A Whole New World.

Or year, whatever, though, considering all the changes currently happening in my life, a whole new world is certainly more apt. I could also dub this post, ‘Progesterone: Day One’ but that title’s not nearly as fun (FYI: It‘s now actually ‘Progesterone: Day Two‘ but, whatever).
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So, what’s up, peeps? I wish I could say not much here but, alas, I can not. In fact, there’s so much going on I fear my sanity’s in danger of flipping over to the dark side (seriously, when I start spouting nonsense like ‘Luke, I am your father’, drive me to the nearest loony bin and toss me in).
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Scariest thing, I seem to have lost my wit. Shudder. Just kidding, just kidding, although, it has been harder to come by these days. But, seriously, things are in such a flux for me right now, it’s hard to think straight so being witty, not so easy for me right now
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Where to begin? Where to begin?
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Perhaps I should start with the cyst-y, fibroid-y, anovulatory cycle having, premenopausal-ish, progesterone taking, infertile side. That’s a mouthful, huh? I could sit here and make flippant comments about how I used to be a woman but now I‘m not so sure but since, sadly, this is one of the things going on right now that bothers me much more than it probably should, I won‘t. I’m 34 years old, not young by any stretch of the imagination, but old enough to be going through (pre)menopause? To have to deal with the nightmare that are anovulatory cycles (mine, for some reason, are positively hideous) and the endometrial hyperplasia that could result from them? Or to deal with the fear of uterine cancer (among others) the endometrial hyperplasia could cause? To have to take progesterone for 7 days every month to regulate my “period” when I’m not ovulating anyway so what’s the fucking point? To have that devastating word ’infertile’ tagged to me like an albatross? No. No, dammit, I’m not. Not old enough and lately, I’m beginning to think not strong enough either. It’s kinda funny but out of all of it, it’s the ’infertile’ part that bothers me the most. Drew didn’t want any more children, as far as he was concerned Cameron was it and I resigned myself to that fact long ago but making the decision not to have any more children and being told that physically, you can’t are two entirely different things and I’m just not handling it well.
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And then there’s my job. Sigh. I’ve had the same job (though it’s grown into more than it was when I started) for 13 years and I love that damn job and more than that, I love the people I work with, they’re more than co-workers, they’re family and I can‘t imagine not going there everyday, not seeing them everyday, I just can‘t. Since we said our goodbyes last Wednesday, I’ve had this ache I just can’t ease, it’s hard to explain but in a lot of ways, it feels like someone died and took a huge part of me with them. This more than the financial and insurance related repercussions is what weighs on me most right now, though, I do realize those things are very much going to bite me in the ass sooner rather than later.
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Financially, we’re big fat mess right now. Drew is working, not steady but for now, he is working. When that ends, well, I don’t really know what we’re going to do then. As much as I don’t want to, I’m going to file for unemployment next week and try to get by with that while I look for another job and try to figure out what to do about the health insurance nightmare I’m about to embark upon. It’s like one big cluster-fuck right now as far as money is concerned. There’s still all the regular bills plus my medical expenses to worry about but somehow we have to try and start putting money aside in case we have to move. See, the building we live in was foreclosed upon a few months ago and now the bank owns it, since then, practically every family that lived here has moved out. Out of the eight townhouses here, only three of them are still occupied and I just don’t like how it’s all playing out especially considering all the people who’ve moved over the last three months had lived here for a good amount of time prior to the bank taking over. It’s a worry.
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The health insurance issue is a sticky one and I’m just not sure how or what I’m going to do about it. Right now, I’m covered until January 31st but after that, nothing. And being that I have a medical condition that unfortunately falls under that nasty “Preexisting Condition” clause (that should’ve been abolished years ago) it makes getting health insurance a bit stickier than normal. I’ve applied for Medicaid and been denied but I will apply again (and again if I have to) but if I do eventually get approved then I have to deal with finding a new immunologist because my current doctor (and the one I’ve had since 1998 who diagnosed my condition) does not take any form of government insurance. I could get a job and try to get on their group policy but the problem with that is, most company’s have a six month waiting period before health benefits are offered and then that nasty clause will most likely come into play and the benefits would be useless. It’s a mess and one my overtaxed mind is struggling to work around.
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Sigh. It’s all messy right now. Everything. It seems hopeless to me but I’m trying not to think that way. It’s hard.
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On the positive side of things, Cameron has baseball try-outs this week and he’s very excited about that. And all my babies (Handsome Jack, Harley, Mushu, Remy, Drago, Phoenix, Jasmine, Rock, Terra, Rex, Bugsy and Tabby) are all doing fairly well. Remy is still having issues with yellow fungus as is Harley and Terra and Rex still don’t eat on their own but we’re working on fixing those issues. Jasmine, our newest baby, was a skinny minny when she came to us but she’s fattening up nicely and that makes me happy. Despite all the problems in my life, these animals give me so much joy and I love them unbelievably, they’re like the children I now know for sure I’ll never have.
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And well, that’s really it, I suppose. There’s probably something I’m missing but since I can’t think of it, I’ll take it as one less thing to worry about.
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Happy New Year all. I hope 2010 is a splendid year for everyone.

