Aimee's Anticlimactic Weekend...

God, I've got a headache. I swear, I feel like I always have a headache. Oh well.

Well, this weekend was extremely anticlimactic. Let's see...

Friday I didn't do a darn thing. Zip, zilch, zero. And I even went to bed fairly early. Weird.

Saturday was actually really fun. I spent the day with my mommy finishing up school shopping for Cameron (God, I can't believe that in just a little over a week my baby will be starting kindergarten, *sniff*sniff*, I'm not ready). Okay, back to Saturday... We scooped up the rest of his supplies, got a couple extra pairs of uniform shorts and shirts, I bought a card for Angie (I'm crazy with the cards... Angie'll tell you) and my mommy bought me a pair of baby blue capri pants and these really soft black socks with pink butterflies (cute, cute, cute) to keep my little footsies warm (our house feels colder than a meat locker half the time). In between all that hard shopping (hee hee) we went to lunch, I had to get a salad (boo hiss) so as not to cheat on my diet (we wouldn't want that now, would we?). I've lost 10 pounds and I absolutely can't be back-sliding because that would really bite. Our last stop was Coral Square and we basically just looked at fun stuff there (YAY) but I gotta say, you can always count on mi madre for a few smartass comments...

We were getting ready to leave the mall, my mom was in the car already and I was outside doing my thing and she leaned over and yelled, "Hey, pop the trunk and get my candle out of the back while you're out there killing yourself."

Sigh.

And we drove her cute little car instead of my Explorer and as I was pulling out of the spot there was an SUV blocking the way and I said, "These assholes in their SUV's always blocking the way." and she lovingly replied, "Umm, Aimee I hate to point this out but you're one of those assholes in their SUV's always blocking the way."

She's great ain't she? She seriously is (even with all the smartass comments *wink).

Anyway after I dropped her off, I hoppped into said SUV and headed home where I proceeded to do nothing.

Today I spent the day cleaning. I hate to clean. I have a serious aversion to any and all domestic chores. And I dropped a bloody knife on my foot while I was doing the dishes. That shit hurt and my poor foot started to bleed. Ouch. No fun.

Now I'm just sitting here, yep, you guessed it... doing nothing.

And that about sums up my weekend. Boring.

Oh wait, this morning Drew was in the mood so he set out to get himself some but well, I was feeling bitchy and I just wasn't in the mood but he didn't want to hear all that noise. He actually said the most out of character thing in his quest to get laid, "Yo, just close your eyes and think about whatever you need to, just let me get in there."

But a word to the wise about a statement such as that one... It's too broad. You should never tell a woman to think about whatever she needs to while you're boning her because it might not be you. I mean, what if it's another man? You've just given her the go ahead to close her eyes and imagine fucking him while you're fucking her. It's not a wise statement.

I didn't, give him any, that is. I really wasn't in the mood.

Aimee's Entry - I'm bored, can you tell?

Boredom rears it's ugly head. A bunch of boring drivel (in no particular order cause well, I have a bit of trouble staying on point) that I'm sure you could care less about...

1. My middle name is Dawn (after my mommy)

2. I was born in Ashland, Kentucky on August 4th 1975.

3. My parents split up when I was 2 but didn't divorce until I was 5.

4. I have 1 half sister, 2 step-sisters and 3 step-brothers but no full blooded siblings.

5. I was in the Miss National Teenager Pageant when I was 17.

6. I didn't win.

7. I was a "drama queen" in high school, literally. I was obsessed with the theather.

8. I had roles in 'Up The Down Staircase', 'Final Dress Rehearsal', 'The Lottery' and 'A Night On Broadway'.

9. 'Up The Down Staircase' was the only one where I played the lead.

10. I went to modeling school at John Casablanca's but quit because it bored me.

11. I graduated high school in 1994.

12. Yeah, yeah, it was supposed to be '93 but I failed the 1st grade. For shame.

13. I absolutely love ferrets.

14. I've had 3 of them... Cherry, Clyde and Fidget.

15. The longest my hair has ever been is just below my ass.

16. The shortest was just below my ears.

17. It's short right now but I prefer it long.

18. I'm a measely 5'1".

19. My eyes are stuck somewhere in that strange realm between green and blue -- personally, I think they're confused.

20. Besides Kentucky and Florida, the only places I've been are South Carolina and Georgia.

21. My absolute favorite place EVER is Disney World -- I fricking love that place.

22. I hate the sun. Big time.

23. Excessive exposure leaves me looking a bit like a fair-haired lobster.

24. I have a birthmark on my left inner thigh.

25. I have 4 piercings (used to have 5)... all in the ears baby.

26. I have no tattoo's but Drew designed a killer one for me that Gabe's going to do one of these days.

27. I'm seriously afraid of spiders. No joke. It's bad.

28. And roaches. Ick.

29. I have absolutely no specail talent what-so-ever.

30. But I sure as fuck wish I did.

31. I'm addicted to caffiene... coffee (tons), tea, Dr. Pepper, etc.

32. Angie is one of my best friends and I've never actually spoken to her.

33. Come to think of it, the only person I've met online that I've spoken to is Veronica.

34. I wear a size 7 shoe.

35. Before Cameron was born, I wore a size 6.

36. I have a slightly weird obsession with my nails, they have to look pretty.

37. I broke one the other day, it hurts me to look at it.

38. I adore cheesy "easy listening" music.

39. It aggravates the shit out of Drew. *snort*

40. I love to kiss, a good make-out session is one of my absolute favorite things -- makes my toes curl.

41. But I can't remember the last time I actually participated in that lovely activity. Sigh.

42. I have a whole arsenal of top of the line make-up, I collect it like it's gold.

43. But it takes beating me into submission to get me to actually put the stuff on.

44. I'm addicted to perfume, another thing I covet like gold.

45. I have an odd thing for glitter... lip gloss, body lotion, shower gel, perfume... the list goes on.

46. If you massage my back, I'll do just about anything for you... putty in your hands.

47. I hate the sound of my voice, it annoys me.

48. But I talk to people on the phone all day.

49. I adore sunflowers, they're just so darn pretty, but my husband has never sent me any.

50. The only person who's ever sent me sunflowers is she who shall remain nameless.

Okay, well that's about all the boring shit I can think of right now. You didn't really think I'd get to 100, did you? Pfft, I barely made it to 50. I'm such a bore.

Aimee's Entry - Just Some Bitching (Sigh)...

Being blonde and not the sharpest tool in the shed, I really shouldn't open my big mouth but I swear, I can't abide stupidity. Sigh. There's this woman that I work with (not with-with (thank God) but she works for another company that works closely with mine) and she's dumber than a box of rocks to be sure. Good God, talking to her makes me want to slam my head into very hard inanimate objects. Why, oh, why do I have to deal with it? WHY?

Anyhow, I'm in a bit of a jam here. You see, my birthday trip is coming up (just 22 more days) and originally it was supposed to be my mom, my sister and myself but there was some totally unnecessary family drama a couple weeks ago and now my mom and Christie aren't speaking to each other. My mom called me today and asked if Christie was still going with us. She said that if she is, that's cool, it's my birthday present and she wants it to be what I want, but I don't know? How much fun can the three of us have if the two of them aren't speaking to each other? And do I really want them to try and work out their problems on my birthday trip? It's like a clusterfuck and I'm not sure what to do about it? Sigh. Oh well, I'll figure it out, I guess.

Oh and while I'm bitching about things that are pissing me off... Drew had me fucking fuming this morning. Damn, that man can be so insulting sometimes. I was talking to Jason briefly on IM the other night about how insulting Drew can be sometimes. He called me up at work this morning under the guise of reminding me to pay his cell phone bill but that was't the real reason he called. Oh no, he called to insinuate that I'm hiding something from him because there's some guys phone number in my spiral notebook.

We were about to say our goodbyes (or so I thought) and he slips in, "Who's Chris?"

Me, "Chris?"

"Yeah, Chris. You should know who he is, you've got his phone number written in your writing notebook."

Cute, he's looking through my writing notebook... could he be any more insulting, "Huh?"

"Chris. Who is he?"

This is ridiculous but a game he likes to play, "I don't know? My sister probably."

"It's not your sister. Who is it?"

SIGH... "Drew, I don't know anyone named Chris except Robin's nephew and my sister, okay?"

"What's your sister's number?"

"I don't know? I think it's ***-****."

"Aiight, that's the number you had written down."

God, I hate that ^^. Seriously hate that. I find it fucking insulting and if he felt the need to grill me about a phone number, couldn't he have waited until I got home.

