And it's out! Today even!

And because I adore all the lovely ladies involved, myself included, I shall climb out from under my rock long enough to tell you about it.



“Secret Thoughts: Erotique”
Genre: Erotica
ISBN: 1-59998-492-X
Length: Novella
Price: $3.50
Publication Date: January 30, 2007
Cover art by Scott Carpenter

Domination or submission? Ménage a trois or man on man? What about voyeurism? A tease? A taste? Sink your teeth into this collection of erotica short stories from six top erotic storytellers.

Everyone has them. Those secret thoughts that bring forth your hottest dreams and desires. The ones you don’t share, the ones that make your heart pound and your blood heat.

What do you fantasize about? In the Secret Thoughts: Erotique collection, you’ll find all sorts of deliciously erotic scenes from the naughty minds of Beth Williamson, J.J. Massa, Laura Bacchi, Nix Winter, Sasha White, and S. Desires.

Now, be a pal and go get it (*grin*).

Like Duh!

There are times I'd almost swear that I'm an idiot of astronomical proportions. I really need to start paying attention to shit then maybe I wouldn't go screwing up shit only an idiot could screw up. God save me from my own stupidity.

I'm having a pisser of a week and it's only half done. And I still have a fucking headache, I'm beginning to think it's terminal.

Sigh.

Meh.

I have the absolute worst headache EVER. Seriously. It hurts me. And I'm tired.

Blah.

TMI Tuesday.

As you can see, I'm back to avoiding life again. Anyhow...

Their #67, My 2nd.

1. What is a creampie?

Where, oh, where has my wittiness gone? Hmm. Any porn connoisseurs in the audience? Yes, well then, no further explanation needed. Heh.

2. Once a cheater, always a cheater. True or false... why?

Is there really no forgiveness in the world? Sigh. Cheating, as distasteful as it is to some, isn't all black and white, there's a whole bloody rainbow in between. The when's, where's, why's and how's aren't going to be the same for anyone, so to say "once a cheater, always a cheater" wouldn't exactly be fair, would it? Nope. I'm gonna have to go with false on this one.

3. Where is the female G spot and how do you find it?

As I've yet to actually find that mystical little spot, I couldn't really tell you and (from what I hear) mores the pity on that one.

4. Is there a correlation between shoe size and penis size?

Ah, with the limited number of lovers I've had my expertise in this area would definitely be called into question, but I'd have to say, nah.

5. Can women have wet dreams?

Because they typically always wake me, I can honestly say that I've had some incredible orgasms during sleep (that's not to say that the waking ones aren't just as incredible), so yeah, I have dreams and they quite often make me wet, but whether or not they're "wet dreams" I couldn't say.

Bonus (as in optional): Take a wild guess, how many calories are in a man's average ejaculation? (no cheating and looking that shit up!) haha

I have no clue, but for such a yummy treat why worry about a few extra calories?

Confessional.

Take a stroll through this list and add up the fines for the sins in which you've committed. Me, I went ahead and bolded mine but, you don't have to confess which ones you've committed, that is unless, of course, you're wanting to.

Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

Grand Total: $435.60

Negativity Reigns Supreme.

My sweet Cameron is feeling a bit down these days and I'm not much liking it. Sigh.

I neglected to mention this when it happened cause, well, I dunno, just forgot, I guess, but as of this past Sunday, his beloved skate park is no more, they've closed their doors and he's terribly upset by this (I suspect that Drew is too, but he's much better at masking it). So, there's been a good amount of comforting going on this week.

It's hard to explain, but Cameron is mourning, and in an odd way, I understand. It was more than just a skate park to him, it was the people, like "Uncle" Mike who took time every Sunday to try and teach him a new trick or help him master one he hadn't quite gotten yet and Brian who made him feel special by always writing cool things like "King Cameron can do anything" on his wrist band and of course, Drew and all the times they spent there together just hanging out and eating wings and pizza and skating and playing video games. And he feels like he's losing those people and all those special moments he made there. It breaks my heart.

