash, then crash and burn
You're not alone

Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over, you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned it's back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild, wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump, I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash, then crash and burn
You're not alone

Xo,
Aimee

~*~

EDITED: Ah, I just love hurricane season. I told Angie earlier that I was gonna pull out my rowboat, she said not to forget my rain poncho and my cute new hat. LOL.

South Florida Now Under Hurricane Watch
POSTED: 5:51 am EDT August 24, 2005
UPDATED: 11:27 am EDT August 24, 2005

MIAMI -- South Florida is now under a hurricane watch and a tropical storm warning as Tropical Storm Katrina approaches.

The hurricane watch and tropical storm warning area stretches along the east coast of Florida from Vero Beach south to Florida City. A tropical storm watch remains in effect for the middle and upper Florida Keys from west of the 7-Mile Bridge to just south of Florida City.

A hurricane watch means that hurricane conditions are likely within 36 hours. A tropical storm warning means tropical storm conditions are likely within 24 hours.

Katrina is threatening to hit the state as a Hurricane when it makes landfall Friday, the National Hurricane Center said.

The storm is expected to slowly cross the state and could bring a lot of rain to South Florida -- 6 to 12 inches, with isolated maximum amounts of 15 to 20 inches, according to the National Hurricane Center.

At 11 a.m., Katrina was 233 miles east-southeast of South Florida. It is moving to the north-northwest at near 8 mph. Maximum sustained winds are near 40 mph, with gusts reaching 52 mph.

A gradual turn to the northwest at a slightly slower forward speed is expected later today, according to the NHC.

Aimee's vacation play-by-play...

Ang, Tom and Tine... I'm happy you enjoyed the pictures I posted from my Disney trip -- thank you for saying so and for assuring me that I don't look half as awful in them as I thought I did. You're SO sweet to me.

Well, it was nice, just me and my mom letting our hair down and having fun. Needless to say, we had a blast.

Friday... Ah, it was so relaxing, there was no pressure to do anything but just be. I loved it. We left my house a bit after 10 am and since we weren't expected for check-in until 3 pm we just took our time getting there. We stopped in Ft. Pierce on the way and shared a cinnamon roll (anyone who's ever read IPTBS knows all about my love of cinnamon rolls). Mmm, it was yummy (I should probably note that I blew my diet all to hell this weekend). Instead of taking the turnpike to I-4 and getting off near the Disney Resorts we got off early and leisurely drove through Kissimmee. Check-in was a breeze and after we unloaded our stuff we took a bus to the Disney Marketplace and had lunch at someplace called Earl of Sandwich (they make some killer sandwiches) and then we walked over to Downtown Disney's west side and checked to see if we needed to make reservations to eat at Bongo's Cuban Cafe for dinner. We didn't. After we bought a caramel apple and did a bit of shopping we headed back to the hotel to relax for a bit before we got ready for dinner. Around 9 pm we hopped a bus to Downtown Disney and had dinner at Bongo's. I had Ropa Vieja (it was delicious -- YUM) and my mom had the Palomilla steak (it wasn't so delicious -- too tough). After dinner we wandered down to Pleasure Island and walked around for a bit before stopping to get a drink from one of the sidewalk vendors. We both had what they call a 'Screaming Red Head'. Aside from Triple Sec and Banana Liqueur, I have no idea what else was in that drink but 1 was enough to give me the giggles and my mom, oh my God. We were sitting on a bench finishing up our drinks and a girl with a rather enormous backside strolled by and when she got past us my mom blurted out, "Damn, what the hell's that hitting me in the back of my head? Oh shit, it's my ass." Apparently alcohol loosens the tongue. Snort. But after a couple drinks we giggled our way back to the bus and headed back to the hotel where we tumbled into bed.

Saturday... We got up bright and early, got ready and hopped a bus to Epcot. Going to Epcot wasn't in our original plan but I haven't been there since I was 15 and my mom said I had to see it so she bought a One Day Park Hopper Pass so we could go to Epcot before we hit the Magic Kingdom. It was a lot cooler than I remember it. I had a blast traipsing through all the countries and because she was in charge of the camera, I drove my mom crazy with the pictures. We played with the big paper flowers in Mexico, rode the troll ride in Norway, browsed through the Christmas store in Germany, had a glass of Bellini in Italy, Ooed and Aahed over the fountain in France and ate lunch in Canada. And by far the best part of my trip to Epcot was Mickey. Sigh. I got to hug Mickey (*smile*), it's childish I know, but I love that guy and I bought a hat that Angie thinks is cute and Drew made fun of. After we were done in Epcot we hopped a bus to my absolute favorite place in Disney, the Magic Kingdom. Have I ever told you that I'm just a big, overgrown kid? After we made a potty stop, we strolled down Main Street and I gushed childishly over Cinderella's Castle (my favorite part of the Magic Kingdom). They're celebrating Disneyland's 50th Anniversary and in celebration they did the most fantastic thing to the castle. Every time the sun hit the castle, it sparkled. It was beautiful. After I got over my giddy castle worship we headed to Tomorrow Land to ride Space Mountain. My mom was still a bit peeved at Drew because he was being an ass with me on the phone that morning so while we were in line for Space Mountain she blurted out, "You know, every time Drew sits down, he reminds me of that *thing* from Star Wars." Oh. My. God. I do believe I was rendered speechless for a minute and when I managed to find my tongue, the only thing I could come up with was, "Jabba the Hut?" and she said in all innocence, "Oh, is that his name?" LMAO (I should probably note that while I understand exactly what she's talking about, Drew does not look like Jabba the Hut). It started to rain while we were on Space Mountain and by the time we got off and were heading into Fantasy Land, it was fucking pouring so we ducked into the Pooh store to try and wait it out. I bought the second and third of Angie's gifts while I was in there (the first was in Epcot). It was showing no sign of stopping and we had a 6:15 dinner reservation at Tony's Town Tavern on Main Street so we bought rain poncho's and waded our way to the restaurant. After dinner we headed for Frontier Land but stopped in Fantasy Land for a second because I just had to ride, It's A Small World (they revamped that ride, BTW, and it looks great). It was the coolest thing but I'm figuring because of the rain about half the people were gone and there was absolutely no wait for It's A Small World and it was the same for Splash Mountain (which is my favorite ride at the Magic Kingdom). And gosh, I was so proud of my mom because the last time just her and I went to Disney she ended up with her head buried between my breasts during the drop on Splash Mountain and this time well, you could see about a 1/4 of her face, the rest was buried between my breasts of course but we're making progress. After the ride, I bought another little gift for Angie before we headed off to ride Thunder Mountain (my mom's favorite ride). After that we wandered for a bit and then stopped to ride the Haunted Mansion ride on our way back to Main Street (where I bought Angie's last gift) for the fireworks. The fireworks were kickass. When they were done we caught a bus back to the hotel and called it a night.