What's up?

For me, it's all about Little League Baseball these days. If we're not at practice, we're at a game but while it does take up a lot of our free time (especially considering Drew's an Assistant Coach), it's a good thing because it's been very (very) good for my Cameron.


Cameron's team is the Mudcats. Practice started sometime in the beginning of February, Opening Ceremonies were held on Friday March 6th (where we won 1st place in the "Skills" competition--YAY!) and our first game was Tuesday March 10th (we won that one too!). The Mudcats are currently 3 and 1.


1st Game, we won. Mudcats 10 -- Scrappers 7.

2nd Game, we won. Mudcats 8 -- Storm 2.

3rd Game, we lost. Mudcats 7 -- Marlins 8. (Note: While we did lose this game by 1 run, it was (as yet) the best fricken' game we've had, it was very challenging, the Marlins are a GOOD team and we held our own so we didn't so much mind losing this one. Plus, my Cameron recieved the game ball and that rocked!)

4th Game, we won. Mudcats 12 -- Thunder 7.

It's been an awesome season so far and more than that, it's been so wonderful for Cameron, he's happier and more secure with himself than I've seen him in a long time. Good stuff. Our next game is this coming Saturday and me, who generally likes no sports, can't wait!

Aside from that, there's not much going on. Really.

He's growing up on me...

...and it's quite sad, really--my baby is no longer a baby anymore. He's nine, can you believe it? NINE. Where, oh, where does the time go? Sigh.

Halloween 2008

I don't think I mentioned this (mainly because I forgot my camera and therefore had to wait (and wait) for Christie to send me copies of the photos she'd taken) but my Cameron won "First Place" in a costume contest on Halloween night. As his prize he scored a new and improved version of the game "Operation"which couldn't have pleased him more as he loves the older version of that particular game. Anyhow, here are the photos of that long ago night...

Meh.

I have such a raging headache today. Boo. Hiss. Blah. I suppose that's what I get for going to bed before 10, too much sleep is just as bad as not enough sometimes.

So, peeps, what's up? I can honestly say, not too much.

"Secret Thoughts" comes out next Tuesday (yay) and I'm anxiously awaiting my author copy. Which, the lovely Ms. White tells me, is a "collector" copy due to some tiny snafu with the cover. I'm very, very excited about this book and I really hope it does well (*hint* go forth and buy, buy, buy *hint*).

Halloween's coming and my Cameron finally came to a decision about what he's wanting to be this year and wouldn't you know it, they're freaking "sold-out" of that particular costume at every store I go to. Sigh. Cameron was none to happy, let me tell you. But, thankfully, Drew has come to the rescue and alls well in Cameron's world again. What he wants to be is a "Zombie Skateboarder" (can you believe that costume was sold out?) so we're just going to recreate the costume ourselves (it's just some torn jean shorts, skull boxers, skate shoes and finger gloves) and Drew's going to airbrush his face/body to look like a zombie and give him a fab blue mohawk.

My mom is wanting to dress up this year and Christie usually does a little something but I, personally, don't want to be anything but myself. Cameron, of course, has other ideas.

Our neighbors are throwing a Halloween party this Saturday evening and Cameron's way excited. Drew, not so much because that means Cameron's costume will be getting a trial run. Heh. But it should be fun for kids and adults alike. I'd love to throw one myself because they have the awesomest decorations for Halloween themed parties but, sadly, finances won't allow for such frivolity.

