Blah, blah, blah!

And what-the-fuck-ever!

I've had the SAME headache since Tuesday afternoon and it's really beginning to piss me off. Sigh. Life so totally blows right now and I'm seriously contemplating throwing myself one huge ass pity party. Wanna come?

First, let's talk money. I don't have any. I work, day after monotonous day, and when the weeks all done and it's time to begin anew, you can typically find me somewhere praying to the gods that I don't overdraw my account before I can get my check in the bank and begin the bloody cycle all over again.

Anyway, since my health insurance sucks balls (which, mind you, can be a rather pleasant thing under the right circumstances), next week is going to be a bitch. Each of us (Cameron, Drew and myself) have a two thousand dollar deductible to meet before the insurance company will bother to pay for anything and though I've been paying "in-full" for all of Cameron's psychologist visits, I still haven't met it. Which means that at next weeks appointment after I finish paying for that visit, I have to add the $530.00 my insurance company didn't pay for the ADHD testing. That brings us to $585.00 which, sadly, is more than I make in a week. Sigh.

Thankfully I only have nine car payments left but unfortunately, one of them is also due next week. It'll be interesting to see how in the hell I manage to pull that one off.

Then, of course, there's rent, electric, phone, water, yadda, yadda, yadda...

I've gained 15 pounds in the last 3 months and I can't even begin to tell you how fat and ugly I feel right now. I worked so hard to get the weight off and like an asshole I've sat here and let it all come back. I'm 5 pounds away from where I originally started and lately, I just want to lock myself up somewhere and hide.

Cameron is doing AWFUL! Every single bit of progress we made before he left is gone, and if I'm being honest, it's worse than before he started counseling. I don't know what Mara was trying to prove by the things she did and said while Cameron was with her but all she managed to do, aside from cementing our decision not to allow her to spend any time with him without Drew or myself present, is turn Cameron into a bitter, angry, over emotional child who's way out of control. I despise her for that but so much more for this helplessness I see in him again that he'd been working so hard to get beyond. It's sad and frustrating and tiring but we'll get past this bump in the road.

But, on a positive note, I have an appointment with Cameron's psychologist next Friday, just he and I, to discuss the results of his ADHD testing. And though the doctor wouldn't tell me much when we saw him on Tuesday, he did say that because he knew it was something I was struggling with, he wanted me to know that he's not recommending medication at this time. He said there are a great many things that DO need to be done and we'll discuss them during the appointment but, at this time, medication is not one of them. Thank the gods.

After his appointment Tuesday night, I took Cameron to see the "Simpsons Movie". He'd been driving me batty over wanting to see it and I wasn't sure whether it was a good idea but Drew went to see it the weekend it opened and he told me that while there were definitely parts that would be considered "strictly adult", he figured it'd be okay for Cameron to see it, so I took him. Drew certainly wasn't kidding about the "strictly adult" parts but they weren't really plentiful and Cameron enjoyed it. We (Mike, Nicole, Drew, Cameron and myself) also went to see "Hot Rod" on Sunday and it was hilarious. My mom and I are going to see "Bourne Ultimatum" the next Friday and I can't wait, we were supposed to see it on my birthday but the movie theater was packed that night so we passed.

Well, I figure I'll stop right here, oh, there's other things I could babble and bitch about but all it's doing is aggravating this annoying headache that plagues me. Blah. So, that's it, I'm out.

Pure Randomness.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but the weather in Florida pretty much sucks. Big time. It’s so hot and muggy, it wreaks a bit of havoc with the whole breathing thing. And then there’s the thunderstorms, the suckers seem to pop up out of nowhere and they’re quite violent this year. Okay, enough of the weather talk for today.

So, what’s up? Not much my way really.

I finally finished and submitted my two stories for the next ST Anthology. I didn’t resend Sasha my original second submission (aptly titled “Mess”), the one I’d written in “Third Person”, because no matter how I tried, I just couldn’t get it to where I didn’t want to weep every time I read it. Sigh. So I went back to my odd form of “First Person” and I do believe she’s much happier with that.

Just as I was ready to suit up and go back into battle with my mother-in-law, she circumvented that by FINALLY having Cameron call me Friday evening. He sounded a bit sad but insisted he’s having fun. They’ve done some swimming in the springs, gone to this beautiful beach in North Florida and last week, he got to ride a horse named Romeo. Mara found out that school is starting two weeks later this year and made noises about keeping Cameron an extra week but that’s just not going to happen and I told her so. I don’t believe she was very happy with my decision but that’s not my problem. So, provided she doesn’t do anything ridiculous to piss me off, Cameron will be home on Monday.

“Girls Night” was fun. Christie’s having herself another girl so we had ourselves a spirited debate over names. Christie is stuck on “Elizabeth” but my mom and I aren’t crazy about it, so we suggested she use it as a middle name. When all was said and done, Baby Lacey was going to be christened with the name “Jade Elizabeth” but if I know Christie, that’ll end up being “Elizabeth Jade” or something else entirely. After the great name debate and some Chinese, we settled in to watch “Rush Hour” followed by “The Green Mile”.

Saturday I accompanied my mom on her trip to Okeechobee where I helped her clean the spare bedroom (otherwise known as the “Kiddie Room”) and clear out the attic to make some room for her move up there next month. And just as an FYI, being in an attic in Florida in July is akin to being in hell. After I got back, I picked up Drew and Mike and we hit Carrabba’s for dinner.

Sunday was a lazy day, Drew and I slept in, had lunch at Mango’s, went to the grocery store to do his shopping for the week then spent the rest of the day/evening lazing at his house. During our lazing, we watched “Stranger than Fiction” and it was much better than I thought it would be. I liked it.