Sunday... Was another extremely relaxing day. We loaded up the car, had breakfast and wandered around the hotel taking pictures before driving to the Disney Marketplace to have lunch before we hit the road. On the way back we stopped off at my mom's land in Okeechobee and I got to see the house they're in the process of building. Christie met us up there with Sarah and we just hung around together for a bit before hitting the road again.

At approximately 8 pm on Sunday I checked my vacation at the door and stepped back into real life. Sigh. It was fun while it lasted.

I was off on Monday but I had to have my infusion so it was a pretty lousy day. Today is my first day back at work and thus far, it's been a fairly unpleasant day but I figured it would be. And Drew better check his attitude at the door tonight or it could get ugly.

Oh well, I have high hopes for tomorrow.

Angie's Entry

Thanks for posting those pics Aimee - it looks like you had a great time! I can't wait to hear all about it!

So how was everyone's weekend? Good I hope. Mine was quiet.

Friday while I was at work, I was blessed with the opportunity to talk with Pete alone. Nicole was gone at Valleyfair for the day and Jason had gone outside for a smoke and didn't tell me, so when Pete came looking for someone to go outside with, he asked me.

Well, we talked about our weekend plans, the CD signing that Tommy Lee has scheduled for this Thursday (still not sure if I'm going to go, the rules are really strict, we'll see.) and got onto the subject of the Crue concert at the fair this Friday night. I told him have an extra ticket and askedif he'd be interested. He asked how much and I told him $50. But it may be the last time to see all original members performing together. He agreed and told me to ask him again this week.
It would strictly be a friend thing. I didn't ask him cause I wanted more. Honest to God. I have this ticket and I need to find someone to use it or my cousin will kill me.

Katie and I walked, then I went home, made myself dinner then sat down to watch CSI. Have I ever mentioned that I have a serious thing for Gary Dourdan? The guy who plays Warrick Brown? If not or if I have, oh well but he is gorgeous. I think I have a thing for blue eyes. Hm, who'da thunk it?

Saturday Katie and I went over to a friends house, she was having an open house type thing with Pampered Chef (kitchen accessories), Partylite (candles), Mary Kay (make up) and Tastefully Simple (easy to make food and really good too!). Then I went home and did some cleaning that I'd let fall to the way side. I called my cousin to borrow her carpet cleaner since my dog has decided it's fun to pee on my carpet again. But I forgot halfway through the message that she's in Vegas, lucky brat. So carpet cleaning is on hold for a few weeks.

Sunday I went up to a friend of the family's house for her Pampered Chef party, which is always a blast cause of the people she invites. I was sitting listening to the consultant when my phone alerts me of a text message. I silenced my phone and forgot about it until I was on my way home.

I flipped my phone open and hit view. I was dreading a message from dumbfuck, and secretly hoping it was Pete, saying hi. But no it was dumbfuck. He texts me :what gives

Now seeing as I'm driving home, I had a few short responses ready to fire back to him. But in better judgment, decided to wait until I was not in my car to respond.

I got home, let the dog out and settled back into my favorite chair before responding with: Meaning what exactly?

I didn't hear anything back until this morning while I am at work.

Around 9:10, my cell starts ringing. Now the only reason I even look at my cell during the day is because it could be someone important or an emergency. It was dumbfuck calling from home. I silenced my phone 1) because of all the concrete and machines we have, my signal is really crappy and tends to break up really bad. 2) I'm at work, which I'm thinking is where he should be too, and I don't need to have this converasation at 9 am and ruin the rest of my day. Monday's suck enough the way it is.

He leaves a message which goes something like this: You're killin me. I'm gettin ready to head off to work. I'll be done around 6:30 or so. I'll call ya then, seeing as you don't ever call me. Where's the love?

I'm so over this right now. No, I'm over this period. I don't want a relationship with him. Honestly, I don't even want to talk to him. He's just fucked this up so bad at this point.

I told Katie on Friday that he'd be gettin in touch with me this week, cause he wants to make sure he's still going to the concert with me on Friday, and sorry no. I haven't heard boo for over three weeks (I talked to him last on what, the 3rd of this month?) and I'm somehow susposed to just assume that things are fine and dandy? What the fuck ever.

I'm done. So very done. So much for getting what you wish for huh?

I've figured out the person I want but he's got a girlfriend. I don't know that I want him necessarily, well, I did at one point. But he's five years younger than me and he's got a great house in a nice neighborhood, he's got a nice truck, a fun motorcycle a couple of sweet cars and has a good paying job which he actually goes too on a regular basis! And he's like 25! What the fuck is Aaron's problem? *sigh* Nevermind, that was retortical. And why can't Jimmy be older? And havenot been so afraid to start something more with me? I mean I've known him since he was 16 years old! And doesn't that make me sound older than fuckin dirt??

Questions, comments, feedback, kicks in the ass for being a moron?

I'm Back...

And I'm beat but as tired as I am, I certainly had a kickass time. (Warning: I look hideous in all these pictures. Ick.)

Night, night y'all.

Aimee's Entry

Whoo Boy, Aimee's in a BAD fucking mood today. And as much as I'd love to rant about it, I'm not going to because there's really no point in it.

I am most certainly not more interesting than you Angie, my love. Nope, not at all. And I'm sorry that you're having a hard time of it lately. I wish there was something I could do for you babe. *hugs*kisses*. I love you.

... You guys are sly! What sort of "crazy stuff" did you have to hide from Drew?! ...