I'm FINALLY getting accustomed to my new infusion therapy but it's looking like an impending change in insurance companies/coverage may force me to go back to the old way. Isn't that just the way? Ah well, c'est la vie. You know?

All of our scaly critters are doing just dandy. Growing and developing their own unique personalities.



And our furry critters are doing peachy as well, they've (with the exception of Baxter) been around for a good long while so their personalities are already in place.

Work is still trucking along and recently I've begun to have a smidgen of hope that it might be alright, at least in the short term. Drew is still not working full time but he's out busting hump everyday trying to get some jobs lined up.

Well, I'm sure there's something(s) I'm leaving out but I honestly can't think of anything right now so I guess that's all folks.

Much ado about nothing.

It's been a bit of a while since I've visited this space but truth to tell, there hasn't been a hell of a lot going on that's worth talking about.

Recenetly, I did get to reconnect with my best friend, Tracie, who I haven't spoken to in 6 years and that's a lovely thing. It's been awesome catching up with her.

Cameron is doing wonderful. We put him in summer camp this year and it's done wonders for his behavioral issues. He also met a couple new friends around his age that recently moved in, they're totally cool and their friendship has really helped him open up. There are still a few issues that we're working on and the new school year hasn't started yet but right now, he's doing really, really good. YAY!


Drew has been doing a series of paintings on famous people for a local gallery and that's been a blessing because there's been next to no steady work coming in from his regular job. There's also some talk of possibly doing some murals and such in Dubai, he'd be gone for too long and I'm not happy with that but he'd be making extremely good money and it would be an incredible thing to have on his resume so he's excited about it.


My Handsome Jack is a picky little monster, I've added a new ingredient to his salad and he's not really feeling it. He's so ornery and if I weren't so smitten, there'd be trouble. I took him to the vet a couple weeks ago and was happy to learn that he's not only very healthy but he's only about 10 months old and is indeed a boy.


Harley is growng like a weed too. He's (though he may be a girl, too soon to tell) all about the crickets these days (ate damn near 100 yesterday) and won't give the tasty greens we provide a second look. He's also discovered his little beard and now feels inclined to beard us on a regular basis. It's more cute than intimidating.


Hulk has discovered the power of sucking up and now realizes if he sucks up on the regular he's regaled with those tasty little treats he so desires. He's a lazy one, our hulk, but when he gets to feeling playful, he goes all out and everyone must watch their feet.


And me, well, I'm doing alright, I suppose. This year has been a bit hard on me healthwise and financially things have sucked out loud but lately, I've been feeling a-okay with everything and right now, I'm good with that.

Six Word Memoir

For the incredibly gorgeous and oh so lovely Lazy Geisha, whom I love dearly, I shall post my six word memoir (although, if you still feel the need to come down here and spank me, gorgeous, by all means... come).

But first, the rules:

* Write your own six word memoir

* Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like

* Link to the person that tagged you in your post

* Tag five more blogs with links

* And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play

Now to the business at hand, my six word memoir...

"Life's ordinary moments beget extraordinary memories."

I'm not going to tag anyone specific but it's a more thought provoking meme than most so if you're interested, please have at it.

Still alive and kicking (sorta).

I'm like so totally busy these days. Sometimes it seems like I don't have time to think much less do. It's crazy. And I can't say I like it much.

At work, we're busy moving the offices and whatnot from one location to another while trying to carry on business as usual. Chaos at its finest.

At home, things aren't quite so chaotic. Cameron has taken a (very) small turn toward the positive as far as his behavior at school goes but, for the most part, many of the major problems still remain and it's extremely frustrating trying to turn them around especiallly considering he just doesn't care to try.

Drew and I are in a very good place (I'm not even going to expound upon the fact that he called me the wicked witch of the west this morning. LOL.). We're working together to help get Cameron on the right track and all that good stuff. Our finances are a straight mess, we just don't make enough money and it's hard. Very hard. A couple recent unexpected and very blah occurences have made it harder but we're dealing.

My health sucks. It's gotten so bad, I swallowed my distaste for doctors and dragged my ass in to the gastroenterologist. He's treating me for the simplest possible problem at the moment and if that doesn't fix things, he'll move on to Plan B (which I sincerely hope to avoid).

And that's really all there is--just busy, busy, tedious busy.

Well...

Since it's still 2007, I was figuring I should maybe do a post or some such thing before the clock strikes midnight on the 31st and we bravely enter 2008.