And I know he'll be okay, it's just going to take a bit for him to figure out that, though the skate park is gone, these people he's grown to love are still there and they still wanna hang with "Killa Cam". But, in the meantime, his hurting hurts me and I hate it.

Cause I'm a fricken' dork...

I (heart) this song!!



Okay, carry on...

It's been brought to my attention...

...that I'm being entirely too negative these days and, instead of fixating on the negatives, why don't I try focusing a bit more on the positives.

Okee dokee, here goes...

Positive Point #1: I did not harm (physically or verbally) my father in any way after, having noticed they were missing, I asked him where the bag of Nestles Mint Swirl Morsels (you know, the ones they only sell around the holidays) that I bought and have been saving so I could make something special for someone, and he told me he'd eaten a good half the bag the other night cause he had a sweet tooth and the rest were in a ziplock in his nightstand drawer (though, I will admit, it was a close call on that one).

Positive Point #2: I stopped myself from writing a completely catty post after I discovered that tweedle dee and tweedle dumb had taken it upon themselves to try and "out" me (or more clearly, expose my true identity in places where I'm only known by the pen name I write erotica under) by dropping my real name in a place they shouldn't. No, instead, I've started dropping my name myself, fuck them, they can eat me (Eh, wait, maybe not... *shudder*). Wait, now that I think about it, that's not positive, writing the catty post would've been positive. Ah well, next...

Positive Point #3: In less than two weeks, I will make my official debut as a published erotica writer. How cool is that?

Positive Point #4: I got to e-mail chat for a bit with my love (my favorite stuffed animals namesake) on Monday and that was a very lovely thing, made me happy.

Positive Point #5: Drew is taking me on a real live date Friday night as opposed to our typical hasty dinner followed by fantastic yet hurried sex on some random week night after work.

So see, no worries, I am positively positive (mostly).

TMI Tuesday.

Their #66 (Best of), My First.

1. What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?

Gods I honestly have no idea. My most recent "first" date wasn't your typical first date and the one before that was, oh, 'bout 9 years or so ago.

2. Pick an animal that best displays your personality.

I'm kinda like a kitty, if you pet me just right, I will purr.

3. If your S.O. stopped having sex with you, how long would you stay?

Drew and I have actually tested that theory a time or two (or three or...) so I can honestly say, a long motherfucking time.

4. Are you more passive or aggressive when the relationship becomes physical?

A bit of both, depends on my mood really.

5. Have you ever been INSIDE a store that sold adult themed toys and videos?

Of course I have (many, many, many times). Matter of fact, when you request the ladies room key at Adult Video Warehouse it comes attached to this sexy little red leather flogger that makes my, ah, tummy tingle.

Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?

Percentage? I have no earthly idea, but I'm figuring it's not very high, at least on the female side of the equation. We (or at least me and a good majority of the women I know) have this whole problem with letting our emotions get involved. I've tried the whole sex for the sake of sex thing (granted only once, but still...) and it just didn't do it for me, and I don't know, the whole "friends with benefits" has too high a stickiness factor for me. As for men, dunno, I'm not one, so I couldn't clearly say.

Why, oh, why...

...would they butcher Hinder's song that way? Why?!?!? I ask.

You know, there are just some songs that country artists should leave well enough alone. Sigh.

Harrumph.

So, I was passing my sweet, sweet Cameron his PJ's so he could go get ready for nighty night and I smiled at him (as I'm wont to do), and do you know what the little monster said to me? No, of course you don't. Well...

He: What are you laughing at?

Me: I'm not laughing, Cameron, I smiled, but...

He: Yeah, the creepy smile.

Ahhh, isn't he great? Yes, yes he is (even if he does think I have a "creepy" smile--LOL).