You know, if it were up to Drew, I'd be stuck in a big dome of seclusion. No one to talk to, no friends, nothing. He'd tell me that I'm full of shit but with the way he acts sometimes, I don't think so. And it's that kind of shit, that made me tell him I wasn't in love with him anymore a few months back. I guess the part that really bothers me is that we've doing so good lately so why does he have to muddy the waters by doing stupid shit like that.

I'll never understand it.

Angie's Entry - More rambling

I'm staring at the blank screen, thinking of a thousand things I should type up, but it doesn't seem to be working. I tried posting an entry yesterday, but nothing came to mind. Correction - nothing of importance or revelance came to mind.

I did talk to my friend Teresa Tuesday night for about two hours. Chuck (Doug. Chuck was a nickname given to him when he used to live with three girls. Ya know - Charles in Charge?) is Teresa's brother in law, who is home for a two week leave from Iraq. Well the Chuckster had a few too many on Friday night and decided to lay out on the deck that he'd helped bulid earlier that day with Jason (Jason is Teresa and Kelli's brother, oh sorry. Kelli is Doug's wife. See there's a reason I haven't posted. My brain is very jumbled lately.)
Well, Jason and Doug didn't finish the deck completely, they ran out of time and didn't get the railing put up. And Doug in his drunken state wanted to just hang out on the deck. So Kelli went to bed.
Fifteen minutes later Kelli wakes up and Doug is standing in the doorway of their bedroom, crying. Kel, there's something wrong.
What is it?
Are you okay?
No, something's really wrong.
Like I need to call an ambulance wrong or what Doug?
I dunno, but I think I need to go to the hospital.

So off to the hospital they go. Well, they end up sending him right down to Regions (they live in New Richmond, WI and small town hospitals don't want anything to do with trauma vics, so they send them to the "cities" - immediately)

Here it turns out, poor Chuck broke his neck in two places. They said that being drunk probably helped, but the 10 foot fall he took off the side of the deck didn't. Now as Teresa is re-telling this saga to me, I can't help but laugh hysterically. If you knew Chuck, and Kelli, this would be hysterical to you too. Chuck is one of the funniest guys I have ever met. So for this to happen to him - it just fits him.

He was only susposed to be here for a two week leave from Iraq, Chuck is a marine, then he had another four months before he was due to come home. So now that this has happend, the marines have put him on medical leave, which means he can't go back to Iraq. Depending on how long it takes him to recover, he may have to finish out his duty at a base somewhere.

Oh, Chuck, the things you get yourself into!!

I'm going up to the cabin with Teresa this weekend. I think it's just her and I going. We have barely seen each other at all this summer, which is really unusual for us. So I'm excited.

Dumbfuck texted me Tuesday morning. Did I tell you that? Here's how it went:
Him: Are you still alive
Me: Yeah. Glad to see you are too
Him: Call ya in a few

As you can guess, I didn't hold my breath. I emailed Katie and told her. I also told her that if he wants something to happen between us, then he needs to step up and be the guy. I'm not gonna drop my shit and run to him just cause he calls. I'm not gonna sit by the phone on Friday or Saturday night and wait for him to call. Fuck that. I did that, and I'm not gonna do it anymore.

He needs to step up.

So Tuesday night while I'm, on the phone with Teresa, laughing my ass off cause of Chuck, dumbfuck texts me again. Twice. This time I didn't even bother to look at his messages until I was done with what I was doing. So when Teresa and I get off the phone, around 10, I check to see what was so important. Ya know what he texted me the first time?
I'm Rick James bitch!
The next one he sent was: Hello?
So I texted him back: I was on the phone with Teresa.

And you know what's coming next. I haven't heard anything since. And because I'm going out of town this weekend, my phone doesn't get good reception where the cabin is - so oh fuckin well.

Yesterday after Katie and I got done walking, she asked me to be one of her personal attendants. She's so cute.

My Brother's best friends wedding is next weekend. I really don't want to go. But I am or my mom is gonna be pissed. And they've been best friends since they were like 5.

Nicole has a softball tournament in the same town that weekend. So hopefully Saturday I can meet up with them and watch a few games. Maybe Sunday too. I think my mom wants us to drive up together but I'm against that idea. I like to crank the radio, smoke and drive the two hours straight through. My mom doesn't do well driving long distances like that. The ex and I used to drive up to Duluth and come back in one day. She never understood how we could do that. I dunno, we just did. We'd drive up to his parents house and come back the same day too. And that's only an hour drive. So I'm not sure what the game plan is and I'm not leaving at 5, at the height of rush hour. No way.

I made my first stir-fry on Tuesday night, all by myself! I have this obsession with broccoli in garlic sauce. I have an obsession with garlic, the more the better. I'd seen my mom make stir-fry a thousand times, but never done it myself. I almost cheated and used a packaged season mix I bought, but I wanted to try the sauces I'd bought first before I admitted failure. To my surprise it turned out rather well. I only used two cloves of fresh garlic and next time I'll be using three or four. The smell of garlic as it's crushed is fantastic!! And the color green that broccoli turns while it's steaming with water and garlic is a beautiful thing. I'm a dork I know.
I had to call my mom and tell her what I'd done cause I was proud of myself. Next time I'm going to be sure and get some snap peas, carrotts and use some of my "razzy red pepper sauce" that's been adorning my stove for a year, but never opened cause it's too pretty to open!

And since there's nothing exciting going on in my life, I'll share with you the life of my friends.

Tom, Teresa's mostly ex, has gone and lost his mind this time around. Poor Tom and poor Teresa and Brit (Teresa's daughter, she's 12 soon to be 13 in August). It's a bad situation all the way around but Teresa can't live in limbo anymore, waiting on Tom to make up his mind. And I don't blame her one bit. The long and short? Teresa wants to get married (they've been together for about ten years) and Tom won't. Earlier this year he told her it was over and that she had to move out. So after she finally scraped herself off the floor from complete devestation, she got pissed off and moved out.
She was miserable for a long time and Tom didn't realize how empty the house would be without her and Brit in it and begged her to come back. She told him under no uncertain terms would she move back in until they were married. They started counceling and things seemed to be working back to good.
The lease on the apartment Teresa's in is up in September and she asked him what was going on. He said he wasn't going to get married, he wasn't going to let her pressure him so she said, fine then it's over. For good this time. Cause you're not going to do this to me and Brit. I'm not going to move back to have you do this to us in a year or six months or whenever the mood strikes you. So fine, I'm moving on. You can't spend every night here, you wanted to be on your own, so go do it.

And That's when Tom went psycho. I've seen him go nuts before.

There's never a dull moment between these two I tell ya. But after talking to Teresa, it sounds to me like she's really done this time. She's not playing games to get what she wants, she just wants to be done. He's not the same person he used to be and she's turned off by the person he's become. So if he wants her back, he's got a lot of things to put in order.

So we're not sure if we're going to the cabin this weekend. Cause if Tom's there, then she doesn't want to be. Which I totally understand. But Brit wants to go to the cabin and Teresa doesn't know what to tell her.

So it could be an interesting weekend!

Boy this is a long entry!

The CD's In MY Case (For Jason)...

I've been meaning to do this since Jason posted Those CD's in the Case but I'm typically slow on the uptake so most things I intend to do are usually lagging behind.

I don't really have anything in regular rotation anymore because Drew done went and stole the adapter for the CD player in my car and I've searched high and low but can't find the bloody thing. Sigh. So instead, I just opened my CD case, started from the beginning and listed the first twenty.

1. The Marshall Mathers LP -- Eminem

2. The Slim Shady LP -- Eminem

3. The Eminem Show -- Eminem

4. Encore -- Eminem

5. Shady Invasion -- DJ Green Lantern

6. Invasion Part II (Conspiracy Theory) -- DJ Green Lantern

7. Countdown to Armageddon -- DJ Green Lantern

8. D12 World -- D12

9. Cheers -- Obie Trice

10. 8 Mile Soundtrack -- Various

11. The Documentary -- The Game

12. Beg For Mercy -- G-Unit

13. Tupac Resurrection -- Tupac

14. Meteora - Linkin Park

15. Free Yourself -- Fantasia

16. Mo' Money In The Bank -- Lloyd Banks

17. Martina McBride Greatest Hits -- Martina McBride

18. Songbook -- Trisha Yearwood

19. Away From The Sun -- 3 Doors Down

20. Stripped -- Christina Aguilera

Hmm, looking back over this list, I'm sensing a distinct pattern here...

Angie's Entry - An apology - sort of

Tine,

Our post was not intended to offend or make fun of you or any of the other SF “team” members. Our post was to rant/vent our frustration and feelings about the posts we have seen, the treatment of the “members” of that board and the general lack of respect those two particular individuals are showing – to everyone over there.