Well Tom, I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you. Just kidding. But honestly, if I shared half of the "crazy stuff" that Christie and I talk about, I'd need to start a seperate blog and rate that sucker NC17 because it's usually bordering on filthy. But in this instance, it was just Christie trying to explain why me doing something completely off the radar screen is actually a good idea. LOL.

There's this quote by Oscar Wilde, "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself." No truer words. When you deny yourself something that you want, you'll always regret the fact that you didn't have the guts to go after it BUT (there's always a but) sometimes the thing you want is (for whatever reason) unattainable and going after it will only end up causing you pain. Which leads me back to what I asked the other day ... how are you supposed to ever truly know whether or not the grass is greener if you never take the chance and cross over to the other side? ... I guess you've just got to ask yourself... is it worth the risk of pain to find out if the grass is really greener on the other side and if you don't, can you live with the regret?

Well, tomorrow morning at approximately 10 AM, I'm going to load myself into my mothers car (I'll have to drive, of course but that's okay), drive the 3+ hours it takes to get to Orlando and completely turn my mind off for three glorious days. I know that I'll have some rather lovely thoughts about one of you but I'll for sure miss all of you.

Have a great weekend.

Angie's Entry

I should apologize for yesterday's entry huh? Rather immature on my part? Eh, what are ya gonna do about it? Oh well.

I'm in a wierd place right now and I'm none to happy about it. There are so many things I could tell you about, but this entry would go on for days and days. Besides that, Aimee really is much more interesting than I am. Trust me.

So for now I'll leave you with this and maybe type up my week this weekend and post it on Monday.

~ I've had it up to my eyebrows with our HR "director" and his big nosey nose. He's one step away from me punching him in it.

~ MSN is the biggest f*cking thorn in my side and I'm tired of arguing with them about a credit card that they issued a credit to when I've never had a credit card on file with them.

~ If gas prices go up anymore, I may have to stop working. Well, stop working 20 miles from home everyday, which translates into a 45+ mile per day trip. Gas prices are currently $2.59 in the Twin Cities and are predicted to continue going up. I do realize however that I am not the only one suffering from high gas prices, but that's just part of my misery at the moment.

~ Cutting down on the number of cigarettes I smoke in an effort to quit is not as horrible as I thought. I'm doing pretty well.

~ The temp at my part time job must want me to cuss him into the next life cause he just doesn't get the hint that I don't desire nor crave his constant comments/insight/suggestions or his mere presence in my life. I just want him to simply go the F away!!

~ I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to find someone else to go with me to the Crue concert a week from tomorrow since Aaron has not contacted me in almost three weeks now. And no, I have not contacted him - I'm the girl, I'm not susposed to call. Jackass. So I think I'm going to see if Pete is interested in going - just as friends. I think I'd be more "free" to be crazy if I went with him. And if I don't find someone to go, I'm afraid my cousin might kill me since I'm the one who talked her out of letting her 14 year old daughter go. Smooth move Grace. But in all honesty, would take a 14 year old to a Crue show?

So that in a nutshell has been my week. I guess you don't need the rest of the gruesome details that have constituted me wanting to hide under the covers and not come out until a rich, gorgeous man comes to rescue me. If I meet him next week, I may just hide on his tour bus and hope he doesn't mind. Love ya Tommy! Shhhh, don't tell Nikki or Em, I said that, we all know how jealous he can get.

Aimee's Entry - Randomness...

Fuck me, it’s hot today. I swear, if it gets any hotter, I’m afraid I might melt. Literally.

Kim is agitated with me today because I didn’t do my homework assignment. I was supposed to watch some show she likes on TV at 10:00 last night and she was going to quiz me on it today but seeing as how I completely forgot to watch it, that didn’t work out. This is the second week in a row that I’ve forgotten to watch it and she said I better have my ass in front of the TV next Tuesday night or else. She informed me that sadly, I missed a rather dark rendition of ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’. Shucks, I don’t know how I’m gonna live with myself knowing that.

I did watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory last night though and it was pretty good. Johnny Depp is one bad ass man. I loved his portrayal of Willy Wonka. Perfect.

I chatted with Christie online last night and she has it in her head that she’s going to visit all these different places and she wants to drag me along with her. I’m definitely not going to Brazil or the Bahamas but I told her as long as she keeps it within the US, I might take a trip or two with her. It’d probably be really fun. We get into the worst trouble when we’re together.

While we were talking she started making some pretty wild comments and I noticed Drew wandering my way (that always annoys me because sometimes he’ll stand behind me peering over my shoulder like he expects someone to come flying out of the computer screen) and I had to stop her so, hoping she’d remember, I used our old code word for "there’s someone in the room". I closed out the current IM screen, opened a new one and typed...

"Don’t you miss changing diapers?"

And she came back with, "Umm, no Aimee, I still do, remember?"

Fuck. I noticed him getting closer and she was typing again. Ought oh. I was just about to close out the new IM and minimize the screen when she came back with...

"Oh, oh... diapers (LMAO). Yes, aren’t they fucking annoying?"

Whoo. She remembered. Go Christie. I answered, "Mmm Hmm, they certainly are."

We laughed about it when she came to visit me at work today. Gotta love them diapers.

Cameron and I played at the park after work today. It was cute. I (the heroine) was locked in a cage by the vicious evil villain and he (my trusty hero) was sent forth to save me from a life of doom and gloom. He’s so sweet.

Well, that’s about it for today. I’m thinking that I might actually go to bed early tonight so I’m not such a cranky bitch in the morning. We shall see.

Night.

Angie's Entry

That's how I'm feeling today!!


Once more with feeling this time!!

Aimee's Entry - It's all in a name...

Alright, since I hurt g_c's poor eyes the other day, there will be no more sex talk. I absolutely will not tell you about how I backed that ass up last night and slid myself... okay, okay -- I'll stop. (I'm sorry g_c, I had to do it, I couldn't help myself. *wink*).

Anyhoo, moving on...