P.S. He was kind enough to demonstrate the "creepy" smile and it doesn't look like any smile I've ever smiled, but what do I know?

*Smile*

Heh.

Hmm, perhaps...

Compliments of Drew...


You are:

Catwoman

With a troubled past and an upbringing on the streets you have learned how to fend for yourself through crime.

Catwoman -- 56%
Kingpin -- 54%
Apocalypse -- 50%
Dr. Doom -- 50%
Mystique -- 48%
Green Goblin -- 48%
Lex Luthor -- 45%
Venom -- 42%
Poison Ivy -- 40%
Dark Phoenix -- 40%
Two-Face -- 40%
Magneto -- 39%
The Joker -- 35%
Mr. Freeze -- 35%
Riddler -- 35%
Juggernaut -- 32%


Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

All I want(ed) for Christmas...

The delectable and always delightful, Nina (who also happens to be one of my most treasured friends), tagged me with this meme and because I love her most incredibly, I shall do it with nary a complaint.

First the rules:

Players start by listing three things he/she got for Christmas.
Then they list three things they definitely did not want to get for Christmas.
Then he/she tags five friends and lists their names.
The ones who get tagged write on their blogs about their Christmas wishes, and state the rules clearly.
Then tag five more victims.
Etc. Etc. Etc.

Three Things I Got:

1. A 20" TV for my bedroom (YAY!).

2. A sexy little DVD Player for all those movies I've been letting collect dust.

3. Tommy Girl by Tommy Hilfiger (Mm, smells so yummy, lately, I've randomly felt the urge to lick myself--LOL).

Things I didn’t want to get:

Well, due to financial issues across the board this year, it was a very light Christmas for us, so gifts were somewhat sparse, and I can honestly say there isn't one thing I got that I didn't want.


I hate (hate, hate) tagging people, so I'm not gonna do it, but if you find yourself wanting to do it, let me know, I'd love to see your answers.

Seriously!

Click here to get your free text scroller.

It is currently...

54 degrees outside and by 7:00 AM, it'll be a nippy 47. Know what that means, folks? Hell has finally frozen over.

Okay, maybe not, but it's been hitting the mid 80's every bloody day and it's hot and humid and miserable and bah... I hate Florida, the weather sucks.

Don'tcha just love...

When your veins decide to play a little game of "hide and seek"? Nah, me neither.

And I'm sporting three others that aren't near as pretty nor as painful as this one.

Ah, what fun.

Life: The Final Frontier.

And I gotta tell you, I find myself terribly unamused with it just now.

I'd rather love to say I'm just coasting along, feeling nothing and all that noise, but that's not exactly true, I'm feeling all kinds of things, just none of them good.

Right now, life fucking blows on pretty much all levels. And I'm trying very hard to remain positive, but it's hard because it just doesn't appear that things are going to get better anytime soon. And why is that, you think? What awful thing did I do in life to deserve all this stress and hurt and uncertainty and meh, whatever, no use complaining, it doesn't fix anything.

So, that's where I'm at--mastering the skill of avoidance and cleverly dodging any mention of life's less than steller moments through endless memes, pointless photos and other random silly shit.

Here's hoping your life's running a bit more smoothly than mine.

Distention Amongst the Ranks...

Is rarely, if ever, a good thing.

And that's all I'm going to say about that.

*SIGH*

Holidays 2006

New Years Eve 2006
Originally uploaded by Reality In Dreams.

I've had a couple e-mails recently inquiring about the holidays and I guess I did neglect to mention how they went and all that.

They were very, very good!

Christmas went off without a hitch. I got my new TV and DVD player from Drew plus some other goodies from family and friends (perfume, clothes, DVD's, gift cards, etc.). Due to my ban on toys this year, Cameron got lots of board games, DVD's and clothes (sadly, this ban of mine caused other children to suffer the same "No Toy" fate as Cameron and for that I am sorry), but no toys (at least from Drew or I) and he really didn't seem to mind all that much. Christmas dinner was lovely and there was nary an ounce of drama in sight. Heavenly.