My personal hope is that you and the others are not going to fall victim to the same treatment as Aimee and I eventually had. That would be a very sad thing to see happen.

Aimee and I purposely did not use any names of those to whom we are speaking about, and maybe we should have to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.

I apologize if you feel we were singling you out or made you feel we were directing any of our comments to you or about you.

We were not.

Under any circumstances.

Our post had nothing to do with you nor was it about you. It was and still is about them. You read too much into it.

I apologize if our comments hurt you. They were not meant to. I would never attack someone who didn't attack me first. I don't operate that way. I would also never knowingly hurt someone else's feelings and if I did, then I will be the first to admit I was sorry.

However, I do not apologize for what I said or how I feel about these two people. I realize that you don’t understand fully what happened, by no fault of your own, and to take the time and rehash the entire unfortunate series of incidents would be picking at old wounds.

I will simply say this: One of those persons felt it was necessary to not only threaten me but she also tried to start trouble between me and someone else very high up on the food chain there by making accusations, pretending to know how I felt or what I thought and I called her out on it. I told her to forward all of our joint remarks to said person so she could see exactly the kind of person she would be dealing with. I was attacked by this person, when she had no foundation, no basis to attack me in the manner and fashion she did, her only saving grace was that she did not do it in a public forum. Nonetheless, that’s when my personal affiliation with SF ended. And now that I have read some of the downright rude and nasty comments made by these people, it makes me more and more confident that I never want to be apart of that scene again.

Tine, I have always thought you to be a very sweet person and I still do. I hope this does not affect any feelings you have towards me or about me. I would also hope that you will respect that this blog is mine and Aimee's domain. We have silenced ourselves, stayed quiet, at the other forum very intentionally, out of respect for the members that stay and whom are still our friends, please have the same respect for us.

And again I apologize if your feelings were hurt, we were not making fun of you. But we have every right to feel the way we do, we were the ones that were wronged, Aimee more so than I.

(REPOSTED) Candy Coated Sarcasm (Isn't That The Best Kind?)...

REPOSTED

Sometimes you've just gotta scratch the itch... C'est la vie.

NOTE: This is nothing but pure, unadulterated sarcasm. It represents everything that we would NEVER do on our website/forum. And hey, if you happen to recognize some of these traits in the way you run your domain then well, that's your problem not ours. We might suggest that perhaps you should try running a nice, friendly site instead of some uptight form of boot camp but eh, that's just us.

Let the sarcasm begin...

Well, we've thought long and hard about this and we've come to a few decisions that we think you'll agree wholeheartedly with (and if you don't well who fucking cares, nobody asked you, did they?):

Let's talk banners, shall we? They're a handy little thing, no? I mean, we could beg and plead all of the loyal readers that visit our site to come on over to our forum and work their asses off while we sit back and do well, not-a-fucking-thing... hey, don't be stingy now, you'll get a cute little banner for your troubles. We won't make you Moderators or give you any kind of "real" privileges but you'll get a fucking banner... sheesh...do you honestly think we'd let you take ALL the credit for everything WE do to keep this site running??

And hey, if you decide to post your work up at our forum, we'll make sure that we go through it with a fine tooth comb, nit-picking every fucking thing you've written because well, why not? We are the "Queens" of writing, after all -- we know our shit and it doesn't stink. After we're done nit-picking we'll make sure to tell you exactly how you need to portray your characters and if you don't change them to suit our needs, we'll just remove your story from our forum. Bing, Bang, Boom. Because honestly, it's highly offensive to us that you'd attempt to use your brain and create your own characters. I mean really... Jeez. Besides that? We KNOW that staff members of a certain rapper and his label are checking our site on a daily basis cause we ARE that fuckin’ cool, just ask us, we'll tell you. We don't want him to sue us, cause ya know, he's got nothing better to do than sit on his ass all day and read fiction about himself!!

We'll strive to always be bitchy, nasty and to never, ever miss an opportunity to jump your shit if you feel the need to express your opinion. They're just not welcome! The only opinions acceptable are ours for fucks suck. I don't know why we have to keep going over and over the same shit. Sigh. And if you dare call one of us out, dare to tell us that we're wrong, well! Consider yourself immediately banned. You are not allowed to challenge us or bring one of OUR decisions into question! This is OUR site and we will run things, fair or unfair, the way we see fit!

After we've sat back for a while and let you do all the work, we'll slink back out of the wood work and whine (boo, hiss) about all the back-breaking work and mind-numbing expense involved in running our site and ultimately hit you up for money. You didn't really think we were going to keep letting you read our shit for free, did you? Oh pipe down, so what -- you're doing all the work. Are we supposed to care? My God, you people are incredible.

Ass kissing is not optional. Do it or get the fuck out. Seriously, you don't expect us to do all this "work" without the pleasure of having your lips firmly planted on our ass, do you? If we feel that we're not getting enough praise for everything we do, we'll threaten to shut the site down, that oughta get your attention huh? You need to, on a regular basis, create threads that sing our praises. We're very childish, demanding, self-centered, holier-than-thou individuals who are always right and if we don't get our way or if we're feeling unloved, then we will throw temper tantrums.

And for pity's sake, don't expect us to actually update the site more than once a year. Yeah sure, you're doing all the work and now you're paying too but that doesn't entitle you to regular updates. What the hell do you think we are? I swear. If you think you can run a site better than we can, then by all means, go ahead and start your own, but don't think for one second of a second that you'll be advertising it on OUR site!! Not a chance in hell!-If you happen to have the gall to correct one of us when we're being irrational, rude and just downright bitchy to people for absolutely no fucking reason, it's lights out bitch. Honestly, how dare you? Who the fuck do you think you are pointing out that we're being egotistical, self-righteous assholes.

Well Jeez, I think that about covers it. Welcome to our site/forum. Please make yourselves at home and by all means enjoy yourselves!

~ * Aimee and Angie * ~

Aimee's Entry

I took down a post that Angie and I made this morning because it hurt someone that we care about and we can't and won’t allow that.

My feelings on the issue that prompted that entry are solid, when it comes to that situation there’s typically no bending with me but then I had to sit back and ask myself, how do I justify hurting someone that I genuinely care about just to release some pent up anger?

It’s a hard line to walk.

When I read her comment, I was extremely conflicted… one side of me wanted to ignore it and the other side of me was sad and appalled that I hurt her.

But really, here’s the problem that I’m struggling with in all of this… I got fucked over by someone that I cared about, someone that I loved, someone that I trusted implicitly and for no other reason than the fact that she associated with me, Angie got fucked over too. And what did we do about it? NOTHING! Not one damn thing. We didn’t lash out at anybody, we didn’t go stirring up trouble and asking people to choose sides. No, instead we went our own way and did our own thing. No harm, no foul. Do you think all that petty shit didn’t bother us? Do you think it didn’t burn our asses to sit back and do nothing?

WRONG. ON. ALL. COUNTS.

God, out of some misguided sense of friendship, I devoted myself completely to that fucking place and even more so to the bitch that runs it? And Angie, who was completely innocent got dragged into this mess because that other psychotic bitch decided to go off half-cocked and start attacking people. How could it not bother us? Burn us? Fucking hurt us?

God, apparently I've given off the impression that I'm made of steel, that I don't hurt but that's all wrong, I'm human for God’s sake.

You know, after the big fuck over and all the hurt, we could’ve been petty and asked you to choose sides but we didn’t, did we? No instead, we did...

NOTHING.

And now here, in our own place, we can still do nothing because doing something hurts people who’re still a part of both worlds.

So, I’m sorry you misinterpreted our entry Tine, it was in no way, shape or form making fun of the “team” that you’re still a part of but I removed the entry because I love you and I’d never intentionally do anything to hurt someone that I love but honestly, I really don’t think it’s fair that I was made to feel that I had to remove it.

…I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it…

Aimee's Entry - Learning to Embrace the Skin You're In.

Okay, I'd been struggling with something for a bit and it was bothering me, I kept meaning to write it down and get it out but I never did. So, I talked it out with someone over the weekend instead and now, I'm writing it down.

Have I ever told you that I used to be percieved as beautiful?

No?

That's probably because I've never really agreed with that perception.

In matters of vanity, self-confidence has always been a problem for me. I've never really been comfortable with the reflection that peers back at me everytime I look in a mirror and as time goes by, that feeling of discomfort only intensified.

I've traveled up and down and round and round on the weight scale so many times since Cameron was born, it's a wonder I haven't succombed to a chronic case of dizziness. It's daunting, depressing, disheartening to look at yourself and be disgusted by what you see, to wonder if other people are as repulsed by you as you are. And, it doesn't matter how many people tell you that you look fine, you don't think you look fine and that's the part that's hard to get past, you know?