So, here I am.

Anyway, Christmas is coming and I'm not nearly as excited as I usually am this time of year. Cause you know, being broke blows and all that so I stress (and I stress and I stress and I stress). Between Drew's check and my check, we're hoping to wrap up the whole gift end of the deal this weekend. But, seeing as my company is closing 12/24 through 1/1 to make up for withholding our vacation this year, and we're not getting paid again until 1/3, it's going to be a rough couple weeks once Christmas has passed. The Lottery is sounding really good right about now. Ah well, it'll work out. Somehow.

Cameron is doing awful with a capital A(WFUL)! We're still in counseling but he's not getting any better. His teacher has spoken with us (on more than one occasion) and his doctor because it's getting to the point where she's having trouble controlling him and his school work is starting to suffer. So, the psychologist has scheduled an appointment for after the holidays with Drew and myself to discuss putting Cameron on medication. Sucks, sucks, sucks.

On the health front (for myself), things are going alright but my insurance company is being pissy about approving any future infusions until they revisit my medical history and blah, blah, blah. It's idiotic and redundant but it saves them some money to stall so they're doing their thing.

And on the writing front, "Secret Thoughts II: Lustful" made it in to the Top 10 Bestsellers at MBaM two days after its release and is still there. Coolness. Also, I got to give away two free copies (one for each site) to a couple of "lustful" individuals and I want to sincerely thank those who participated in my contest! It was fun!

And that's really it. It's basically same old, same ole around here.

Happy Birthday, My Baby!!

My Cameron will be '8' this Saturday but we'll be busy visiting Mickey so I'll just go ahead and wish him a happy one now!

I love you my monkey!

P.S. Thank you Evan and Angie for wishing him a happy one in the previous post! Mwah!

Uninspired.

Insanity is hereditary--you get it from your kids. ~ Sam Levenson

Cameron, my own true love, is driving me positively batty and his teacher, sadly, shares in my pain. He's been misbehaving at home, at school, etc., etc., etc. and the monotnous lecturing and loss of privileges don't appear to be making a dent in that hard head of his. Sigh. Ah well, we'll just keep trudging on, I suppose.

Anyway, there's really not all that much going on at the moment and certainly nothing exciting or worth writing about. But, since I've been so quiet, I figured I'd drop in and say, "what's up?" and catch you up on all the boring details of my non-exciting life.

Lets see, since it's been decided that's where we're celebrating them this year, we've been getting the house ready for the holidays, which has been no small feat (trust me). We've also been preparing for the birth of Christie's baby, Jade (it's tenatively scheduled for Friday November 23rd but Dr. F said he may have to move it to Saturday the 24th because he's having trouble finding someone to assist him during surgery on the 23rd) and my being away from home for a few days while I stay with Christie and Jade in the hospital. And last but certainly not least, we've been saving up and whatnot for Cameron's birthday trip to Disney World the second weekend in December.

Hmm, that's pretty much it. See--all boring. Hopefully things are a bit more impelling in your world.

Later Gator.

Strangers in the night...

"Ayo, I'm tired of using technology, why don't you sit down on top of me."

Sorry. That song just won't stop bouncing around in my head. It's somewhat annoying really.

So, it's been a bit of a while, eh? Stress more or less forced me into a state of hibernation and while I don't particularly like that because it's akin to hiding out, it was quite necessary to help preserve my sanity. I'm not sure it completely worked but seeing as I'm not currently stark raving mad, I suppose it did its job.

Anyway, it's another day, another dollar, another raging stress related headache for me. Ah, life, how sweet it is. So, c'est la vie, I say.

I've been reading a whole hell of a lot the past six months or so and throwing my organizational soul into a tailspin, have been stacking the books I've read next to the bookshelf (we wouldn't want to confuse them with the book I haven't read, would we?). Since they're just sitting there all stacked and in the way, I got to couting them last night and was a bit baffled that I've read a bit over a hundred books, it certainly doesn't feel like I've read that many. But, my mom said, since I have a different book in my hand practically every day, it makes sense to her.

My cell phone is off again (sigh), my mom is making noises about paying the bill to get it turned back on but if she doesn't, I won't be able to do it myself until next Tuesday. I hate working my ass off and still not making enough money to pay the bills. And you can forget anything extra, it just isn't happening these days.