As for New Years Eve, it was fun! And I learned two very important things: (a) I appear to have some odd oral fixation--I dunno, and (b) I should refrain from attempting to indulge in my oral fixation when I've had too much to drink because it just doesn't look pretty.

Anyway, I've posted a few pictures from the night in question on my Flickr account, if you're interested, by all means, go take a peek.

As for the rest--life, love and the pursuit of happiness--right now, I got nothing.

Since I've been crowned...

"Aimee, giver of memes", I must uphold my reputation. Besides, I'm terminally bored at the moment and merely entertaining the thought of writing about the state of my life makes my stomach burn. Anyway, on with the show...

1. What month were you born in?
August

2. Where do you live?
In perpetual hell. Oh, you meant literally? South Florida, which as miserably humid as it gets here, could still fall under the category of "hell".

3. Wallet:
It's a black Liz Claiborne that matches a purse I once carried.

4. Dream car:
Eh, don't have one really.

5. Jewelry worn daily:
A charm with a picture of Cameron's face, the "Mom" charm Drew bought me on my first Mothers Day and a charm my mother gave me the day after Cameron was born, it's in the shape of a small child's head and Cameron's name and birthdate are engraved on it

6. Cologne/Perfume:
I have many, but my three favorites right now are Winter Candy Apple by Bath and Body Works, Chance by Chanel and Tommy Girl by Tommy Hilfiger.

7. CD in stereo:
I honestly have no clue as I haven't listened to a CD in a couple weeks or so.

8. Wearing:
Baby blue capri pants and a white v-neck tee.

9. Wanting:
Someone... and for life to quit slapping me around already cause I've really just had enough. Oh, and to get laid (ah, the ways that'd help relieve my stress).

10. The last thing you drank?
Jazz Starwberries & Cream Diet Pepsi.

11. Something you are afraid of?
A myriad of things, but right now--not knowing...

12. Do you like candles?
I love them.

13. Do you believe in love?
Sure, why not.

14. Do you like seafood?
Some, but I'm allergic to most so I don't touch it.

15. Do you consider yourself a study freak?
Me? Ah, no.

16. Do you like tattoos?
Love 'em, they're delectably sexy.

17. What's something you wish you could understand better?
Is this a trick question? Many, many, many things.

18. What did you do last weekend?
Hung out with Drew and watched movies on Saturday and on Sunday I went to my mom's where I got perfectly wasted and much to my shame, performed an impromptu mock blow job on an inflated condom. My poor mother... LOL.

19. Who do you miss?
Evan.

20. What will you eat for breakfast tomorrow?
I dunno, something.

21. What is your current problem?
Oh, if only it were so simple. One thing that will spin out of control and effect many things. Sigh.

22. What do you love most?
My sanity. Okay, seriously, my Cameron, my loves, my family, my friends.

23. What makes you most happy?
Refer to question #22's answer.

24. Are you musically inclined?
Nope.

25. Which shoe goes on first?
Whichever.

26. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would you change?
How to choose, how to choose...

27. Ever have a near death experience?
It's certainly felt like it a couple times.

28. Name an obvious quality you have?
I'm a push over of astronimical proportions and apparently you can sense it from a mile (or more) away.

29. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
I Miss You by Incubus.

30. Which celebrity would you marry?
Honestly, none. Marriage is highly overrated as are most celebrities.

31. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Percy Bysshe Shelley.

32. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
Nope.

33. Been in a fight?
A few.

34. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Much to my dismay, yes.

35. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
I only go to Starbucks during the holidays and it's either a Pumpkin Spice Latte or an Eggnog Latte.

36. Say something totally random about yourself:
Oh, for fuck's sake...

37. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Not that I recall.