This week has been alright so far. I’m tired and I’ve had the same headache for three days running but it could be worse.

And that's all.

Thank the Gods it's Friday!

It's been a bit, huh? I've meant to drop in a few times over the last couple weeks to say "what's up" but, well, I didn't. Time just seems to get away from me lately, it's actually running neck and neck with money these days. Sigh.

It's been a perfectly unpleasant few weeks in my world. I'm pushing for August to get here already because July has straight sucked.

On Tuesday the 3rd I got a call from Drew while I was standing in line at the bank, he'd been struggling with a nasty fever since Sunday and though that wasn't getting any better, it was his leg that was worrying him. As much as he detests doctors, he felt it was time to seek medical advice. Our doctor was out of town until the 11th so the Emergency Room was really our only choice. I drove back to work, shut everything down and headed off to scoop him up.

The ER was unusually quiet that evening (thank the gods) and we were registered, through triage, back in a room and conversing with a doctor in under twenty minutes. Drew's leg did look bad, the skin was mottled, swollen and badly inflamed from his ankle to just above his knee. The doctor pretty much knew right from the start that it was cellulitis but they took blood and X-rays and ran their tests. It was the diabetes (Drew's sugar was a bit over 330) that forced the doctor to admit him. So they wheeled Drew up to the 3rd floor, got him settled in a room and I sat with him until they finally kicked me out because it was past visiting hours.

We (my mom, Christie, Sarah, Cameron, Drew and myself) were supposed to spend the 4th at the beach picnicing and whatnot until it was time for fireworks. But, with Drew in the hospital, the day didn't go as planned. I couldn't (or wouldn't) let Drew sit all alone in a hospital while we were off enjoying the holiday so I sent Cameron with my mom, Christie and Sarah to beach it as planned and I headed out to spend the day with Drew. I stopped and bought him a sketch pad and some pencils, picked up his favorite magazine from the bookstore and some lunch at Baja Fresh (he hates hospital food) and we just spent the day talking and watching TV. And, since his "roommate" was released earlier in the day, we opened the curtains in his room and managed to catch some fireworks too.

They kept Drew until Friday, dosing him with tons of IV antibiotics, insulin and sugar pills. He's still on the sugar pills (the insulin will need to be discussed with his doctor, he has an appointment this morning) and oral antibiotics for his leg, which isn't completely healed but looks a LOT better. So all is as well as it can be there.

Cameron left with his grandparents (Drew's parents) on Friday the 13th to spend a few weeks in High Springs. I was going to be at work when they came to pick him up so I wouldn't be there to explain his "Behavior Program" or the "Behavior Chart" we've been doing with him. Because Cameron's psychologist explained that it was imperative he continue the program as he normally would at home I tried to explain it to Mara over the phone a couple evenings before they were to come and get him but she was completely disinterested so I asked my dad to explain it to her before they left.

And he tried, he really did, but Drew's mother cut him off with her snotty "I-know-everything" attitude and told my dad that, and I quote, "I've never had a problem when Cameron is with me, he behaves perfectly. Children will behave how they're taught to behave and if you teach them to behave well, they will. I'll take her chart but I don't know that I'll do anything with it." Needless to say, I wasn't happy with what I considered a blatant "fuck you" and decided that I'd call her myself and if she didn't listen and agree to do what I asked we'd just come and pick Cameron up. We, Drew and I, tried to reach her over the weekend because we knew she'd be in Miami visiting family until Sunday but, of course, we couldn't get ahold of her.

She called me on Monday afternoon when they reached High Springs (when, I'm figuring, she knew picking him up would be a bitch for us since it's six hours away as opposed to one) and again I tried to calmly explain it all to her. It didn't go well. AT ALL. In short, she told me I'm a bad parent, I treat Cameron like a heathen and not a human being so it's no wonder he behaves for me the way he does, I've never been smart enough to listen to her and take advantage of her vast "experience" as a parent because if I had I wouldn't be having any troule with Cameron, I'm wasting my money on this stupid psychiatrist (I didn't bother to explain it's a psychologist not a psychiatrist) because if I'd just listen to her and learn to how to parent correctly there wouldn't be any need for one. Oh, there's more but you get the point.

Well, let me tell you, I'm NOT going to take that shit from ANYONE least of all someone who doesn't deign to bother herself with Cameron until she's ready to see him which is no more than once or twice a year. I've done everything I can to make Cameron happy and to get him the help he needs and I absolutely will not tolerate having everything I've done thrown back in my face like it's nothing. So the calm I began the conversation with went straight out the window and I got unquestionably rude and more than a bit nasty with her. And when I was done, I had Drew call her and since neither of them particularly like the other that conversation wasn't pleasant for her either. I can't bring myself to care.

In the end, we didn't drive the six hours to pick Cameron up because she assured Drew that she'd do as we asked. But, seeing as every time she's had him call since it's been Niel (Drew's brother) who puts Cameron on the phone, I don't believe her and I are on speaking terms. Again, I can't bring myself to care. The really sad thing to me is, all this bullshit was over a simple piece of paper. Though that simple piece of paper has done more to help Cameron than I could possibly explain, she didn't have to agree with the concept or the program, all she really had to do was let the child put the stars on the chart at night before bed so he wouldn't lose the small sense of control that chart has helped him achieve.

Anyway, it's Friday and since Cameron's been away my mom, Christie and I have turned Friday into "Girls Night"--movies and popcorn and games and dessert. Last Friday it was "The Day After Tomorrow" and "Don't Say a Word" with ice cream and cupcakes. I'm not sure what movies we'll watch tonight but I know there'll be tacos, a game of "Clue" and brownies--yum.

I hope you all have a fun night and an equally as pleasant weekend.