The battle with insecurity is a hard road to travel and honestly, in the long run, a completely unnecessary one because how is anyone else supposed to find you attractive if you, yourself can't stomach the skin you're in?

Time goes on and beauty fades, that's just a part of life but you know something I recently discovered (with help and a bit of bullying from an absolutely gorgeous woman)? There are so many facets that make a person beautiful and if you're not content with the person you are inside and out, then you're only gliding through life half alive and what good is that? You miss the best parts of life when you're only half living. And she's absolutely right.

So, those pieces of myself I considered beautiful that hopped the train to nowhere and ruthlessly refuse to come back are in for a fight because I've decided that I'll no longer accept that.

I've got to embrace the skin I'm in because it's the only skin I've got. It's mine and it's beautiful.

Yours is too.

Nite About 'SLBD'...

Just a quickie...

I'm aware that a number of people want an update for 'Shattered Lives and Broken Dreams' and I'm tickled pink (seriously -- pink, no lie) that anyone cares enough to send me e-mails and IM's about it. I apologize for my serious lack where that story is concerned. It's one of my favorites and because it is, I tend to be a bit more critical of it than I am of others. Chapters for that fic are no small matter either so the time I have to put into writing a chapter is a lot more than I am able to give right now. I hope to change that soon. At the moment, the next chapter is about 50% done but it's nowhere near ready to put up at the site (I'm sorry).

Just be patient, I promise I'll get up off my ass and finish that chapter soon. In the meantime, go and read that original piece I put up, all that sex should hold you over ;)

Thanks.

~ Aimee

Angie's Entry

LMMFAO!!!

Ah, gosh! *wiping away tears of laughter* That was the most fun I've had in a while! I dare any of them bizzo's to come over here and cry! Aimee and I had a blast, blasting them on Friday in an IM we were chatting in. We both had expressed posting something here just to get the shit off our chest and I'm glad she typed 98% of that up. I only helped 2%,but that's not to say that I don't agree 1000% with everything she had to say. So watch out for Aimee!! Hee-hee!

So I took the kissing purity test and here's my result:

Your Kissing Purity Score: 37% Pure
You're not one to kiss and tell...But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Hmmmmmm. . . . . .

Aimee's Completely Untitillating Weekend...

Dios Mio, I'm tired. Trekking through what feels like a hundred stores with a capricious five year old in tow is work, let me tell you. I feel like I could sleep for a week and the fact that I spent last night worshipping the porcelain God didn't help either. I'm beat.

Well let's see, what's happened since last I posted here?

Umm... Friday, I registered Cameron for school (that was a rough one, I cried again. I'm such a sap). But, he'll be starting kindergarten in 15 days and I'm not sure how I feel about that. He's my baby, you know? The only one I've got and the older he gets, the more independent he gets. He's only 5 and there's so much he doesn't depend on me for already. Sigh. The little monster is growing up on me and it's making me a bit sad.

Oh, oh, oh... there was a UPS envelope on my doorstep when I got home on Friday. My first birthday present had arrived. I didn't even have to open it to know what was inside but that didn't stop me from tearing into it like a kid in a candy store. So, now I've got my Anger Management Tour 3 tickets and only 9 more days to wait. YAY.

Saturday, I didn't do a damn thing. Honestly. I laid around being lazy until it was time to go to lunch. Drew had done a job for this guy who owns a restaurant in Lighthouse Point and he always pays Drew in food so he told us to come down for lunch. We did and it was good but something I ate bothered my stomach. I took a long nap when I came home because I didn't feel well and when I got up Drew wanted to take me to Carrabba's for dinner (it was supposed to be my last hoorah before I start the South Beach diet on Monday) but I should've skipped it because my stomach was still a mess from lunch. About an hour after we came home from dinner my trip through hell started. It was fucking miserable.

And because I had such a miserable night last night, today was tiring. My mom, Cameron and myself went shopping. We hit Walgreens, Sears, Stride Rite and Super Target to get the things Cameron's gonna need for school. They implemented this stupid uniform policy this year which really sucks. As far as regular clothes go, Cameron's okay but he doesn't have anything that fits into their uniform requirements so he had to get all new clothes and shoes for school. Bless my mother because without her help, I would've been in serious trouble. Apparently the school board thinks us parents are just rolling in it because that stuff isn't cheap. My mom spent over $200.00 today and we didn't get any actual supplies yet, just clothes and shoes. Supplies and a haircut are next weekend.

I'm so excited, my mom got the confirmation packet for our trip to Disney last week. God, I can't wait. Seriously. I need a vacation. The only kink in the whole thing is that when we made the reservations it was for my mom, my sister and myself and now my mom and my sister aren't speaking to each other so, Christie may not go now. Who knows? I hope she does because it'd be so good for the three of us to spend a few days alone together but I don't know if they'll get over this thing that's come between them before then.

You know what's really sad? My age is starting to show. Kim and I went to play Bingo (okay, stop all that laughing, it's actually pretty fun) last weekend and as she was flipping through radio stations we started talking about music. I commented that I was going to have to con one of my loving family members into buying me Air Supply's greatest hits CD and Kim laughed at me. It wasn't that funny (wait until she finds out I want Journey's greatest hits too).

And before I go...

Your Kissing Purity Score: 11% Pure

For you, it's all kiss and no talk. You're in a permanent lip lock.

Kissing Purity Test

^^^ I object!!! I'm not that bad.

Oh well, that's about it for me. I still haven't started 'Origin In Death' and I'm a bit peeved at myself for that because normally I'd be done with it already. But with all this other stuff crowding my life lately, I just haven't had time. I'll have to work on changing that.

Night.

(P.S. I'm glad you guys liked your songs, we had a blast picking them out for you.)

From Aimee and Angie, With Love...

Through our blog travels (we pretty much visit the same blogs... mostly) we stumbled upon this cool song meme.

Theme Song MeMe
Put a theme song to a blog... if you're listed here, you're TAGGED!

Well, since we've never been any good at conforming to rules, we decided to change it up a bit. Instead of picking a "Theme Song" for a blog, we more or less picked songs that made one (or both) of us think of you.

Enjoy.

~ * Aimee and Angie * ~

Evan (About Last Night) - Supernova by Liz Phair

Jason (Solid Fluidity) - I Don't Want To Be by Gavin DeGraw

Tom (This Is A Tom Collins) - Kiss Off by Violent Femmes

G_C (Never Been Kissed) - Chariot by Gavin DeGraw

Jay (But Enough About You) - If I Had A Million Dollars by Barenaked Ladies

AB (Accidental Boyfriend) - Superheroes by Racer X

(P.S. You don't have to do this if you're not wanting to. No pressure.)

Angie's Entry - Who's that girl??

Sorry, for the bad Madonna reference. While I was being girly last night, having my nails done, the place I was at, had like her best mellow songs playing. She's got some good tunes.

I apologize for not posting in a while. My attention seems to be short lived if present at all these days.

I talked to dumbass last Friday night. I had stopped back down at Jason and Katie's to hang with them for a while and he texts me at like 10:20 with "Miss U, where you is"
and now I'm pissed. I texted him over a week ago and not so much as a 'hi' response back. Angie doesn't play this game anymore, but I'll teach you that. Quickly.
So I text him back - at Jason and Katie's. U?
Home, whatcha been doin?
Nothing, u?
Work, trouble
What kind of trouble
Call me at home.

So I call him at home.

We exchange pleasentries and then it's on. I said something smart and he goes - oh so your phone doesn't work or something?
(screetching tires are heard in the background)(Oh no you didn't!)(oh yes he did!)
Lesson 1: Don't try to take attitude with me, I'll cram it right back down your throat. Go ahead, try me.
So I come back with - what? I fuckin texted you last fuckin Friday and you haven't said shit in over a week! I can take a fuckin hint Aaron!
Ok, ok, geez. Settle down alright?
Well, then don't come at me like that.

Now at this point, Jason has almost spit beer out of his nose cause he didn't expect me to lay the smackdown on his ass. Katie is laughing at Jason and I need a smoke.

So I go sit out front on the steps and smoke while Aaron and I try to make small talk. He went full time at the auto shop. He told me about a Jaguar he got to take a for a drive. I told him about a leak in my downstairs bathroom and said I'd probably end up callin my stepdad to help me with it. It would take a year to fix, but the damn pipe would never leak again. So he goes, fine, then call him.
What? Did I ask you to fix it for me? No. Just because you happen to be a man in my life, doesn't mean I expect you to do everything for me. I can do shit on my own ya know.