38. How old are you?
31.

39. Do you wear a watch?
Sometimes.

40. Do you have anything pierced?
Ears.

41. Do you have any tattoos?
Nah, but I want one.

42. Do you like pain?
Am I supposed to? Not really, no.

43. Do you like to shop?
Hell fuck no, but occasionally I like to "browse".

44. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
My coffee.

45. What was the last thing you paid for with a credit card?
Gas.

46. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
Kim.

47. What is on your desktop background?
A picture of Cameron sleeping.

48. Do you have siblings?
One half sister.

49. Do you know any twins?
Yep.

50. Do you have any weird relatives?
Ah, my whole fricken family is weird so that'd be a YES.

51. What was the last movie you watched?
Pirates of the Carribean 2.

52. What was the last book you read?
Born in Death by JD Robb.

53. Did you or do you go to college?
Neither, I'm a loser.

54. What are your favorite pair of pants that you own?
I dunno probably one (or both) of my jean capris because they're nice and loose and comfy.

55. What is your favorite day of the week?
Friday.

Ouch.

I have one of the worst headaches ever.

Tonight (this afternoon/evening--whatever) was a perfect example of why I suspect no one ever listens to me. My nurse called Tuesday night and asked if she could move my infusion from Thursday to Wednesday (tonight) because one of her friends is in town and the only night they can get together is Thursday. I would've loved to do it for her but I had a prior obligation Wednesday night that was already moved from Thursday to Wednesday because of my infusion so I had to tell her no, but I offered to get off work a couple hours earlier on THURSDAY so she could be done and out of here before she'd normally even get here. Everything was, I thought, just peachy, but as is typical, it wasn't. My dad called me around four this afternoon to let me know my nurse was here to do my infusion because I said I'd get off a couple hours earlier on Wednesday so it wouldn't interfere with my plans and she could have Thursday off. Sigh. That is not what I said. Not, not, not!

First, how would her giving me my infusion a couple hours earlier not interfere with my plans for tonight? After the premeds are administered any plans I'd had would've been completely pointless as I would've been too messed up to do anything. And second, why on gods green earth would I adamantly insist that I couldn't do it at all on Wednesday only to turn around and not only say I will do it Wednesday, but offer to get off a couple hours early too? I wouldn't.

So, now I feel guilty that she came all the way here for nothing and that, though I was trying to be helpful by offering to do it earlier, I've still apparently messed up her night out with her friend.

Sigh.

But, you know what, since this is the way my life's been going lately, I'm not at all surprised.

Memelicious!

Yeah, so, life blows, let's do another meme!

A- Available or single? Neither.
B- Best Friend? Gods, can I have more than one?
C- Cake or pie? Oooh, cake! Can we have some??
D- Drink of choice? Coffee.
E- Essential item I use every day: Computer.
F- Favorite color: Green--the darker shades.
G- Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms? Definitely Bears.
H- Hometown? Originally? Ashland, Kentucky. Now? Coral Springs, Florida.
I- Indulgence: My daily Dunkin Donuts fix! Even if I have to scrape change, it's mine, I gotta have it.
J- January or February? February! I'm a sucker for Valentines Day.
K- Kids and names: Cameron.
L- Life is incomplete without? Love and trust.
M- Marriage date: Originally: June 27, 1999, and again after Cameron was born: April 9, 2000.
N- Number of siblings: One half sister: Christie.
O- Oranges or apples? Oranges.
P- Phobias or fears? Spiders.
Q- Favorite quote? I dunno, I have so many and I can't really pin down which particular one is my favorite right now.
R- Reasons to smile: My Cameron, my loves, my family, my friends.
S- Season: Used to be Winter, but I'm loving Fall right now.
T- Tag 3 or 4 people: Not on your life! Nope! Not gonna do it!
U- Unknown fact about me: Eh, if it's unknown there's probably a reason.
V- Vegetable you don’t like: Okra.
W- Worst habit: Smoking (which as stated earlier, I'm determined to quit) and then there's that whole biting my nails thing.
X- X-Rays: Too many to count.
Y- Your favorite food? Lotsa stuff! Stuffed shells, ooh, or fajita's, oh, and maybe filet mignon. Yum! Goodness, I'm suddenly hungry.
Z- Zodiac: Leo

Not a resolution...