You're welcome Angie, my love for the gifts. I am happy that they made you happy. I'm just as amazed by your thoughtfulness as you are by mine. The beautiful sunflower you made me for my birthday still gives me the happy's every time I look at it. And now that I know Tigger is your favorite Disney character he just might pay you a visit (I'd come with him but the air fare is a bit steep). I'm glad you liked the card too, I thought it was adorible and you know how I have that thing for cards. I could literally spend hours in a card store just rifling through all the different cards. Weird, I know but what're you gonna do? That's me.

You know, it amuses me how many people butcher the bloody hell out of my name. It's easy-peasy to say, y'all. I swear it is. I know it's spelled funny but there ain't a damn thing unique about the way you pronounce it. I'm not really sure what my parents were thinking when they spelled it that way? Maybe they thought it'd be humorous to watch me struggle to find things with my name printed on them cause let me tell ya, that ain't happening. No way, no how. If I want something with my name printed on it, I have to special order it dammit. And I love those people that pronounce it the fancy french way -- aimée -- because when it's not butchered, it actually sounds really pretty. But sadly, that's not how you pronounce my name. Nope, it's just basic, plain, generic, everyday ole Amy for me. But as ordinary as it's pronounced, I've always loved the meaning, it's pretty. I bet Thaly-Ann knows what it means.

And I swear, I'll never learn my lesson about cavorting around outside of the house in my fucking pajama's. I was wearing my SpongeBob pajama's (which are adorible, BTW) when I went to 7-Eleven last night and I never tie the drawstring on those suckers tight enough. I imagine it was quite comical watching me try to carry a case of Pepsi, a bag of ice and a bottle of water while simultaneously trying to keep my pants from falling down. They didn't hit the floor but it was a close call.

God, I am counting the days until Friday. Seriously. I can't wait. I know it sounds selfish but I need a few days to unwind. There's been too much stuff slapping at me lately and I need a few days to clear my mind before it explodes. In the end, my sister decided not to go with us. Her and my mom are kind of talking to each other again but there's still a lot of unresolved tension between them. It's been hard for me, being in the middle of them because I love them both so much but I had no choice because I'll never choose sides. I can't.

Speaking of that whole dirty mess... thank you Angie for listening to me and not judging. It was a lot to lay at your door and I'm sure that it was something you'd rather not have known but because you love me, you let me get it out. You'll never know how grateful I am for that. It was eating a hole inside me and I felt like I had nowhere to go with it but you never turn me away no matter what I come at you with. Your caring heart and unfaltering support is just a small part of why I love you so much. *Kiss*.

Well, that's about it for me. Have a lovely day, y'all.

P.S. I'm sporting a rather nasty migraine, I think I need someone to kiss it all better. Any volunteers? LOL.

Angie's Entry

This post won't be very long, but I had to tell you guys about the oh-so cute presents I received on Friday when I checked my mail.

Aimee had asked me around Thursday, I believe it was, if I'd checked my mail recently. I told her I had just checked it the morning before and that I would make sure and check it Friday after I got home.

Boy was I surprised to find a box with Aimee's handwriting on it!

So as soon as I set all my other stuff down, I grabbed my box cutter and eagerly opened my box.

It's perplexing to me how she finds the neatest cards. After reading the card with a huge grin on my face, I set it on one of my two bookcases and went back to the box on my dining room table.

Then inside is an adorable little brown bear with an oh-so super cute red hat on with 'Florida' written across the front. I sat him in my hand and told him how cute he was and then set him right next to the card.

My next present was a can/beer/any beverage holder. But not just any can/beer/any beverage holder. Oh no - this one has my all time favorite character on it - that's right campers! TAZ!!! I laughed out loud to no one then showed my dog how cool that was!!

I wish I had a camera phone so I could take pics of them to show you all, but I don't.

So thank you so very much to Aimee for brightening my day and therefore my entire weekend. You never cease to amaze me with your thoughtfullness.

LOVE YA HUN!!

Aimee's Entry - No, no, no...

WARNING: THIS ENTRY IS A SERIOUS CASE OF SEXUAL OVERSHARE!! MEANING IT CONTAINS WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW I'D SUGGEST YOU STOP RIGHT ABOUT HERE...

The following is a list of some serious "no-no's" during playtime in the bedroom (or where ever you're conducting playtime). And I mean it dammit, doing one (or more) of these things during sex is bound to turn your partner off.

1. When your partners back is to you and you know that all they're wanting is to be touched a little before you get down to business, it's never wise to say, "How're you supposed to suck my dick turned that way?" cause it's not going to work out well for your dick -- trust me.

2. When your partner responds to your obnoxious comment with, "Oh, that's really romantic." Just bite your tongue if you can think of nothing better to say than, "Yeah, the stuff you're into is really romantic. What do you want -- a romantic spank?"

3. When your partner expresses that they like to have their hair played with or tugged on a bit, it doesn't mean that they want you to take massive handfuls and proceed to rip it from their scalp.

4. And when your parnter says, "Ouch." because you just about broke their neck while you were trying to rip out clumps of their hair well, it's never wise to respond with, "You're such a baby, I thought you were tougher than that."

5. If getting your dick sucked is the main goal then don't go doing things that you know your partner is going to have a problem with. Such as, continuing to try and shove your dick up their back end after they've told you there will be no sucky-sucky if you do so. And responding with, "Why not? It's your ass." just makes your partner want to strangle you.

6. There's a difference between being dominant and just being an asshole. Really there is and if you can't handle being a Dom and you know that your partner isn't particularly submissive then keep all that D/s stuff away from the bedroom because it's bound to be disastrous.

7. If your nails are like talons, don't try shoving them into any of your partners orifices because that shit hurts for fucks sake.

8. Don't make unneeded comments about the lack of frequency your dick makes contact with your partners mouth before you get your dick in their mouth because it seriously decreases your chances of actually getting your dick where it wants to go.

9. Refer back to #8 when your dick finally makes contact with their mouth.

10. When your partner asks you not to come in their mouth there's more than likely a reason they asked. They weren't trying to be facetious or cruel so it's a pretty good idea if you just go ahead and do what they ask.

All of the above are big time mood killers. Seriously.

Aimee's Entry - The grass is greener...

Angie and I were talking about something last week and she said...

"The grass is always greener on the other side -- until you get there."