I know, so anyways. What are you doing tonight?

Now remember that by now it's creeping up on 11 and I've been up since 5 am. My steam is pretty much gone. And the last thing I feel like doing is going and sitting in a bar watching TV, when I can do that at Jason and Katie's and talk to someone at the same time.
I'm gonna hang out here for a while and then I dunno, why? What do you got goin on tonight?
Probably gonna head up to smiliey's.
Oh, ok.
blah, blah & blah then he says something and I say something and he comes back with, well you don't wanna go out during the week and you don't call.
Aaron, whatever. I'll text ya when I leave here
kay, if you're feeling ambitious, I'll be at smiliey's.
kay, talk to ya later.

I swear, I would hit him if he was standing in front of me. He's so fuckin infuriating. Katie and I discussed it later in the week and what I should have said to him is look: I start work at 6:30 in the morning. My dog is in her kennel all day long. By the time I get home it's 6:30. I've been gone for 12 hours. I'm tired, hungry and the dog needs to be let out and fed. When you call me at 9 at night and want me to get into my car, drive 20 minutes to the bar to sit and have a few drinks, then turn around and drive home, we're talking midnight before I'm in bed. I have shit to do when I get off work. If you want to get together during the week, then call at a reasonable time. You know Katie and I walk practically everyday, that we're done around 6, call me then, call me during the day, the night before or whatever. I'm not a kid anymore, I can't just drop what I'm doing cause you want me to. *sigh* *releasing deep breath*

So Jason makes me watch Evolution, which isn't as bad as Super Troopers or Joe Dirt. And now it's after 1. I decided to work for a few hours on Saturday to clean up some stuff at my part time job and I wanted to get there early so I could leave early. So I decide to head home rather than go see Aaron. Priorities. Spend money or make money?

So I text him:
I'm heading home
That sucks
I waited until I got home to text him back cause I really didn't need to crash my car or get pulled over . So when I get home I text:
I know. I'll see you tomorrow. U have to get up early and my shoulder is killin me
Ok
Are you mad
No
Would you tell me if you were?

No response. So I went to bed. Fine, if you wanna have your undies in a bind, then that's your fuckin problem. I got my own shit to worry about.

I slept longer than I wanted to on Saturday morning but I got into work, did my shit and walked with Katie. Nicole had a softball tourney at one of the big sports bars around my house but she was out of town on vaca all week and I didn't know what time they played at. But she called me and left me a message.

I went home, got some stuff done around there and made it in time for the last half of the second game. I texted Aaron, 'whatcha doin'. And heard nothing back.

So after the games were over, I headed back down to Jason & Katie's to hang with them. Jason is on shut down from the Ford Plant and other than when he's off, I don't get to see him much, so hanging is cool. I called Katie and everyone was over at Bubba and Chrissy's so I went over there.

I got there around 8:30 - 8:45 or so and I waited a whole two hours before I finally texted Aaron again. "hello? I texted you earlier"

I fuckin stopped home after the softball game, packed a bag and shit just in case I ended up staying at his place, let the dog out and gave her some extra food so I know she'd be ok until 8 the next morning. And does the prick even bother to text or call me? No.

I wait about another 20 minutes and text him again, 'are you ignoring me?'

He finally answers me - no sorry

Sunday I went back up to Diamonds (the sports bar where the torn was) on Sunday and watched two more of the girls softball games, then I headed further north to my cousin's to have my oil changed. We sat and hung out for a few hours then I went home around 5.

I checked my cell phone when I got home and he had texted me around 4:50. 'where you is'

Home now.

And that's it. I haven't heard jackshit from him since. I haven't texted him this week and I'm ntot going to. I'm not going to chase him. Nope. I've already put my neck to far out there as it is.

Screw him.

In other news, Life is boring as usual. The other temp at my part time job is wearing on the last shred of self-restraint I have for him.

My mom has a couple scratches on her eye and has her third appointment for it today. They think she may be allergic to the antibiotics they're giving her.

My brother is going to a wedding this weekend that his ex-girlfriend is the maid of honor at. He's bringing his new "girlfriend" and I'm really sad I won't be there to see little Sara (all of 5 foot 2) kick the ever loving piss out of 5 foot 8 Lindsey. Man, to be a fly on the wall at that reception. Damn! I always miss the fun! Not to mention that I want to beat the ever loving piss out of Lindsey too. Backstabbing, cheating, lying, cunt. Anyways!

At Bubba's last week, my friend Pete, not the one from my part time job, tells me that he's wanted to get with me for like ever. He's married with two kids now. He was drunk, but Pete doesn't lie to me.

We stood off to on the side of the house for about an hour talking. It's what we do. Pete and I don't see each other very often and when we do, we like to catch up. One year during the state fair we decided to talk a walk together cause everyone was buggin us. So we walked up to his house a few blocks away, he grabbed a couple beers and we walked up to a near by lake. It started to rain so we sat under this shetler thing for a while, then decided to walk in the rain. We played on the playground for a while then headed back cause we figured everyone should have passed out or went home.

Pete and I have been friends since, well I was 19 when I met him, so 11 years? Katie walked over a couple times while we were talking, Jason did too. It irritated me cause, Pete and I are talking, get the fuck away from us. If everyone else was getting mad, tough fuckin shit. No one says anything to Katie when she used to disappear with Jim or Jimmy or Phil or Bob for hours, leave me and Pete to talk. Katie snooped cause she's a nosy nose. She'll admit it. She wanted to know what we were talking about and neither of us were gonna tell her or include her in on the convo. Sorry. I love Katie to death, but what Pete and I talk about, is between me and Pete.

What else?

I'm not sure what I'm doing tonight. I need to vacuum, go grocery shopping and make a stop at either Walmart or Target.

Had my nails done last night. Got them cut down a little then painted a dark plum color with an airbrush over it. Just for something fun to do for a change. What's the use in having acrylic nails if you can't have fun with them?

Ok, I'm done now. I hope you guys liked the songs Aimee and I picked for you!

Oh and I could go on and on about Ms. Bitch and her ever faithful side kick, but I'm tired of typing now. Maybe if they piss me off later on today or this weekend, I'll rant about how much I loathe them and how I want them to burn in hell for all eternity.

Aimee's Entry - Totally Out of Left Field -- Rough Roads Ahead...

Warning: If you don't mind some ranting and a bunch of rather filthy language stick around and if you do, I apologize. I rarely go off on a tangent such as this one but from time to time well, I just have to let loose or else I'll go stir up a bunch of shit I promised Angie I'd leave alone.

Someone pissed in my cheerios. Actually, truth is, the mere existence of this person (and her ass kissing lap dog) puts my back up and when she goes off acting like the ignorantly deluded bitch she is, it makes me itchy. I'm feeling itchy.

Have you ever just wanted to bitch slap some uptight, egotistical, narcissistic, attention whoring cunt?

No?

Well, I have.

I do.

Right fucking now.

I swear to God, why so many people feel the need to bury themselves up her ass like she's the Queen of fucking Sheba is beyond me but much to my amazement, they do. It's disgusting. I swear, it makes my stomach turn. When is everyone going to wake up and realize that her and her trusty sidekick are nothing but a couple of backstabbing, deceitful bitches?? Doesn't anyone realize that they're fucking fakes? Users? Sweet and pretty in your face but it's a whole other ball game when your back is turned.

You can't voice your opinion. You can't speak your mind. You can't think for yourself. Hell, if you're going to enter their realm, you better check your brain at the door because if you attempt to use it , it's bad news for you. And as long as people keep kissing her ass, it'll never change, she'll just keep bending over to give you better access.

What someone needs to do, is put their fucking foot up her self-righteous ass. I'd love to be the one to do it, I have to bite my lip until it bleeds sometimes to stop myself from doing something stupid. But I swear if someone doesn't put that cunt and the bitch permanently attached to her clit in their place soon, I'm going to lose my fucking mind.

Fuck. I need to just stay away from there.

Aimee's Entry - It's SO f@$king HOT!!!

Whoo, I have a headache. God, it hurts. Ouch. And I'm having such a miserable day so far.

Imagine me, if you will, on my knees, my head stuck in the housing compartment for the company's phone equipment with my ass up in the air wearing a skirt with a fucking slit up to mid thigh (it was the most awkwardly uncomfortable position to be in and I can just imagine the view from behind. Sigh). Well, that's how I started my morning. The damn phones went down and since the phones are Aimee's responsibility, she had to crawl around on the floor like an idiot resetting the system and dicking with the wiring. But, it's fixed. Thank God.