So far Cameron's been doing alright schoolwise this year, sort of. This teacher hasn't been near as helpful as the last one but it's early yet so we'll see. Homewise is whole different story all together. On August 24th, I had an appointment with Cameron's psychologist to discuss the results of Cameron's testing and other various things. Cameron was diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder; Combined Type (which means that this type of ADHD has six or more symptoms listed in the DSM-IV for Psychiatric disorders in both hyperactivity and inattention). Though the doctor recommended that Cameron NOT be put on medication at this time, I'm more than a bit worried because that recommendation was made based on Cameron's positive progress before he went away. The doctor has to decided to stick with the "No Medication Therapy" recommendation but because Cameron suffered such a major set back when he went away, the doctor set a time limit on that recommendation (one to two months) and if Cameron continues to struggle and have problems beyond that time limit, we'll have to discuss medication therapy. Right now, it's not looking good but I haven't given up hope that we'll turn things around before medication is necessary. Wish us luck.

You know, school just started August 20th, which is what, 3 weeks ago, and they've already sent home three fundraisers and a scholastic book order. How ridiculous is that? Apparently the school and the blasted PTA thinks us parents are rolling in it. I can assure them, we're not.

Drew cleaned out my car yesterday so you can actually see the floorboard now. Heh. He said I should be ashamed of the mess I had going on in there. Then last night, he had Cameron upstairs cleaning out his room while he stood guard. And from what I hear, he and my dad are going to tackle the cleaning out of the garage sometime soon, that should be interesting. My chore is the master bedroom and the, oh so frightening, walk-in closet. Ugh.

I have to meet my mom at Curves tonight for some sweating with the oldies but tomorrow evening, we're hitting Starbucks for a yummy Pumpkin Spice Latte. Oh, the calories but Yum!

And that's really all I've got at the moment. Have a peachy one.

Blah, blah, blah!

And what-the-fuck-ever!

I've had the SAME headache since Tuesday afternoon and it's really beginning to piss me off. Sigh. Life so totally blows right now and I'm seriously contemplating throwing myself one huge ass pity party. Wanna come?

First, let's talk money. I don't have any. I work, day after monotonous day, and when the weeks all done and it's time to begin anew, you can typically find me somewhere praying to the gods that I don't overdraw my account before I can get my check in the bank and begin the bloody cycle all over again.

Anyway, since my health insurance sucks balls (which, mind you, can be a rather pleasant thing under the right circumstances), next week is going to be a bitch. Each of us (Cameron, Drew and myself) have a two thousand dollar deductible to meet before the insurance company will bother to pay for anything and though I've been paying "in-full" for all of Cameron's psychologist visits, I still haven't met it. Which means that at next weeks appointment after I finish paying for that visit, I have to add the $530.00 my insurance company didn't pay for the ADHD testing. That brings us to $585.00 which, sadly, is more than I make in a week. Sigh.

Thankfully I only have nine car payments left but unfortunately, one of them is also due next week. It'll be interesting to see how in the hell I manage to pull that one off.

Then, of course, there's rent, electric, phone, water, yadda, yadda, yadda...

I've gained 15 pounds in the last 3 months and I can't even begin to tell you how fat and ugly I feel right now. I worked so hard to get the weight off and like an asshole I've sat here and let it all come back. I'm 5 pounds away from where I originally started and lately, I just want to lock myself up somewhere and hide.

Cameron is doing AWFUL! Every single bit of progress we made before he left is gone, and if I'm being honest, it's worse than before he started counseling. I don't know what Mara was trying to prove by the things she did and said while Cameron was with her but all she managed to do, aside from cementing our decision not to allow her to spend any time with him without Drew or myself present, is turn Cameron into a bitter, angry, over emotional child who's way out of control. I despise her for that but so much more for this helplessness I see in him again that he'd been working so hard to get beyond. It's sad and frustrating and tiring but we'll get past this bump in the road.

But, on a positive note, I have an appointment with Cameron's psychologist next Friday, just he and I, to discuss the results of his ADHD testing. And though the doctor wouldn't tell me much when we saw him on Tuesday, he did say that because he knew it was something I was struggling with, he wanted me to know that he's not recommending medication at this time. He said there are a great many things that DO need to be done and we'll discuss them during the appointment but, at this time, medication is not one of them. Thank the gods.