In respect to what we were talking about, she's probably right but I'll be damned if I don't want to do it anyway. I mean, how are you supposed to ever truly know whether or not the grass is greener if you never take the chance and cross over to the other side?

And that ^^ ladies and gents is Aimee trying to rationalize something that she wants to do badly but knows there ain't a chance in hell she'll be able to.

Ah well, c'est la vie.

Moving on... I actually slept in this morning. For some reason, I've been getting up early the last few weekends but this morning I just let myself sleep. And it felt fantastic. After I got up and moseyed around the house for a bit, I headed out to my nail appointment and then off to my mom's to spend the rest of the day with her. It was fun. We had lunch and did a bit of shopping. I got a new conditioner for this mass of unruly curls atop my head. I hope it works because they're beginning to annoy me. Ever since I chopped of that extra 12" of hair, the curls have been unmanageable. I guess the extra weight held them in check and when I got rid of it, they sprang to attention and they're obnoxious.

My sister called my mom's cell while we were out and since my mom was otherwise engaged she asked me to answer it. Before I could get a word in my sister said, "Hi mommy." (they're sort of speaking to each other again) and I said, "Hi Christie." and the little snot said, "Oh... it's you. Hi Aimee." We chatted for a minute after that and she explained that she hadn't meant it the way it sounded she was just expecting mom to answer and when I did, it threw her off. I don't know.

I'm home now and there isn't a soul here except Cameron and I. And well Bugsy...



We can't forget him -- he's the baby of the house.

Well, since it's so quiet, I think I might try to finish reading this book I've been trying to read or maybe watch a bit of TV. We'll see.

Aimee's Entry - T.G.I.F. -- Seriously.

My last entry is depressing, looking at it makes me sad and I don't want to be sad.

I had a talk with Cameron this evening and it helped us both a lot but I think I'm going take Jason's advice. I'd already looked into counseling a while back before things got better but didn't follow through with it. And you weren't being bossy Jason, you were just being helpful. Thank you.

On a happy note (for some of you): I added a new chapter (17) of 'It Pays To Be Shai' and I also put up Chapters 13 through 21 of 'The Trouble With Love'. I know that's not what you wanted (I'm sorry Thaly-Ann) but it's all I've got right now.

God, I'm so glad it's Friday, this week seemed endless for some reason and I swear, it was hotter than hell here today. I tried my hardest to stay out of the warehouse because every time I stepped out there for more than a few seconds, I'd sweat my ass off. And I still have this nagging headache that's been plaguing me since yesterday, I sure wish the nasty fucker would go away and leave me alone.

I got my new printer at work today -- YAY -- so that gibberish writing motherfucker that used to grace my desk is toast. After I hooked up the new one, I sat back in giddy delight while that bad boy just spit out page after page. That sucker is fast which makes Aimee very happy.

And Kim wore the cutest darn shoes today, they were these little pink leather heels with white buttons on the top. But apparently they weren't very comfortable because every time she came into my office she was doing some kind of wincing limp. I'm all for cute shoes but pain is no friend of mine, that's why I wear flip flops to work everyday.

I got home a bit late tonight because it's Cameron's weekly sleepover at grandma's so I had to swing by there and when I got here Drew was already home (which was weird because I thought he was working tonight). Anyway, he was in the kitchen making himself something to eat and I called out...

"Hey, you mind fixing me some chicken salad?"

And the smartass called back, "Hey, you mind giving me a blowjob?"

Nice, huh? But he wasn't finished being a smartass.

When I told him I was going up to take a shower he said, "Uh huh. Have fun masturbating."

I just rolled my eyes and said, "What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't say I was going upstairs to masturbate. I said I was going to take a S-H-O-W-E-R."

"Yeah but that's what you do when you go up to take a shower, isn't it?"

"Nuh uh, it is not!!" (well, not everytime anyway)

"Okay..."

"What do you mean, okay?"

"Just what I said, O-K-A-Y."

"Okay?"

"Mm Hm. Okay!"

I was halfway up the stairs when he yelled, "Happy Maturbation."

Sigh. He always has to get in the last word. I should've maturbated just to spite him but really, I was only going upstairs to take a shower.

I've got a song stuck in my head. Don't you hate that? Well I figure since I can't get it out of my head, you should have to suffer too.

Scars by Papa Roach

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't have came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand

Go fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Oh well, that's about it for me today. Happy Friday, y'all.

Aimee

"I wish I were never made."

Oh, how one small statement can break your heart.

Hollow you out, tear you apart.

Please tell mommy what made you feel this way?

And I promise I'll make it go away.

"I hate myself."

You hate yourself? Why?

Oh no please baby, don't cry.

God, where did this come from? What do I do?

Don't you know you're my life, I'd do anything for you.

"I'm just so stupid. I do stupid things."

Oh Cameron, you're the sweetest child I've ever known.

You've given me strength, you've helped me grow.

You are my purpose, the reason I fight.

All you have to do is smile and I know it's alright.

You are my heart, my soul... my everything.

Without you in my life baby, I'd have nothing.

I love you, you are my blessing.

The reason I breathe, my sole purpose for living.

~*~

And I'm feeling lost.

~*~

I edited this because Raph (thank you for your comments *kiss) brought up a good question... "what's going with cam? why does he feel like that?" ...Sigh. I'm not 100% sure because he hasn't made a comment like that in a while and things have gotten better lately. But up until a few months ago, Drew and I were very toxic for each other. It was ugly, we were ugly and sometimes Cameron got caught in the middle of the ugliness we spewed at each other. We'd fight and say hateful things to each other and because we were selfish, we didn't stop to think that what we were doing to each other was hurting Cameron. I depise myself for all the fights he witnessed but I can't go back and change them no matter how bad I want to. It all came to a head one night when we were alone (thankfully) and I told Drew that I wasn't in love with him anymore and I didn't know if I could spend the rest of my life with him. I was ready to walk but he asked me not to, he loved me and he wanted us to try and make it work. I've been with the man since I was 20 and he was 16, he's all I know and maybe it wasn't the best decision because sometimes I know we'd both be so much happier if we weren't together but we decided to try and make it work. It's not perfect but we've been doing okay. When we feel the need to be ugly with each other now, we take it out of the house and away from those we love. Cameron has been extremely happy since we quit publicly hurting each other but I think the fact that he's not adjusting well to kindergarten has stirred up some of those old feelings he was harboring. I love that kid more than anything in the world and I have to fix this. I have to.