It's hotter than bloody hell in Florida today. Today, hell, all fucking week. Miserable, miserable, miserable. It's making me cranky. My office mate had laser surgery to quit smoking and she's having a rough time of it so she's cranky too. What a lovely pair we make, eh? Everyone's taking a wide path around this office to avoid the sniping. Hmm. That could be a good thing.

I promised Cameron that I'd take him to the park after work and I'm seriously regretting that promise. It feels like it's 105 degrees outside and the last place I want to be is sweating my ass off at the park with a bunch of noisy kids.

^^ See, bad mood. I love kids but today the thought of hanging out with them is giving me a migraine.

Drew and I had unspectacular sex last night (it was only a quickie so I shouldn't be negative about it) and got caught. Cameron came waltzing in at a fairly bad time. He was supposed to be in bed. I need to teach that child that when the bedroom door is closed, you don't just come barging in. It was embarrassing but I think we covered it well (at least I hope we did).

I was chatting with Sky online last night and she said my voice sounds teenager-ish (LOL). I suppose it does. I’ve always just thought I sound doofy. I hate leaving messages on voice mail and answering machines because I always sound like a dope. It was fun though, I played with that thing for a while. Jason suggested audio-posting once a week. Sounds good to me. I’ll see what I can do.

Okay, enough bitching. It was a completely unremarkable day and I'll end it in the scorching sun at the park. YAY. Hopefully, things will go nice and smooth tonight and I'll be able to immerse myself in 'Origin in Death' by J.D. Robb. It's been sitting on my desk since Saturday afternoon and I have yet to start it. For shame.

Good night y'all.

Aimee's Entry

Are They Not Adorible??

NOTE: I updated our website and a little birdie told me that Angie is going to be adding some updates soon for anyone that's interested. And if you've never been there, I must warn you that most of what we write is rated NC17 for 'Explicit Sexual Content' so don't be shocked if you stumble into a sex scene ;)

Now on to the adoribleness...

~ * Cameron and Sarah * ~

I know, I know... Cameron needs a haircut and Sarah's sucking her thumb but they're still just so darn cute!!!

~ Aimee

Aimee's Entry - Some People Make Me Physically Sick.

I don't typically push my beliefs or things that I support on other people, I may rant about them from time to time when something really bothers me but when I read this load of bullshit, I have to tell you, I felt physically ill. How can people be so fucking ignorant? Makes you wonder, it really does.

I apologize to anyone who has no interest in what I'm going to post here but I am going to post it, if it doesn't interest you, feel free to skip it.

The Broward Christian Coalition has convinced the Diversity Committee for Broward schools to reject a video that teaches tolerance.

The reason? Their animosity toward the gay community is so great that they are willing to attack the very notion of tolerance out of a fear that our community will be also be respected.

Unless we act now, the “We are Family” music video that features Barney, Big Bird and SpongeBob singing a message of mutual respect and togetherness will not be distributed in Broward County schools. According the the Anti-defamation League which produced and distributed the video to over 61,000 school districts, Broward joins a list of just five districts in the country to reject the video.

There is still time to act! The Broward School board can override the misguided decision of the diversity committee and accept the video. Click here to let the school board know you support teaching tolerance to our students.

This attack is part of a carefully orchestrated and well-documented campaign by the far right to impose their religious agenda and make our families invisible.

Their goal is to eliminate every resource for LGBT youth. The same extremists speaking out against this simple video are the ones who oppose any anti-bullying laws that include LGBT students.

The diversity committee refusing to use a video that teaches diversity is like the fire department refusing to use water to put out fires. This video teaches children to be kind toward everyone. The far right believes some of us do not deserve kindness or respect. That’s what they would teach our children.

The far right may be using the gay community today to attack the idea of diversity – but look how far they are willing to go. They won’t allow any discussion of respect, kindness, tolerance, fairness or diversity in our schools, not even a happy song by Big Bird and Barney.
Please take a moment and send a letter to the Broward School Board now.

Thank you.
Nadine Smith
Executive Director
Equality Florida

Aimee's Entry

In life, people come and people go but every once in a while someone slips in and for no apparent reason, they touch your heart. Evan touched mine. His surgery was yesterday and though I remained positive, I couldn't completely stop the "what-if's" from creeping into my thoughts. What if something went wrong? What if there were complications? What if... What if... What if... When I care for someone, it goes deep and the not knowing whether he was okay or not was like a fist around my heart. There was an e-mail from his wife in my inbox this morning and the fear and relief that ran through me were like a double edged sword but I opened it and that fist around my heart loosened. He made it through.

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within."

-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Aimee's Entry

Evan... I'll get to your question in a sec sweetheart.

Jay...Thank you *hug* and yes, I'm okay. I'm still hurting a bit but they said I would.

Matt... I'm keepin' on. Absolutely. Thank you.

Jason... Thank you. Yeah, pluerisy is what I thought when they told me I had an infection around the lungs and the symptoms fit. It's probably due to the fact that I had that upper respiratory infection from February through hell, I think it was sometime in June when I finished my 5th dose of antibiotics. Hmm... Dr. Jason? I like it *smile*

So, on to happier stuff...

I'll start with Cameron because as lousy as I felt when I came home yesterday he managed to make me smile. I just love him so much.

Cameron stayed with my mom while I was in the hospital and she brought him home last night. After she left we were sitting on the couch and he said...

"I missed you when I was at gramma's."

"I missed you too baby."

He leaned back and looked up at me, "Ya know what?"

"What sweetie?"

"When I grow up, I'm gonna marry you."

Awww... "You can't marry me baby, I'm your mom besides your daddy already married me."

"Yes, I can."

"No, sweetie you can't marry me but don't worry, you'll find someone you love and you'll marry that person."

He put his little hand on my face and said in all the seriousness his 5 year old heart could muster, "No, I'm gonna marry you because I love you and I want to be with you forever."

I'm not ashamed to say that I cried like a baby. Did I mention how much I love that little monster?

Now, on to my birthday....

I'll be turning 30 on August 4th (but shhh, don't tell anyone cause Angie and I are both card-carrying members of the "29-forever" club). My mom was going to throw me a party but I told her I'd rather go away somewhere so, she's taking me to Disney World for three days toward the end of August. I'm so EXCITED. Thats' my absolute favorite place to go!! I know, I know... I'm like an overgrown kid but I just can't help it. I've pretty much gotten all of my presents already... my trip to Disney and my tickets to The Anger Management Tour 3 (<< I'm excited about that too) but I still have to choose where I want to go for dinner? I don't know? I'm still tossing it around. Somewhere fun, I think. I could use fun.

With my birthday coming up it reminds me of the present Cameron gave me last year... It was the absolute SWEETEST thing. He bought me a 'Princess Barbie Doll' with a life-size plastic tiara. After I opened it my mom asked him to explain why he picked that out for me.

He said, "Cause you're a princess and I want to be your prince."

Sweet, sweet, sweet.

Thanks again for all the love and support, it means more than I could possibly express. *KISSES*

Aimee's Entry - Home SWEET Home...

If it wasn't so dirty, I'd kiss the ground. Definitely. I'm home. Thank God.

Yesterday around 1:00 pm while I was at work, I started having chest pains and it hurt like a bitch to breathe. I did what I always do and ignored it as long as possibe. I mean, I'd just been to the doctor Monday where she told me I have some serious issues to deal with so, I figured I was just having an anxiety attack. But by 4:30, I started to think that maybe it wasn't an anxiety attack after all because the pain wasn't going anywhere and my breathing was starting to get shallow because when I took normal breaths it felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart. It hurt. At 4:45, I drove my stubborn ass to the hospital (psst... f.y.i., if the words "chest pain" come out of your mouth in the emergency room, you're swept back in less than 5 minutes, no waiting room time at all... I was impressed).

Anyway, the next 6 hours were miserable. I had an EKG, a Venous Doppler, an X-ray of my heart, an X-ray of my lungs, a CT scan of my lungs, I was forced to chew (not fucking swallow) aspirin, they put a patch of nitropaste on my chest (that stuff gives you a wicked evil migraine), I was hooked up to a heart monitor (those little sticky circles itch), they started an IV and proceded to draw a gazillion tubes of blood.

And then they admitted me. Fuckers.

I'm fine though, I didn't have a heart attack, I didn't throw a blood clot or have a pulmonary embolism, which is what the ER doctor was worried about. In the end what was causing all the chest pain and breathing problems was inflammation of my chest wall due to an infection. So, they sprung me at 2:00 pm this afternoon and told me that until the infection cleared up and the inflammation went down, I'd most likely continue to have pain but they gave me some antibiotics to help clear up the infection.