...but a promise. And one I must keep.

Terry passed through my office a couple minutes ago, and on his way through, he spied my smokes sitting in their customary spot.

T: I thought you quit smoking.

A: Yeah, I did, but as you see, it didn't last long.

T: Well, it's a new year...

And he's right, it is indeed a new year.

You see, since October, when I decided to quit for Evan, I've quit and restarted smoking a good four times. Why? Cause I'm weak, life sucks and I appear to be in a perpetual state of unhappiness that just does not want to budge. But, just this weekend, my Cameron confided in me that he's afraid I'm going to get sick from smoking, and that I'm causing him that kind of worry over something so unnecessary broke my heart.

So I made him a promise and I intend to keep it. I will quit smoking this year (hell, I'm aiming for this week) and I will be strong enough not to restart.

There, I've said it, now I just have to do it. Wish me luck, I'm probably gonna need it.

*Smile*

I neglected to mention this (and for that I am truly ashamed), but I received a box full of delightful Christmas goodies from my bestest pal Angie on Friday!

She sent me chocolate buried cherries (yum) and other positively delectable confections, oh, and Snickers, she sent me Snickers--I love Snickers! She got me a teddy bear (it is so fricken cute) and Nora books (YAY) and my favorite hand and foot lotion and a post-it pad (love, love, love it) and this be-a-u-t-i-f-u-l "A" ornament with little Swarovski crystals (so pretty... sigh). It's all wonderful and I love it!!

Thank you, cupcake! If you didn't already own stock in my heart, the Snickers and that sweet little bear would've absolutely done it!

I love you, Ang!

As for New Years Eve, well, let me just say, Blue Raspberry Martini's are fuckin' fantastic! Mmm. And it seems that after I've had a few, I get a tad uninhibited as some time last night after a few too many of those yummy drinks I decided it'd be a good idea to perform obscene acts on an inflated condom. And apparently my sister took pictures of that particular fall from grace. Sigh. Ah, well, who cares, I had fun and hey, maybe I managed to teach my mom and Christie a thing or two about proper oral technique. LOL.

It just wouldn't be right...

...if I didn't start 2007 off with one of these bloody memes I've apparently grown an affection for.

Copy the first sentence of your first post for each month in 2006 and repost it.

January:
I swear, if I live to be a hundred, I’ll still never learn that my open-minded, free-spirited, live-and-let-live attitude somehow always manages to get my ass in trouble.

February:
Yawn, I am so incredibly tired today.

March:
I'm not dead nor am I better, and I never did manage to make it to the doctor on Tuesday like I was supposed to or today and definitely not tomorrow, work is just too busy this week as we have monthly bills due to be turned into the builder on Friday.

April:
I am SO excited!

May:
Well since you asked, I'll tell you.

June:
This is for Drew and anyone else who doesn't know what "Heely's" are.

July:
When I regain possesion of my digital camera (which I believe is in Christie's hot little hands at the moment), I shall post pictures from the family's annual 4th of July thingamajig, which, because the 4th is on a Tuesday this year, was yesterday.

August:
My Cameron, the one I love so incredibly, has guilted me and my mom into taking him swimming tonight after we get back from Curves.

September:
Christie did my make-up and it looks pretty damn good, if I do say so myself (and I don't often--trust me).

October:
I finally tackled all the e-mail I've been blissfully ignoring.

November:
I've had a piss poor, no good, very bad week (closer to two actually) and since I don't much feel like talking about it, I'll just post a bunch of pictures instead (in two posts again).

December:
And I bet you're getting tired of them already, huh?.