Aimee's Entry - Open Mouth, Insert Foot.

Fuck. I woke up with the nastiest headache this morning and the massive amounts of caffiene I'm consuming aren't knocking that bad boy out. Ouch. And I'm tired. A nap would be lovely but that's not gonna happen.

You know, when I love someone, I'll do anything for them -- seriously -- even if it's just listening. I'll do whatever I can to be there for them but I swear sometimes someone I love will come at me with the most convoluted stuff and then I'm struck with, "Oh fuck me, what the hell am I supposed to say here?"

My sister, Christie (with whom I love immensely) had been dating this guy (we'll call him DR), for about 6 months and then things turned a bit ugly and it all fell apart. DR is 13 years older than Christie which meant nothing to her but it always seemed to bother him and on top of the age difference, he's extremely commitment phobic. Apparently he's never had a relationship with anyone that lasted more than 6 months.

I don't know, I had serious misgivings about their relationship from the beginning because she'd just seperated from her husband, they were in the middle of talking divorce and in my opinion, it just wasn't the right time for her to be getting involved with anyone. But she did get involved and she fell HARD. He didn't reciprocate, at least not in the way she wanted. Not to say that he didn't love her, I think he did but not in that whole ...let's get married, have kids and spend our lives together... kind of way, you know. Personally, I think he was fascinated that someone so young and beautiful (because Christie is extremely beautiful -- and I cry foul over that, why'd she get all the good genes, LOL) would be interested in him and he fell in love with that more than with her (if that make sense). Anyway, when he wouldn't commit things started to unravel and eventually just fell apart completely.

Since they've split, she's done some not-so-smart things -- going to places she knows he goes in hopes of running into him, trying to date his roommate, sending him very emotional e-mails, allowing him to use her for sex -- but the IM conversation she threw at me last night tossed me completely off kilter. God.

An IM pops up from Christie without warning or easing me into the conversation, mind you, "I think DR's bisexual."

WTF?, "Huh?"

"Oh my God, I was talking to friends at work and they all agree, he's bisexual. He is. Oh God, I feel sick."

I wasn't very quick on my toes, "Huh?"

"What if he gave me something, Aimee? I need to go to the doctor. I can't believe he'd do this to me."

Well hell, color me stupid but I needed to catch up for pity's sake, I was still trying to figure out how she came to the conclusion that he's bisexual, "Okay, slow down Chris cause you've lost me here. Why do you think he's bisexual?"

"Aimee, it just makes sense. He's so comfortable with guys. Girls, not so much. I mean, he's always around them, spending time with them, hanging out with them, he LIVES with one. God, if he gave me something... It's gross, huh?"

And after all that me, the supportive friend, sister and confidant could come up with nothing to comfort her but... wait for it, it's brilliant, "What's gross?"

Sigh. I'm not usually so, umm, slow on the uptake but I was having a bit of trouble keeping up with this one.

"His being bisexual!"

Ah, that. Well, what was I supposed to say to that, huh? I wanted to be supportive and all because I love her too death but if I answered honestly, she'd probably get pissed. It's funny but we're completely night and day when it comes to how we view things. Sometimes, I think that aside from my dad, I'm the only one in my family that was blessed with an open mind. In the end, I went with honesty.

"No Christie, I don't think being bisexual is gross BUT, if he is and he didn't tell you, well then, that's extremely fucked up."

She immediately signed off after I made that statement and I wanted to smack my head into the desk for fucking that one up. So you see, I was busy kicking my own ass for hurting her when she called and said she got booted offline and couldn't sign back on. She didn't mention what I said on the phone and when she did sign back on, she didn't bring the bisexual thing back up again so I'm assuming she didn't like my answer.

I feel really bad about not giving her the answer that she wanted but the answer she wanted goes against how I feel, ya know? And now I'm feeling like a selfish bitch for not agreeing with her to try and calm her down. I'm thinking all she wanted was a 'Trash DR' fest and I didn't deliver. Sigh. Aimee done fucked that one up.

Aimee's Entry - The Kindergarten Blues...

Alright, I expect everyone to address me as 'Mrs. Wingfield' from here on out. Since I feel like I'm supervising a bunch of rowdy high schoolers, I might as well be addressed properly, eh?

Sigh.

I walked in the back to put my water in the refridgerator this morning and there's a fucking combination lock screwed into the freezer. I stroll on over and there are two post-it notes stuck to the fridge...

#1... No more free food assholes.

and

#2... Ha Ha. No more free food assholes and that food you stole had ass on it.

Gotta love these guys, eh? But personally, I would've been a bit more creative but, meh, that's me.

Anyhow, it's been a trying week for me and my baby. He's having a bit of trouble adjusting to kindergarten and I think it hurts me just as much as it hurts him. It's been rough.

Day 1 was bad. Cameron's teacher told me that he had a breakdown in the cafeteria because he got freaked out in the lunch line. They made him to do everything all by his lonely, you know... get the the tray, choose what he wants to eat, pay and carry it to the table. He's not used to doing that and I guess they won't help them because they need to learn to be independent. But God, he's so little. She said he cried for his mommy for a long time. It broke my heart and I decided that he'll never, ever have to go through the lunch line again if he doesn't want to (which is probably not the right way to handle it but I can't take seeing him upset over something I can fix with a boxed lunch from home).

Day 2 started out bad but according to his teacher, it smoothed out and went well. When you drop kindergarteners off at school, they're not allowed to sit in their classroom hallway like the rest of the grades. They have to go to the cafeteria and wait until the first bell rings. Well, the cafeteria was obnoxious when we walked through it yesterday morning. They have breakfast and there were kids running all over the place. It freaked Cameron out because there were too many people and they don't have a specific place that the kindergarteners sit, it's just sit where ever the hell you can find a seat. He started crying and told me that he was going to get lost and then no one would help him. It was awful and I know I'm too soft-hearted sometimes but I went and sat in the hallway outside his classroom with him until the bell rang which made me an hour late for work, sigh, but what else was I supposed to do?