I missed my infusion though because I was at North Broward Medical Center and I have my infusions at Imperial Point. My immunologist doesn't work out of North Broward so they said I'd have to reschedule my infusion where I normally have it. I thought that was bullshit because they're all part of the North Broward Hospital District but I guess they have their rules. Oh well. So, I'm home and it feels fabulous.

And I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who left comments on my last two posts, it means a lot to me.

I'm tired tonight (sleeping in the hospital when your roommate is an old lady who spends the majority of the night yelling at the nurses isn't easy) but tomorrow we'll talk about something happy. Like maybe my birthday? It's coming up, ya know?

Goodnight y'all.

Aimee is in the Hospital

Hi everyone I am Christie Aimee's sister. I am writing to Angie and all Aimee's friends. My sister is in the hospital like for chest pain, swelling and shortness of breath. She is being treated for a lung infection because of the shortness of breath and severe chest pain. As Aimee put it *BLAH* She is staying at North Broward Medical Hospital in Pompano Beach. Room number 505 bed 2. Hospitals number is 954-786-6590 and the room is 954-545-5295... All of you keep my sis in your prayers. Thank you! Christie

Aimee's Entry

I'm going to ramble for a bit here... I swear I have a reason for all this rambling so please bare with me.

Friendship is one of those precious gifts that some people tend to take for granted because they think that no matter what happens in life, that friendship will always be there. That's not always the case though... friendships fade and people drift apart. I'm one of those people who doesn't make friends easily. I don't know why? I just never have. Honestly, in the physical sense, I don't think I can name one person that's a "friend" who isn't part of my family. It's sad and it's lonely but that's just the way it is.

A couple years ago, I met a woman online (who I won't name for a whole multitude of reasons) and she came to mean a lot to me. She was a friend and I loved her. For that reason alone, I would have done anything for her. That's one of the things that's both a blessing and a curse for me. When I love, I love deep and if you're a friend, I'll give you the shirt off my back if that's what you need. No questions asked, no limitations, no stipulations, no expectations. Unfortunately, opening yourself up that way gives the person you've opened up to the power to hurt you. She hurt me. Badly. I wish I could say that I hate her for it but I don't (I'm not too fond of her but I don't hate her) because while she left a lot of scars behind, her betrayal sparked a friendship that means more to me than I could possibly explain.

Without this beautiful woman in my life, I'm fairly sure I would have gone quietly mad. She's helped me in ways you couldn't fathom and when I'm down and out, she just picks me up, dusts me off and helps me move forward. She did that for me today and I don't thik she realizes how much that means to me.

Angie, thank you for always being there to pick me up when I stumble. I love you.

I could write a five page post about the pity party I'm currently throwing myself but I don't figure that all of you wish to be invited. So, what I'm going to do is, get through the rest of the day, go home and indulge in a good cry.

I will say for those who care that my doctor's appointment didn't go swimmingly, they usually never to do but this one was worse than most. Apparently, I have some fairly serious problems that need to be addressed. So, I'm addressing them.

Angie's Entry - Weekend Recap

Well, this weekend was about as boring as it could be. So if you're looking for excitement, stop reading now! LOL

I was susposed to go with my mom out to South Dakota to where Brother is moving to at the end of the summer. So I spent most of last week trying to figure out what to do with the dog, who was going to watch her, how many days I should take off work. My mom couldn't decide when to leave, Friday in the morning, but maybe she should go to work but she'd only work until noon, or maybe not go in at all, or go in but we'd leave around 3 or wait until after rush hour and leave at 7. OH MY GOSH!!! MAKE UP YOUR MIND WOMAN!!! Sheesh!

I'm a planner. I like to know when I need to be somewhere so I can be there 10 minutes early. Just in case. So by the time Thursday rolled around, I still hadn't a clue as to whether I was even for sure going or not. My mom called the hotel and it was only gonna be $5 per night to bring the child, so I decided to bring the child. I could fold her kennel down and take it with. So I meet Katie to walk and told her I'm running home, grabbing something to eat and I'll see her at Nicole's ball game at 8.

I decided to bring the dog with me to the ball field and seriously? I didn't get across the playing field and two little children, who's parents seemed to be missing, latched onto me (and the dog) and would not leave either of us alone. My dog is not comfortable around children, mostly, because I'm the only one that can touch her face. And you know little kids, the first thing they do is go for a dog's head. After a while, the kids finally went away. The dog calmed down and that's when my mom called. I guess the room the school had booked for my brother only had one bed, so would I mind staying home?
*sigh* No, that's fine.
Are you sure?
Yeah, it's fine. Don't worry about it mom.
They said their going to bring in a roll away bed for Brother when he gets here. I'm sorry hon.
It's fine mom, I'll sleep in and get some stuff done around the house.
Could I ask you another favor?
Sure
Can I borrow another $50? I'll write you a check on friday for the $100 I already owe you and for the 50, if you can swing it. I know you're probably digging into your house payment money.
No, that's fine. I'll stop by after I leave the ballfield. Do you want a check or should I hit a cash machine and get you cash?
If you could stop at a cash machine that would be great.

Now don't get me wrong, I'll do anything to help my mom out, she's done damn near anything for me. But I'm already tight on money as it is. I won't even being to start going on about that, cause it's not what I wanted to post about.

So Friday I got to sleep in, which was nice. I cleaned the downstairs of my house which gets the messiest. It's where I spend most of my time when I'm home. I met Katie to go walking then we went back to her house. Jason was in the garage working on the motor for his camero.
I had a craving for brocoli in garlic sauce, so I ran and got some and we hung outside for a while longer. Until the mosquito's came out. We headed inside and watched TV and talked for a while then I headed home.

Saturday, I slept until 9 or so. Got up, showered, made breakfast then plopped my fat ass in front of the TV and stared at that until 5. Got up, stopped at the gas station, filled the Prix up got a couple packs of smokes and headed back down to J & K's for a BBQ. Mmmm, nothing better on the grill than burgers when it's 8-gazillion degrees outside with 9-gazillion percent humidity.

While we were sitting in the garage and a guy that I used to have a thing with walked by with his dog. I was perched on my ex's motorcycle (It used to be Jim's then he sold it to Jason) and dude did a double take. He finally cleared ear shot and Katie turned to me and I'm like, when did he get fat?
I know, makes ya wonder what you were thinking huh?
No, not at all. Back in the day he was fuckin hot. Not that he's not now, but he's gained some weight and what happend to his tan? Damn shame is what it is.

We decided we needed ice cream so off to Dairy Queen we went!! Katie and I go to Dairy Queen every summer a few times. It's a thing that her and I do. I rarely go without her. She's dieting, but gives herself permission to "cheat" every once and a while.

P.S. the Chocolate French Silk Pie Blizzard is fab. I need another one. Soon. I've been very, very good about staying away from Cold Stone. As a matter of fact, I haven't been to Cold Stone since I went in Hawai'i. Snaps for me!

Went backto the house, pulled some lawn chairs out into the garage door, where the breeze was blowing and hung out. Katie and I walked down to the neighbor's house that we used to hang at all the time and said hello to him. Then walked back to the house. He came down a little while later and joined us as we sat looking at the stars and listening to the traffic go by. It was a pretty peaceful night.

Ok, ok, I know what you're all waiting for.

I texted Aaron on Friday while I was waiting for my take out and haven't heard a thing back. I'm trying hard to blow it off, thinking he (hopefully) is busy with a new job and that's why he hasn't as much as said hi to me. Cause ya know, how did he put that? "we need to do a better job keeping in touch" Oh, ok, cause I texted you every fuckin day for a week and then you finally text me back 5 days later? But apparently this is something I need to work on? Hmm, let's get that right shall we hunny? Riiiiiight.

So no. I haven't heard anything from Aaron. I'm beginning to think I made to much of this in the first place. I shouldn't have gotten so excited about him being back in my life. It's not like there's anything happening with Pete either. Oh well, I'm perfectly happy being on my own. I learned a long time ago I don't need anyone to make me happy but me.

In house news, I have a new leak!!! My downstairs bathroom sprung a leak over the weekend. Now just a brief history on my house. Before I even moved in I had two floods. This "new" leak is coming from the ceiling in the downstairs bathroom. The ceiling is sagging and it's right under where my tub in the upstairs bathroom is. *sigh* Super, just what I needed.

So lemme have it, I can take it. Whatcha ya'll think?

Oh, and amateur plumbers out there, any advice?

Peace out homies.

Aimee, I love ya babe. Don't ever forget that. I know life sucks right now, but there's gotta be brghter days ahead, there's just gotta be!

Aimee's Entry - Thank You!