After his appointment Tuesday night, I took Cameron to see the "Simpsons Movie". He'd been driving me batty over wanting to see it and I wasn't sure whether it was a good idea but Drew went to see it the weekend it opened and he told me that while there were definitely parts that would be considered "strictly adult", he figured it'd be okay for Cameron to see it, so I took him. Drew certainly wasn't kidding about the "strictly adult" parts but they weren't really plentiful and Cameron enjoyed it. We (Mike, Nicole, Drew, Cameron and myself) also went to see "Hot Rod" on Sunday and it was hilarious. My mom and I are going to see "Bourne Ultimatum" the next Friday and I can't wait, we were supposed to see it on my birthday but the movie theater was packed that night so we passed.

Well, I figure I'll stop right here, oh, there's other things I could babble and bitch about but all it's doing is aggravating this annoying headache that plagues me. Blah. So, that's it, I'm out.

Happy Birthday to Me!

This Saturday I, quietly and definitely without fanfare, turned 32. It was a really nice day. I was treated to lunch at Ruby Tuesdays courtesy of my mom and dinner at the Cheesecake Factory courtesy of my mom and Drew. As for gifts, I got a haircut and blow dry from my mom, an I-Pod, an I-Tunes gift certificate, a stuffed goofy and a stuffed turtle from Drew, a Brighton purse from Kim, gift certificates to Barnes and Noble from Cathy and a pretty set of worry beads from Warren. I love it all. And thanks to all who remembered and took the time to wish me a happy one.

In other news, my Cameron is back--YAY--he arrived yesterday afternoon and I couldn't be happier.

Anyway, here's some pictures from my birthday. Enjoy.

Pure Randomness.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but the weather in Florida pretty much sucks. Big time. It’s so hot and muggy, it wreaks a bit of havoc with the whole breathing thing. And then there’s the thunderstorms, the suckers seem to pop up out of nowhere and they’re quite violent this year. Okay, enough of the weather talk for today.

So, what’s up? Not much my way really.

I finally finished and submitted my two stories for the next ST Anthology. I didn’t resend Sasha my original second submission (aptly titled “Mess”), the one I’d written in “Third Person”, because no matter how I tried, I just couldn’t get it to where I didn’t want to weep every time I read it. Sigh. So I went back to my odd form of “First Person” and I do believe she’s much happier with that.

Just as I was ready to suit up and go back into battle with my mother-in-law, she circumvented that by FINALLY having Cameron call me Friday evening. He sounded a bit sad but insisted he’s having fun. They’ve done some swimming in the springs, gone to this beautiful beach in North Florida and last week, he got to ride a horse named Romeo. Mara found out that school is starting two weeks later this year and made noises about keeping Cameron an extra week but that’s just not going to happen and I told her so. I don’t believe she was very happy with my decision but that’s not my problem. So, provided she doesn’t do anything ridiculous to piss me off, Cameron will be home on Monday.

“Girls Night” was fun. Christie’s having herself another girl so we had ourselves a spirited debate over names. Christie is stuck on “Elizabeth” but my mom and I aren’t crazy about it, so we suggested she use it as a middle name. When all was said and done, Baby Lacey was going to be christened with the name “Jade Elizabeth” but if I know Christie, that’ll end up being “Elizabeth Jade” or something else entirely. After the great name debate and some Chinese, we settled in to watch “Rush Hour” followed by “The Green Mile”.

Saturday I accompanied my mom on her trip to Okeechobee where I helped her clean the spare bedroom (otherwise known as the “Kiddie Room”) and clear out the attic to make some room for her move up there next month. And just as an FYI, being in an attic in Florida in July is akin to being in hell. After I got back, I picked up Drew and Mike and we hit Carrabba’s for dinner.

Sunday was a lazy day, Drew and I slept in, had lunch at Mango’s, went to the grocery store to do his shopping for the week then spent the rest of the day/evening lazing at his house. During our lazing, we watched “Stranger than Fiction” and it was much better than I thought it would be. I liked it.

This week has been alright so far. I’m tired and I’ve had the same headache for three days running but it could be worse.

And that's all.

Bah. Ugh. Blah.

I am so fucking tired, I'm starting to feel like the walking dead. Dead, I tell you. And I swear, I do believe today was the longest day of my life. I've been home from work for less than an hour and if I blink for too long it'll be time to go back. Sigh.