Day 3... My father doesn't work so I pleaded my case and he offered to take Cameron to school for me in the mornings. Thank you God because I was an hour and a half late on Monday and an hour late on Tuesday. The people I work for are wonderful to me because they love me but I don't like abusing their understanding and love, you know? Well, my dad called at 9 and said that everything went perfectly. No problems. YAY. So, we're getting there.

Keep your fingers crossed that tomorrow goes as smoothly.

Aimee's Entry - A Quickie...

Today was obnoxiously busy at work and I didn't have time to do much of anything except well, work. Blah.

3 things...

1... When I got to work this morning there was a box on my desk from one of my absolute favorite people. 'Twas my birthday present. Ah Angie, I love the yummy vanilla sugar lip balm and you know my obsession with post-it notes, the A's were so adorible and you sent me your angel (is that the one I sent you?), that was incredibly sweet but the sweetest thing was the symbolism of the gift you made me -- you sent me sunflowers. It made me weepy (a good weepy) and after I read your card, I full on cried (a good cry). Thank you for everything. I love you, you know that, right?

2... I didn't punk out on getting my tattoo last night. Not at all. Gabe got overbooked. Gabe's a friend of Drew's and because he is, he basically does our tattoo's for free but he's not independent, he works for someone else and when clients are booked where he works, they come first. So, we're doing it another night probably after my trip to Disney.

3... We updated our site today. I say "we" because ironically Angie I both updated on the same day. I don't think that's ever happened. As for my part well, umm, (crawls under desk) it's not fanfiction. I'm sorry, I just can't do it right now. So, I offer you sex... from my mind to yours. But all is not lost on the fanfiction front. Oh no, the gorgeously sexy woman that is Angie put up the remaining chapters of 'K & K' as well as the first 10 chapters of 'K & M'. She rocks, don't she? You might maybe wanna sign the guestbook or e-mail her to tell her so. We like the love, we're silly that way (LOL).

Say a little prayer for me...

I see you (see what happens when I get bored)...



Alright y'all... cross your fingers, your toes and pray to whatever you can think of that I don't punk the fuck out tonight...

Angie says I'll be fine but I have my doubts.

Wish me luck.

Oh and here's pictures from this morning just before I sent my baby off to school...



I look like a rather large house in this picture and I kinda look trollish or something. I don't know. One day I'll take a decent picture and post it cause that one is icky but Cameron looks cute so that's okay...



He's so darn cute...

Aimee's Entry - All this excitement just might kill me...

^^^ That was sarcasm, BTW.

I should probably be in bed. It’s past midnight and I have to get up a bit earlier tomorrow because it’s Cameron’s first day of school but I’m not particularly tired. Sigh. I hate that.

Oh well.

God, I had such an icky weekend. I was in a complete funk the whole time. Let’s see...

Friday night I just sat around feeling sorry for myself. I hate family drama and no matter how calm the waters may seem there’s always something brewing just beneath the surface and it’s usually not pretty. In this case, it’s ugly, really ugly. I have some fairly nasty skeletons hiding in my closet and just when you think you’ve moved past all the hurt and all the pain, they pop back out to show you that no matter what you do, you’ll never quite escape them completely. Life just doesn’t work that way I suppose.

Saturday, well, I didn’t do much of anything during the day except repeat Friday’s moping session and spend some time with Cameron. I love spending time with Cameron. You know, I may not be the best mother in the world but I think I’m doing okay. He loves me and I suppose when all is said and done, that’s all that matters.

Saturday night I packed Cameron in the car and met my mother at Cracker Barrel. It was fun, we had a nice dinner together and looked at all the early Halloween stuff they had out. From there we headed to Walmart (which is probably my least favorite place in the world) because my mother wanted to buy Cameron a body board. I bought myself some Spongebob pajama’s (I have a slightly weird obsession with pajama’s – I love them), I don’t think Drew was very happy about it but fuck it, I rarely buy myself anything so he’ll just have to deal with it. After Walmart, my mom took Cameron home with her for a sleep over and I headed home all by my lonely.

Today I slept in because I was feeling lazy and then I got up and dragged Drew to the open house at Cameron’s new school. After the open house, we stopped at Barnes and Noble and I bought Drew a couple graphic novels with my birthday gift certificates and then we went to lunch at the Macaroni Grill. I was a good girl too and had a salad even thought I really didn’t want to.

Gabe called Drew while we were out and after they hung up Drew told me that he was going to have Gabe come to the house tonight and do my tattoo as a birthday present but Gabe wants me to come into the shop tomorrow after I get off work instead. So I guess I’m getting a tattoo tomorrow. Drew showed me the design for my tattoo that he gave Gabe and it’s really cool. If it comes out, I’ll take some pictures.

When we came home Drew went his way and I went mine. I had to get Cameron’s room in some kind of order so I spent a few hours up there rearranging things and then I laid down on his bed and watched a movie on HBO. I don’t know what it was called but it was a kick ass movie. When I came back downstairs, Drew said he had to go out for a bit so I went back up and did some more domestic chores (have I ever mentioned how much I hate them?).

I did laundry (ick), vacuuming (ick), dusting (ick) and after dinner I played the dutiful wife and washed the dishes (double ick) where I managed to burn myself on a pot and cut my finger with a knife. I don’t think I’m cut out for this whole wife thing, I don’t even know how to cook. Oh well. After all that fun stuff, I went to the grocery store. I hate going to the grocery store.

So, that was my weekend. Boring, I know but what am I gonna do? That’s my life in a nutshell.

And I didn’t even get to kiss anybody (LOL).

Your Lips On Mine...

I'm amusing myself and I'm taking all of you along for the ride...

~*~

Why I Love to Kiss...

Your lips brush against mine and your top lip catches on my bottom. I trace my tongue over the curve as you pull my bottom lip into the warmth of your mouth and suckle softly.

Mmm, it feels so good.

You release my bottom lip, laving it with your tongue and move up to cover my mouth with yours. Your lips are soft and wet – supple – and I love the feel of them pressed against mine.