Evan... I quite simply adore you. Seriously. I already said this but I think you're amazing. Thank you baby.

g_c... I am a survivor… far more than you know. Thank you for reminding me of that. Your sunshine? That's the sweetest thing anyone has said to me in God, I don't know how long, thank you. Te quiero también... con todo mi corazón.

Castor... My relationship with my mother is lovely, she's my mother as well as my best friend. And although I rarely follow her advice (much to her dismay) until it's too late, I do respect her opinion and her advice immensely. I hope you have a great weekend too.

As for the swelling, well, it's still here as big and puffy as yesterday. I’m still in pain and I'm still grouchy. My mother is still riding my ass and still spouting off things like blood clots and pulmonary embolisms but I promised I would take care of it first thing Monday morning. And I will.

I don't openly talk about my medical problems very often, of course, if someone asks me about them, I'm more than happy to tell all (my doctor once told me that discussing my illness was a good way to get past my hang-ups about it and it educates those who don't understand). Plus, I have nothing to hide, I'm not ashamed of what I have, it's just that I don't like to push a lot of medical bullshit off on people who could really care less about it. But I'm going to talk about it now. If you care then keep reading, if not then feel free to tune out here.

When I was 22, I started having some serious problems with my health. I'd always had problems but nothing that severe, you know? It was scary but in my typical "fuck-it" attitude, I just shrugged it all off but unfortunately, it didn't go away, it only got worse. My wake-up call came one night on the way home from work. I worked for Publix and they decided to send me home because they didn't see any point in keeping me there when I was darting off to the bathroom every 5 minutes. On the way home I had to pull over on the side of the road, it was fucking awful, I was so weak I couldn't get out of the car so I just sort of hung my upper body out of the door while I vomited. I had another 25 minutes of driving before I made it home but my parents lived about 5 minutes from where I was so I decided to go there. They weren't home so I was just going to lay down on the porch and wait for them. I was numb from head to toe and it was freaking me out. I got out of the car and started walking toward the house, I was halfway up the driveway when I went down. And that's where my Uncle found me when he came home, passed out, my upper body on the lawn and my legs in the driveway. He carried me inside and waited for my parents to come home.

It was time to get serious. There was something wrong with me and my "fuck-it" attitude wasn't going to fly anymore.

I won't lie and say the next few months were a walk in the park, they weren't. They were miserable. I was tested for everything from a thyroid problem to Crohns Disease and they found nothing. I had a slew of blood tests, numerous intrusive and uncomfortable examinations, an Upper GI, a Lower GI, an Endoscopy and a Colonoscopy. After the last test (Colonoscopy) my gastroenterologist was baffled, he didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. My upper and lower GI track was covered with polyps (they were benign) and he told my mother, "I don't know? I've never seen anything like it. I'm not sure what to do."

Do you know how awful that is? To know that there is something wrong with you and nobody can figure out what it is. You're left in some kind of torturous limbo... Will they ever figure it out? Is it serious? Am I going to die?

I was a fucking wreck.

But the man was vigilant, he wasn't going to give up without a fight. There was something wrong with me and he was damn well going to find out what it was. So, he went to the Pathologist (bless the man) and told him my sorry tale. The Pathologist studied my blood tests and he noticed an abnormality. My T-cells were too high. They were way above normal level. Dr. P. told us the Pathologist shook his head and said, "You need to test her B lymphocytes, she has an immune deficiency." -
A what? What the fuck is an immune deficiency? And after all these hellacious tests how the hell could he tell that by looking at some damn blood test? I wasn't convinced.

But the man was absolutely correct. I have an immune deficiency called Hypogammaglobulinemia (tongue twister), doctors typically refer to it as CVID (common variable immune deficiency) or just CVI (common variable immunodeficiency).

Let me tell you, I wasn't happy about it. At all. I rebelled something fierce. I became moody and withdrawn. I refused to accept it as my reality and my parents finally forced me into counseling. It didn't help. Fuck her, fuck this disease, fuck it all. I was a very bitter woman and harder than hell to deal with. But I came around. What choice did I have?

There is no cure for CVID but it is treatable. I have to have intravenous immunoglobulin therapy. It's miserable. I fucking hate it with a passion I couldn't possibly describe. It's long (about 4 hours), painful and you feel like hell for days after it's done. I have to be pre-medicated before the infusions because I have a nasty reaction and that shit knocks me into a drug induced coma that's harder than hell to come out of, I lose a couple days every time I have an infusion. I have an infusion every three weeks.

As I said, I came around. I've fully accepted that this thing is a part of my life now and if I don't take it seriously, it could kill me and that's not an option because I have a little boy who loves me and depends on me, I can't let him down.

The only thing that I still have trouble accepting is what it might mean for that little boy who loves and depends on me. When they first told me that I have this, they said it wasn't hereditary but we've recently learned that more testing has shown that it is hereditary. Not all children who's parents have CVID get the disease but some of them do. I've tried not to think about the possibility of Cameron having to go through the same nightmare that I do but my immunologist told me that it's time I bring him in so he can get tested.

I've accepted that this is a part of my life but I wonder how the hell I'll be able to live with myself if he has to accept it as a part of his?

Aimee's Entry - Boo... Hiss...

I'm having a bad fucking day medically and it's bothering me. I don't normally let it bother me but today I can't seem to shrug it off.

I'm in pain and my legs, ankles and feet are swollen, it's very uncomfortable. My mom is pissed at me for not calling my immunologist today to tell her that I started swelling like an overinflated balloon last night and it keeps getting worse so she decided to put the fear of death in me by naming all the things that could be wrong. I understand why she felt the need to do it but it wasn't what I needed.

I'm tired. I've been trying to play it cool tonight and act like everything is just dandy but I gotta tell you, I'm just about out of false cheer.

Fuck it.

I'm sorry for this but I needed to vent.

Aimee's Entry - Livin' It Up In The Sunshine State...

Oh, Dennis... Dennis... Dennis... you just stick to your course buddy and don't even contemplate making any crazy curves to the north and we'll be aiight. I'll put up with all that shitty rain you're gonna drop on us (cause what's the difference, eh? It rains every fucking day anyway) and I'll suffer through the obnoxious wind without batting an eye but that's as far as I go.

We straight?

Good.

I swear to the heavens, I should've moved north... way, way, way north cause if it ain't fucking raining down here, it's hotter than bloody hell and everytime you turn around there's some tropical stormy, hurricanishy thing teasing us.

Ah, the joys of living in Florida are endless.

On a serious note... my heart goes out to all those in London who've been harmed by this senseless act of violence.

Aimee - Because Jay and Tom asked...

Here are a couple pictures of Drew's art work...



^^ Angie probably recognizes this one.



^^ This was hand painted not airbrushed.

Aimee's Entry - Anyone Local?

Kenny and Footy from Y-100 put out a call for an airbrush artist this morning. Drew called in and they put him on the air, it was pretty cool. They've asked him to come down to the radio station tomorrow morning to airbrush some abs onto Footy's belly.

So, if you're in Broward County or parts of Palm Beach County listen to Kenny and Footy on Y-100 tomorrow between 8 and 10 a.m. too see how Footy's abs come out.

Aimee's Entry - Whoo, here I go...

Put an ‘x’ in the boxes that apply...

Have you ever...

(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
(x) smoked anything else
(x) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x ) shoplifted
(x) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested (no thank god - knock on wood)
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date (I refuse)<< Ditto
(x) lied to a friend (who doesn’t tell white lies?)
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
(x) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
(x) had/have a crush on one of your friends
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) been moshing at a concert
(x) been in an abusive relationship (yes, emotionally and physically)
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely (all the time)
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sunset
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (ever heard of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey? )
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look (every day)
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced (No, but strangely enough, I've got a hankerin' to try it)
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes (colored ones are the coolest << Yep)
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean (And ocean sand is the hardest thing to get off your body and out of your hair ever! << Mmm Hmm)
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x ) sung karaoke (Shrugs... I'll do almost anything once)
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't (All the bloody time!)
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sunset with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true (if only they all would << Amen)
( ) humped a monkey (Um, no and have absolutely no desire to ever do such a thing! << Yeah, what she said)
(x ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed "penis" in class
(x) ate a dog biscuit
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them (What other reason is there to be drunk if you don’t walk around telling total strangers you love them? Duh! << YEAH!!)
(x) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone (Sigh. I did marry someone.)
(x ) glued your hand to something (Oh, stop all that laughing)
( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole
( ) kissed a fish (Why on earth would anyone want to do that?)
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
( ) had sex at a church
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didnt take a shower for a week (Ooo, I've got the heebee geebee's just thinking about that... Eeeeeeewwwww)
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school (Not that I recal but probably)
(x) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
( ) played chicken fight
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
( ) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house

And there ya be.