Friday was Drew's doctor appointment, the doc kept him on Metformin for the Diabetes and since his blood pressure was 160 over 100, he's now on blood pressure medication. His blood panel came back today and there are a couple things that need work (cholesterol, liver enzymes) but, all in all, my mom said it wasn't as bad as she feared it would be.

Cameron hasn't called me yet this week (yes, I know, it's only Monday) and I miss the little monster something fierce! I hate when he goes away like this. But, because of the lack of respect she showed me and the numerous lines Drew's mother crossed, I am consoling myself with knowing that this is the last time my Cameron will be away from me for this ridiculous amount of time.

"Girls Night" was wonderful! We had taco's, watched "The Italian Job" and munched on brownies while playing "Clue". And the rest of the weekend was nothing to complain about either.

The rest of this week will more than likely be busy--I have to put on my "Third Person" hat and try to work myself out of the mess that is my second submission for the next ST Anthology and other random things but since we're coming close to the end of hell that was July, I've decided the best thing to do is just grin and bear it.

And that's all. I'm off to read, I was going to don that hat tonight but it's too late and my mind is tired.

Thank the Gods it's Friday!

It's been a bit, huh? I've meant to drop in a few times over the last couple weeks to say "what's up" but, well, I didn't. Time just seems to get away from me lately, it's actually running neck and neck with money these days. Sigh.

It's been a perfectly unpleasant few weeks in my world. I'm pushing for August to get here already because July has straight sucked.

On Tuesday the 3rd I got a call from Drew while I was standing in line at the bank, he'd been struggling with a nasty fever since Sunday and though that wasn't getting any better, it was his leg that was worrying him. As much as he detests doctors, he felt it was time to seek medical advice. Our doctor was out of town until the 11th so the Emergency Room was really our only choice. I drove back to work, shut everything down and headed off to scoop him up.

The ER was unusually quiet that evening (thank the gods) and we were registered, through triage, back in a room and conversing with a doctor in under twenty minutes. Drew's leg did look bad, the skin was mottled, swollen and badly inflamed from his ankle to just above his knee. The doctor pretty much knew right from the start that it was cellulitis but they took blood and X-rays and ran their tests. It was the diabetes (Drew's sugar was a bit over 330) that forced the doctor to admit him. So they wheeled Drew up to the 3rd floor, got him settled in a room and I sat with him until they finally kicked me out because it was past visiting hours.

We (my mom, Christie, Sarah, Cameron, Drew and myself) were supposed to spend the 4th at the beach picnicing and whatnot until it was time for fireworks. But, with Drew in the hospital, the day didn't go as planned. I couldn't (or wouldn't) let Drew sit all alone in a hospital while we were off enjoying the holiday so I sent Cameron with my mom, Christie and Sarah to beach it as planned and I headed out to spend the day with Drew. I stopped and bought him a sketch pad and some pencils, picked up his favorite magazine from the bookstore and some lunch at Baja Fresh (he hates hospital food) and we just spent the day talking and watching TV. And, since his "roommate" was released earlier in the day, we opened the curtains in his room and managed to catch some fireworks too.

They kept Drew until Friday, dosing him with tons of IV antibiotics, insulin and sugar pills. He's still on the sugar pills (the insulin will need to be discussed with his doctor, he has an appointment this morning) and oral antibiotics for his leg, which isn't completely healed but looks a LOT better. So all is as well as it can be there.

Cameron left with his grandparents (Drew's parents) on Friday the 13th to spend a few weeks in High Springs. I was going to be at work when they came to pick him up so I wouldn't be there to explain his "Behavior Program" or the "Behavior Chart" we've been doing with him. Because Cameron's psychologist explained that it was imperative he continue the program as he normally would at home I tried to explain it to Mara over the phone a couple evenings before they were to come and get him but she was completely disinterested so I asked my dad to explain it to her before they left.

And he tried, he really did, but Drew's mother cut him off with her snotty "I-know-everything" attitude and told my dad that, and I quote, "I've never had a problem when Cameron is with me, he behaves perfectly. Children will behave how they're taught to behave and if you teach them to behave well, they will. I'll take her chart but I don't know that I'll do anything with it." Needless to say, I wasn't happy with what I considered a blatant "fuck you" and decided that I'd call her myself and if she didn't listen and agree to do what I asked we'd just come and pick Cameron up. We, Drew and I, tried to reach her over the weekend because we knew she'd be in Miami visiting family until Sunday but, of course, we couldn't get ahold of her.