You coax my lips apart by running your tongue teasingly between them and I lean in, pressing my body against yours.

Our tongues touch... tentatively at first, subtly exploring textures and then more insistently... our tongues wrap around one another.

The feeling is exquisite and I begin to purr, the sound reverberating through your mouth as our tongues continue to press and slide together.

Oh, it’s so blissful... your mouth and mine fused together, our tongues engaged in an erotic embrace.

I don’t ever want it to end...

~*~

Sigh. I wanna kiss somebody, it’s been so long.

~ Aimee ~

Aimee - I'm bored again (and it's only 12:00 -- sigh)...

Note: I moved my first post from yesterday back to the top because the other was a bit depressing. I'm still feeling out of sync but it's better. Thanks for the e-mail last night Thaly-Ann, I'm sorry that I missed you. Tine, thank you for the comment you left, it made me smile. And Evan (one of my favorite people), thank you so much, baby.




Isn't he the cutest?? Of course, he is... he's mine.

Anyhow, here's some more useless info (again, in no particular order) about me that will more than likely knock you into a coma...

51. Have I ever mentioned that I can't see more than 5 feet in front of me?

52. I wear glasses to correct that problem. Dorky, I know but me and contact lenses are not the best of friends. But I do have those too.

53. I wear a toe ring cause I think they're absolutely adorible. But they fucking hurt when you're wearing sneakers. Ouch.

54. My favorite color is green... the darker the better.

55. I lost my virginity when I was 16 in the front seat of some guys car. It was such a bad experience, I was determined to never do it again.

56. Obviously that didn't happen.

57. I'm loyal to a fault but if you fuck me over, I can be the biggest bitch you'll ever come across.

58. I'm extremely shy unless I'm comfortable with you. And then watch out because I rarely sensor what I say with someone I'm comfortable with (just ask Angie).

59. I'm a fairly friendly person (though I have my moments). But I was hurt very, very badly by someone I considered a friend less than a year ago and it made me weary of getting too close to people.

60. So if I let you get close, please don't hurt me. I don't know if my heart can take it again.

61. Yes, you're right. I'm way too sensitive. I can't help it.

62. I'm fairly decent at writing erotica but I'm not so hot when it comes to poetry.

63. That doesn't stop me from writing it, mind you.

64. I had my tonsils removed when I was 16. It hurt like a motherfucker.

65. I also had a tumor removed from my right breast the same year and another one removed from my left breast last June.

66. Cancer runs through my family (on both sides) like wild fire and that scares the fuck out of me.

67. Scary movies fuck with me. I have to sleep with the lights on after I watch one or I'll be plagued by nightmares.

68. Yep, you got it, I'm a wimp.

69. I recently discovered I like to have my hair played with more than getting my back massaged.

70. Tug, pull, rub or scratch and I'll probably start purring.

71. I dyed my hair red when I was 19.

72. It didn't work out. At all.

73. As long as I can remember, I've always wanted a houseful of children but that wasn't to be.

74. And I'm perfectly okay with that because Cameron's all I need to make me happy.

75. From the first contraction (pitocin induced) to the last push, it took me 3 hours and 37 minutes to deliver Cameron.

76. He was born 4 weeks early and spent 10 days in NICU.

77. His lungs were underdeveloped, he had pneumonia and a hole in his heart. Because of all that, he was considered a low stim baby and I wasn't allowed to touch or hold him until he was 6 days old.

78. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to face.

79. I hate mornings. Hate, hate, hate them. They're the enemy.

80. So needless to say, I'm not pleasant for the first couple hours after I get up.

81. I'm a hopeless romantic who believes in happily ever after and all that sappy stuff.

82. Although I've never bought into that "one true love" scenario.

83. But I do believe that certain people are just meant to be a part of each others lives. You know... destiny, fate, karma, kismet, serendipity and all that.

84. I'm fairly sure that I sound hideous when I sing.

85. But I spent 4 years as a soprano in chorus.

86. I dated someone that I met online for all of 2 months.

87. It was a horrible experience... he was a complete asshole and a lousy lay.

88. When I was 20, I was a nanny for a set of twins. I got trashed with their mother and her boyfriend one night and well, we had a bit of fun.

89. Amazingly, I didn't get fired. Oh, stop looking at me like that. They're the ones who got me drunk not the other way around.

90. That's just one example of why Aimee can't be left unsupervised around alcohol.

91. I was the Vice President of the Ecology Club in high school but I wasn't a very good one.

92. Why, you ask? Well, I jumped out of a canoe into the Loxahatchee River during a canoe trip because a spider landed on my leg. Spiders? Gators? Apparently I'd rather swim with the gators.

93. I got married at Soldiers of the Cross of Christ in Miami in front of about 70 people when I was 3 months pregnant.

94. But apparently I'm fickle because I did it again under a gazebo on the garden terrace at Crystal Lake Country Club in front of over a 100 people when Cameron was 4 months old.

95. Because Cameron was taken care of by his tía Loida and abuela Mara while I worked, he didn't start to speak english until he was 2 years old.

96. His first word was "agua".

97.Except for the eyes (his are more moss green, mine lean towards aqua), Cameron and I are carbon copies of each other (in attitude too).

98. I'm not overly religious. I believe in God but I don't go to church nor would I ever force my child to.

99. But my in-laws are VERY religious. They're Seventh Day Adventist Missionaries and they push religion BIG time. I respect their beliefs but it doesn't affect the way I live my life.

100. Today, August 5th 2005, is Cameron's last day of pre-school. It's off to kindergarten Monday. I've got butterflies.

Now, I'm off to find something else to entertain myself with.

P.S. Have I ever mentioned how absent minded I can be sometimes? I bought a card for someone that I was supposed to mail right away or else they'd never get it. Well, I just flipped to the back of my calendar to look up a phone number I have jotted back there and guess what I found? Yep, the card is still where I stuck it 3 weeks ago. One day I'll get it together, I swear I will.

Another P.S. My sister stopped by for a visit a bit ago and I'm so envious, she has the most beautiful eyes. Sigh. They're such a beautiful shade of blue. Lucky bitch. Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely adore blue eyes, they're just so gorgeous (And, mmm, men with blue eyes make me tingly).