She called me on Monday afternoon when they reached High Springs (when, I'm figuring, she knew picking him up would be a bitch for us since it's six hours away as opposed to one) and again I tried to calmly explain it all to her. It didn't go well. AT ALL. In short, she told me I'm a bad parent, I treat Cameron like a heathen and not a human being so it's no wonder he behaves for me the way he does, I've never been smart enough to listen to her and take advantage of her vast "experience" as a parent because if I had I wouldn't be having any troule with Cameron, I'm wasting my money on this stupid psychiatrist (I didn't bother to explain it's a psychologist not a psychiatrist) because if I'd just listen to her and learn to how to parent correctly there wouldn't be any need for one. Oh, there's more but you get the point.

Well, let me tell you, I'm NOT going to take that shit from ANYONE least of all someone who doesn't deign to bother herself with Cameron until she's ready to see him which is no more than once or twice a year. I've done everything I can to make Cameron happy and to get him the help he needs and I absolutely will not tolerate having everything I've done thrown back in my face like it's nothing. So the calm I began the conversation with went straight out the window and I got unquestionably rude and more than a bit nasty with her. And when I was done, I had Drew call her and since neither of them particularly like the other that conversation wasn't pleasant for her either. I can't bring myself to care.

In the end, we didn't drive the six hours to pick Cameron up because she assured Drew that she'd do as we asked. But, seeing as every time she's had him call since it's been Niel (Drew's brother) who puts Cameron on the phone, I don't believe her and I are on speaking terms. Again, I can't bring myself to care. The really sad thing to me is, all this bullshit was over a simple piece of paper. Though that simple piece of paper has done more to help Cameron than I could possibly explain, she didn't have to agree with the concept or the program, all she really had to do was let the child put the stars on the chart at night before bed so he wouldn't lose the small sense of control that chart has helped him achieve.

Anyway, it's Friday and since Cameron's been away my mom, Christie and I have turned Friday into "Girls Night"--movies and popcorn and games and dessert. Last Friday it was "The Day After Tomorrow" and "Don't Say a Word" with ice cream and cupcakes. I'm not sure what movies we'll watch tonight but I know there'll be tacos, a game of "Clue" and brownies--yum.

I hope you all have a fun night and an equally as pleasant weekend.

Picture Time.

Happy 4th of July!

Well, my mom is on her way to pick up Cameron to take him to the beach for the 4th and I'm headed to the hospital to sit with Drew (the horrid sickness that started on Sunday ended up not being the flu at all. It appears he has cellulitis that's quickly spread from his ankle to up past his knee and isn't healing quickly because his immune system is compromised due to the full-blown diabetes we didn't know he had).

Anyway, I hope you and yours all have a positively lovely holiday.

I got a sunburn this weekend!

It's so annoying! And, in a couple days, the peeling will start. Ugh.

Anyway, all in all, it was a pretty okay weekend. No movies, which was a bummer because I really wanted to see "Live Free or Die Hard" (have I ever mentioned that I'm a huge "Die Hard" fan?). But, movies aside, we all had a good time.

The memorial for Robins mother was this Saturday, since she insisted she didn't want any fuss when her time came, it was short--a moment of silence and the reading of a poem. After which, he commenced with his annual 4th of July celebration, in her honor, so there was a lot of food and fireworks.

Plus, there are two ATV's and one dirtbike so we (Christie, Sarah, Drew, Cameron and myself) did a whole lot of riding and a bit of racing too. Christie and I took control of the bigger ATV (she was driving) and challenged Drew and Cameron, who were on the dirtbike, to a friendly race. They won but it was a lot of fun. I took pictures but since I left my digital camera in Okeechobee I won't be sharing them with you just yet.

Family drama aside (of which there was plenty, especially considering the fact that the final divorce papers for my mom and Robin were delivered that morning--sigh), it was a perfectly pleasant day.

Drew came down with some kind of flu and woke up horridly sick on Sunday, he was burning up and achy and miserable so Cameron and I spent the day tending to him. I took him home last night so he wouldn't have to get up this morning when I left for work and he wasn't looking well, I hope he's feeling a bit better today.

And that's all really, it's Monday and back to work for me. I hope you all had a lovely weekend.